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06 January 2008

Britney suicide watch? [More:]Yeah, it's like, beyond the possibility of funny anymore. Real Chris Crowther/"She's just a baby" (Craig Ferguson) territory. Read the coded messages in the quotes.
I feel sorry for her.
posted by sperose 06 January | 02:01
Poor thing.
posted by CitrusFreak12 06 January | 02:48
I was kinda hoping "Britney suicide watch" was a timepiece I could buy.
posted by mullacc 06 January | 03:21
I hate all this. I wish they'd leave the girl alone. "Driving aimlessly". How in the holy hell could they know that? Maybe she thought the only place she could be on her own for a while was in her car driving round the neighbourhood.
posted by essexjan 06 January | 05:01
I guess if she were expressing any, as they say, "suicidal ideation" (been there &c.) they would not have released her.

On the other hand, she seems to always reach through the bottom someone says she's hit and find a new one.
posted by stilicho 06 January | 06:21
I can't imagine being in her shoes. She's 25. Shades of Marilyn Monroe.
posted by chewatadistance 06 January | 07:47
Poor little Brit :-( Hope she gets some help.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero 06 January | 08:39
I wouldn't be surprised at all if this were bipolar (apparently it's in the family lineage and all that.)

My heart aches for this child. And right now I am so disgusted with Dr. Phil I could spit.
posted by bunnyfire 06 January | 08:48
Actually, for once I actually agree with Dr. Phil for once (and probably only). Brit needs psychiatric care (not from Dr. Phil or an anonymous ask.metafilter.com question, but from someone qualified). What is sad is how she has the money to get help the best help and to get away from the paparazzi and get her shit together. It is clear that she's not surrounded by real friends and family with her best interests at heart. I mean, her mother actually sold the story of Britney's sister getting knocked up to the press. Forget for a moment the part about a 16 y.o. getting pregnant. But what kind of mother sees dollar signs during a family emergency?


posted by birdherder 06 January | 09:05
I have never been a big Britney fan and in fact, in the beginning of her career I wished she wouldn't be famous for just being blond and a mediocre singer but I would have never wished this on her. She needs help. I sincerely hope she gets the assistance she needs to turn her life around.
posted by LunaticFringe 06 January | 11:20
I saw some footage, and the ambulance could barely move because the photographers were swarming. They should have been arrested for obstructing an emergency vehicle. The media frenzy is appalling, the appetite for it even more so, and it seems to be feeding her mental illness. It would be good if someone cared enough about her to have her committed. A month or 6 of proper meds, therapy and good nutrition would surely help.
posted by theora55 06 January | 11:20
They should have been arrested for obstructing an emergency vehicle.

Yes, that might have actually done some good. I watched a video of Kevin blocking pap from getting too close to the kids in the car in front of him. Driving like a loon he still seemed to be the responsible parent. How nuts are those "photographers" to chase after babies in a car, regardless of the danger to the kids and all other drivers on the road?
posted by dabitch 06 January | 12:22
Oh yeah, and that whole driving aimlessly is caught on camera too. Maybe she originally had intentions of going somewhere specific but didn't want the paparazzi after her and couldn't shake them so she kept circling the blocks trying to figure out how to get away.
posted by dabitch 06 January | 12:24
actually that kind of looks like she's letting the car in the "visitors" lane in with her, not random driving (now that I bothered to watch the video). So she had an errand outside, get a friend inside!
posted by dabitch 06 January | 12:34
also I'm an idiot, what are the coded messages in the quotes?
posted by dabitch 06 January | 12:35
I don't want Britney to commit suicide, but I do hope she quits the music business. More than anybody else, she's responsible for the sorry state of popular music today.
posted by jonmc 06 January | 12:46
More than anybody else, she's responsible for the sorry state of popular music today.

Sorry, that can't be true.
posted by grouse 06 January | 12:53
grouse, it's because of her success that the top 40 is at least half full of prancing dimwits warbling electronically sugared synthpop and getting rich because they have perky boobies.
posted by jonmc 06 January | 12:58
Britney is symptom, not a cause.
posted by bmarkey 06 January | 13:01
exactly. Which is why I gagged the first time I saw her pop-tarting around yelling "baby hit me one more time". It's a bit like the eighties when whatshername was on the top of the charts. That 16 year old who wrote her own songs. Gag. Except that one was a goodie-two-shoes virgin or something. Debbie Gibson?
posted by dabitch 06 January | 13:07
The other manufactured bands of Britney's era aren't much better. I mean, "spice girls"... Uuughhhh.
posted by dabitch 06 January | 13:08
p.s. mullacc's comment already 'won' the thread. ;)
posted by dabitch 06 January | 13:09
The other manufactured bands of Britney's era aren't much better.

