MetaChat - Happy Donuts are everywhere.

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23 January 2008

Happy Donuts are everywhere. Makes me long for a Despondent Donut. A Manic Donut, at the very least.→[More:]Seriously, I see no less than three of these places on my way to work each day and it's a little too much chipper-ness in the morning, even for me, so I've started amusing myself by making up anything-but-happy donut shop names.

post by: Frisbee Girl at: 14:17 | 31 comments

Donuts of Despair?
Angioplasty Cakes?
House of Deep-Fried Balls of TransFats?

posted by mudpuppie 23 January | 14:24

What about those "Have a happy period!" maxi pad commercials on tv? That's one of the stupidest, most patronizing, trivializing things I've ever heard and it makes me crazy!

Clinically Depressed Donuts?
Passive Agressive Donuts?
One Argument Away From Lacing Your Coffee With Arsenic Donuts?
The Quadruple Bypass Donut Shop?

posted by iconomy 23 January | 14:27

Don't Fuck With Donuts
World O' Hurt Donuts
You Want a Piece of My Donuts?
We Got Your Donuts Right Here, Pal

posted by bmarkey 23 January | 14:31

Broken Home of Donuts
Bitter, Divorced Donuts (and Bottomless Cup of Coffee!)
The Donuts at the End of Your Rope
The Big Black Hole

posted by bmarkey 23 January | 14:37

Say Hello To My Little Donut
Cortex's Donuts of Unusual Size
Fuck You If You Don't Like Donuts

posted by iconomy 23 January | 14:37

Say Hello To My Little Donut

I scared the dog when I read that.

posted by bmarkey 23 January | 14:40

My boss wants to know why I'm laughing so hard. *whew* I've missed you guys.

posted by Frisbee Girl 23 January | 14:45

Dying for Donuts

posted by Ardiril 23 January | 14:48

Sulkin' Donuts

posted by Atom Eyes 23 January | 14:51

Deep-Fried Rings of Spite
Fresh Out Of Donuts
Despairin' Donuts

posted by bmarkey 23 January | 14:54

Soylent Kreme

posted by Atom Eyes 23 January | 14:55

I Love You, But I've Chosen Fatness

posted by Atom Eyes 23 January | 15:02

Fatty Fatty Starchball
The Worst Thing For You
Stuff Around The Hole
You Wanna Eat Around The Hole
Pokeable
Poke It
Shove It In Your Facehole
You Want Donuts Or Not?

posted by ethylene 23 January | 15:08

All I Want Is A Goddamn Donut

posted by box 23 January | 15:09

No, We Don't Have Donuts. That's A Bastardized Spelling Of Doughnuts, Which Is What We Sell Here. Learn How To Spell And We Might Just Sell You One. Moron.

posted by iconomy 23 January | 15:15

Deep-Fried Rings of Spite

Aaahahahahahah, that made my day!

posted by MonkeyButter 23 January | 15:17

Short derail: I used to work in a bagel shop back in the day, and I lost count of how many customers came in looking for do(ugh)nuts. One even asked me what the difference was. My other pet peeve was people asking for sour cream on their bagel when they really wanted cream cheese. I was very tempted to add sour cream to our dairy order, just so I could oblige them.

posted by bmarkey 23 January | 15:21

Donuts of Antipathy. Their slogan: Take a flying fuck at these rolling donuts!

posted by elizard 23 January | 15:30

For bmarkey:

Do y'all have those things? They're like bagels, only sweeter.

And not Jewish.

Also, they've got sprinkles.

Oh, and there's twelve of them.

Do y'all have those?

posted by Atom Eyes 23 January | 15:33

Doughnuts of Doom
Doughnuts of Darkness
Dark Side Donuts
Angstie's Donuts of Loathing

posted by mygothlaundry 23 January | 15:51

My hoops, My hoops, My lumpy fructose loops

posted by Atom Eyes 23 January | 16:01

Anagram Doughnuts - This Week's Special: Adz Leg Hound Guts
Dunk This, Mofo

Atom Eyes, was that you? You're the one who wanted to know when we'd have more day-old bagels, aren't you?

posted by bmarkey 23 January | 16:12

i have to also vote for Deep Fried Rings Of Spite
but

YOUR HOO HAS ARE FLOATING IN THE POO

posted by ethylene 23 January | 16:14

- The Donut of Imminent Demise
- Terminal Toroids from Beyond the Statosphere
- MAKE YOU"RE OWN FUCKING HOLE DONUTS

posted by doctor_negative 23 January | 17:30

^mentally faved

posted by iconomy 23 January | 17:39

When I die, they'll say, who? And then someone will say, oh, you know. The fella with the giant donut.

And they'll all say, oh, yeah. Huh. Wonder where you get a donut like that.

posted by cortex 23 January | 17:57

Do we blame your demise on the Voodoo?

posted by ethylene 23 January | 18:07

ethylene, depends on where you live.

posted by danf 23 January | 18:22

Twenty Glazes, Same As In Town

posted by iconomy 23 January | 20:24

Eat Me Donuts.

posted by jonmc 23 January | 20:31

DoNOTnuts
DoMEnuts
How's Your Hole Donuts

posted by plinth 24 January | 10:25

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