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10 January 2008
What do women want? Someone asked me this tonight. I said hummus, and I meant it.
But I don't speak for all women. What do you want?
It's hard to say what is overkill, and what is not.
It's nice to see the seat down after a standing-up pee-er has used the toilet. But after one of those barbarians who pee all over the seat leaves the bathroom, it's a different story. I would rather that they had lifted the seat, peed all over the naked bowl and then left an unbesmirched seat for the next urinator to put down.
One of the things that women want is for women who spray to at least lift the toilet seat first.
freshwater_pr0n, AMEN to the women sprinklers needed to lift the goddamn seat first! Especially in public restrooms!
The rest is according to my fiance: When it comes to gifts, shoes and rings have been well received. As for around the house, everyone wants a clean toilet and kitchen. Preferably the former, with the lid down.
Also, a non-embarrassing internet history is good, too, if you can manage it.
The sows who piss on the seat should use the seat covers/ toilet paper provided.
Right now I want a big, warm, solid straight man who looks like Daniel Day Lewis sans facial hair, has the body smell of the man I loved in college and who does not find vulvas horrifying.
Hey, arse_hat, non-embarrassing does have a lot of range at my house. Some disclosure is generally nice. Please check your MeFiMail when you get a chance. :-) It's nothing related to this conversation.
If a man finds vulvas horrifying, wouldn't that kind of indicate that he is...? Oh brujita! My sympathies! Those guys who are confused can be confusing and frustrating.
Why the hate for swedish cars people. Vulvas may not be the most exciting vehicles, but they've a great safety record. Plus, you get a lot of leg room.
A man who gave me tupperware would have to have a lot of other fantastic qualities to make up for it. Hummus is good, but a man who can and will do home repairs and remove bugs from my vicinity would be pleasant. A man who can and will dance would be able to get away with a lot, including gifting me with tupperware.
Kalamata hummus on a jalapeno bagel is about the best cross cultural treat I can imagine (I guess you could put, like, some sea urchin roe on it too and really catch all the continents) and I, like most women, want it hot and right now.
Also, when I'm the Evil OverLady, there will be immediate public executions of all the ladies room pee spraying seat hoverers, male or female.
Heehee. Sorry, I can't be bought that easily, danf.
I like hummus and I like vulvas, but I don't like thinking about both of them at the same time.
This morning, the guy ahead of me in line at the convenience store paid for my coffee. It made me feel amazing. So my answer to what this women wants is for good-looking strangers to buy them coffee at WaWa.
Oh, I would like it if guys, in addition to putting the seat down, tidy up the bowl before doing so. Because sometimes you sit on that seat and you catch a whiff of something, if you know what I mean...
I just flashed back on the Mystery Date board game that we had (my older sisters got it). We had the version on this blog.
My dream date: Nice, funny man with even, even sunny, disposition. We hang out Friday night and have fun. He stays over and we have fun sex. On Saturday he fixes something that's broken in my apartment while I make coffee and breakfast. Around 2:00 he goes home. Repeat weekly.
The funny thing is that when the gf left for school this morning, she forgot her hummus, left it sitting on the kitchen counter. I dutifully put it in the fridge a little while ago. Now I have been struck by three realizations: 1) I really want some hummus. 2) I never knew it, but I always wanted a woman who wants hummus. 3) I suddenly have one.
Wait, pups, you have cheese or you want cheese? (Now I sort of want cheese, too)
also, mudpuppie, you made a cameo in my dream last night, which was about a ferry boat. Seeing your name there suddenly reminded me, but you were calling yourself "Charles" which was a little odd. Ont the other hand, you were both very helpful in keeping everyone on the boat occupied during an unpleasant crossing and rather well-dressed.
I want the damned kitchen sink to be EMPTY dammit, not full of cold dishwater and dirty dishes "soaking" for the last two days. Leave them dry on the counter, or drying in the rack, plzkthx, good Lord.
I don't want anyone right now, unless you are an 40+ tweedy fascinating fellow who hates videogames and can help me finish my damned crosswords. Also you must let me cook for you! Also, you must never ever cohabitate with me, instead have a nice place full of weird masculine knick knacks and strange books. Please be able to identify trees because I've always wanted to take long walks with someone who could do that!
I have everything I want, and he puts both seat + lid down anyways as we are both contact lens wearers who've lifetime experience dealing with tiny overcrowded bathrooms. The first time you drop a lens (or knock the whole damned case) in the john, you get in the habit of shutting the lid regardless of your gender.
In my house it's seat & lid down, or the cat goes fishing, which is gross, especially if he managed to catch something.
clearly you've met mr. lfr's Mephistopheles the Evil Overlord Feline Destroyer of Civilisation(s). Were we to leave the lid up I wouldn't put it past him to fish Cthulu himself out of the shitter.
photo by splunge
photo by TheophileEscargot
photo by Kronos_to_Earth
photo by ethylene