I have no problem with manufactured artists. Hell, I love the Monkees, the Archies and the Partridge Family. But back then the people running the manufacting machine cared about quality control, rather than just saying 'here's a cute girl, buy this.'

Britney is symptom, not a cause.

Right. The people who buy her records are the cause. It irks me that she's a gazillionaire and the Bellrays are still playing small clubs 15 years on.
posted by jonmc 06 January | 13:15
Actually I dig two Monkees songs too, I must admit. ANd when I Was five I totally adored the show.

But yeah the whole "check out young titty that can barely sing whom we have taught a few 'cool' dance moves to and squeezed into something patent leather and/or sequiny" sctick is sickening. At least the spice girls were five chicks trying to do the same moves. ;)
posted by dabitch 06 January | 13:18
At least the spice girls were five chicks trying to do the same moves. ;)

and 'Wannabe' was actuallya decent pop song.

Actually I dig two Monkees songs too, I must admit.

They have a whole slew of them actually. They worked with some of the most talented people of their time: Neil diamond, hal Blaine, etc. and Monkee Mike Nesmith wrote the amazing "Different Drum." and "Last Train To Clarksville" was covered wonderfully by Flatt & Scruggs, and they rebelled against their handlers.
posted by jonmc 06 January | 13:23
Actually, I'd say that the music industry itself is the problem. When accountants run what is ostensibly an artistically-based business, they're gonna go with what's easiest to sell: sex. Titties market themselves.

Must run, busy day today. I'll pop back in later.
posted by bmarkey 06 January | 13:27
Titties market themselves.

I guess that explains Jessica Simpson films.
posted by dabitch 06 January | 13:29
I love boobies as much as any human possibly could but here's the thing: you can't hear them and records are for hearing.
posted by jonmc 06 January | 13:43
I guess that explains Jessica Simpson films.

No, not really. Neither of two most recent films have even had theatrical debuts. People like what they like, and they generally like what is good. Britney Spears' or the Spice Girls' music doesn't suck just because you don't like it. I happen to enjoy both.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero 06 January | 13:44
Britney Spears' or the Spice Girls' music doesn't suck just because you don't like it. I happen to enjoy both.

I love ya, pink, but Britney does indeed suck, and doubly so because it's her ilk that's been keeping real rock and roll out of the charts for the past decade.
posted by jonmc 06 January | 13:57
No, she really doesn't suck; you just don't like her music. You not liking something doesn't mean it sucks.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero 06 January | 13:59
People .. generally like what is good. [citation needed]
posted by matthewr 06 January | 14:02
Ducking in breifly to say that what actually, truly sucks is that from Day One Britney has been exploited by the people who were supposed to be looking out for her. Whatever you might think of her music, you've gotta feel for her being left to twist in the wind the way she is now.
posted by bmarkey 06 January | 14:03
doubly so because it's her ilk that's been keeping real rock and roll out of the charts for the past decade.

Britney Spears' Blackout Denied #1 Debut On Billboard Chart After Last-Minute Rule Change- New Eagles album, a Wal-Mart exclusive, sold more than twice as many copies.

On preview, bmarkey- I completely agree. Whether you like her music or not, it's clear she had very few people looking out for her as a person. All they cared was the ca-ching!
posted by ThePinkSuperhero 06 January | 14:05
Is "Dis is Why Ah'm Haat" supposed to be good music then?
posted by brujita 06 January | 14:06
Uh, positing the Eagles as an example of 'real rock and roll' is not strengthening your agument. (although as annoying as the Eagles can be, they are actual musicians and songwriters which puts them light-years ahead of Britney)
posted by jonmc 06 January | 14:09
brujita: I think that song rules. Again: music doesn't suck just because you don't like it.

[citation needed] I was referring to the hilarity of the whole Jessica Simpson "acting" thing- no matter how much her father keeps pushing it, she's not Julia Roberts, and the movies are not selling just because she has boobs. It's times like this that I have faith in the taste of the masses.

jonmc: ok, chuckdarwin.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero 06 January | 14:13
You can't save something from sucking just by liking it.
posted by mullacc 06 January | 14:27
Busta Rhymes was part of an all day concert at Jones Beach several years ago (I went because Bowie was on the bill). I walked in during his (their) set and the only word I could make out was "motherfucker".

I didn't put this in the LA thread, but what one of the things I loathe is that the thug "culture" which was spawned here has gone worldwide.


