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09 January 2008

My grandmother had a stroke on Monday [More:] she also has an infection and aspiration pneumonia which were only diagnosed after she had the stroke. Apparently she'd also had one which wasn't treated properly when the "caregiver" who had been abusing her was still there. I've just gotten an email saying she's paralyzed (she'd been in a wheel chair for some time after breaking her hip) on the right and unconscious.

I'm not sure what I'm feeling; I don't like or love her, given that I saw her being a nasty, bipolar alcoholic most of my life. She became much more subdued once she was diagnosed with (I think alcoholic) dementia and put on Prozac and tranquilizers after my mother became her conservator, but that was way too late to develop any sort of loving relationship.

However, I think it's my duty to go back to LA when she dies (other than the meetup, this past week there hasn't been that great because of my illnesses and the tense situation with my aunt--it also turns out that my dad has been doing his exercises, but has gained back all the weight he lost right after the heart surgery) ...there won't be any funeral--she'll be cremated and scattered in the ocean-- but I assume there will be some kind of family gathering; complicated by the fact that my youngest uncle has been court ordered to stay away from everyone in the family (more much later on that). This may well be within the next few days.
((((brujita))))

The is still often sadness at the passing of a family member even if you don't get on well. And there is probably sadness at the loss of any chance of having a loving relationship with her (regardless of whether this was ever going to be possible).

On top of everything else going on it's only natural to be in need of doing a whole bunch of working things out. You are probably so overwhelmed with everything that has gone on.

Remember though to take care of yourself during all of this too.
posted by gomichild 09 January | 06:25
I can't add anything to what gomichild has already said. I wish you strength. Take care.
posted by chrismear 09 January | 06:55
Oh, brujita, that's so sad - it's never never easy - there's so much left to be said. Sorry to hear this. ((((brujita))))
posted by mightshould 09 January | 07:59
Very sorry dear :-(
posted by ThePinkSuperhero 09 January | 10:30
Oh, brujita - that sucks.

If, if and when you're back in LA, you want to grab some coffee/dinner and chat/vent/get whuffles/get support, let me know. I was out of town for the meetup but I'm in Culver City with a car and a flexible schedule.

*hugs* Take care of yourself with all this.
posted by Fuzzbean 09 January | 12:44
As others have said, take care of yourself. Strength to you.
posted by arse_hat 09 January | 14:27
(((brujita)))
posted by deborah 09 January | 14:54
I'm so sorry, brujita. Big hugs to you.
posted by jrossi4r 09 January | 15:47
Thanks all...I'll keep you updated.
posted by brujita 10 January | 02:44
stay tough!
::hugs::
posted by casarkos 10 January | 02:59
So sorry to hear... you're in our thoughts.
posted by Pips 10 January | 17:37
Afghan Whigs fan? || OMG! Albert Finney and some sexy Austrian guy with a mustache

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