Miss Lynnster, you do not have my permission to use this. I am a writer myself, with an MFA from Iowa
posted by brujita 06 January | 14:32
It's times like this that I have faith in the taste of the masses.
Yes, that's great actually, what I'm fascinated by is that they're actually made in the first place, unlike some really good scripts out there with talented actors we've yet to hear of. Yaknow? That's what I thought of when bmarkey said "When accountants run what is ostensibly an artistically-based business" - oh that totally explains Jessica Simpson's films being made. I'm glad the world said "No thanks!"
posted by dabitch 06 January | 15:03
This past few weeks on Swedish telly most (almost all) decent shows that I try and watch on a specific channel at prime time, have "sponsored by Britney Spears and her new album Blackout" clip showing every time there's a commercial break. I've found it quiet amusing when it ends up on shows clearly not being viewed by Britney's target and such. Since this weekend those little bookends during each ad break have gone mysteriously missing.
posted by dabitch 06 January | 15:09
Yes, that's great actually, what I'm fascinated by is that they're actually made in the first place

Well, in the case of Jessica Simpson, her father produces all her films. One thing I've noticed after a few years of regular theatre-going is that the less people involved in the creation of a project (i.e. the director is the producer is the writer is the star of the show), the worse the show usually is. guess it works the same for family affairs, as well :-)
posted by ThePinkSuperhero 06 January | 15:41
Aaah, that explains everything. I didn't know about the dad pushing for those girls.
posted by dabitch 06 January | 17:59
Wow, I'm out of it. Her new album is called "Blackout"? What clueless asshole named it?
posted by desjardins 06 January | 18:34
I really hope Britney is Bipolar, and that's not just another spin. I kind of makes sense, in retrospect.

I thought Kurt Cobain was fine, I thought Anna Nicole Smith was fine, I don't think Brit is fine. Hopefully I'll be wrong again.

TPS, I disagree with your stance that music has no meaning, a consumer either enjoys it or not. What's the point? The point to me equals a point of view. Britney's music seems to have none. Amy Winehouse? Has a point of view. The Eagles? Have a point of view. One speaks to me and one doesn't, but if there is no There there, as with Britney's music, I just don't care.

This begs the question - if there IS a point of view, who's is it? I love listening to Winehouse, but I'm prepared to admit that the POV is not necessarily her own. Producers, Writers, Handlers, can have that POV and the result is the same. Interestingness. The Supremes, for example.

The poor thing never had her own agency, much less a point of view via anywhere. Strict Consumerism at it's worst.
posted by rainbaby 06 January | 19:39
TPS, I disagree with your stance that music has no meaning

I didn't say that; I didn't speak to that topic at all. How could music not have "meaning"? All music has a point of view, I think; whether or not people get into it is, again, their personal choice (and their personal choice is not a reflection on the quality of the music; it's just a reflection of their personal taste). From what I've heard of Britney's latest album, there's quite a lot of her personal stuff in there (see the lyrics to her latest single), which I think is one reason it sold a reasonable number of copies (reasonable for an artist who didn't do any promo)- people were curious about what her music would reflect of the chaos that is currently her life.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero 06 January | 20:12
Jessica Simpson has movies? (Hides under bed.)
posted by Claudia_SF 07 January | 01:01
As much as I dislike the pop-tarts music and ad shilling (she carries the Pepsi curse which is somewhat better than the Dr Pepper Curse where the spokes-pop-people die or get cancer), I really wonder what is ging on. It seems to me that if not bipolar she must have post partum depression of some sort. It also seems like she locked herself in not wanting to give up her baby(ies), which I really can identify with. If courts told me to give mine up, you wouldn't have much luck, and I'm sane (or so they say). Course, from I gather she didn't attend the hearings so she put herself and the babies in that situation, which makes her seem like a right loon.
posted by dabitch 07 January | 06:25
You not liking something doesn't mean it sucks.

And you liking something doesn't mean it doesn't suck.

(I have no problem with someone liking britney. But of course her music sucks. It's the lowest common denominator. I like some crappy music too, but I won't defend it. The idea that art can't be judged is nonsense)

which I think is one reason it sold a reasonable number of copies (reasonable for an artist who didn't do any promo)- people were curious about what her music would reflect of the chaos that is currently her life.

Promo? I can't flip the channel without seeing her face. There isn't a gossip site that doesn't publish her life 24/7. You can't buy the kind of attention she gets. Sure, it's because she's a train wreck, but publicity is publicity.
posted by justgary 07 January | 08:36
The idea that art can't be judged is nonsense

Yea, but not by people who know nothing about it. No one shown him or herself to be a knowledgeable contender in this thread (anyone listened recently? Quick: name two songs on the newest album? And tell me about their sound?).

Sure, it's because she's a train wreck, but publicity is publicity.

And that's the scary part, and that's the part that relates back to what this thread was originally about. They got her to record this album during this crazy time in her life (blood from a stone, for sure), she didn't do any traditional promo methods- no tour, no TV interviews or appearances (other than the VMAs, which were a disaster), no in-stores. So when the album still sold, I sat back and thought, man, now they have no reason to help her get better. They can still make money off her when she's like this. That's pretty scary.

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 07 January | 09:03
I love Britney, but for all the wrong reasons. I think I did it again.
posted by ColdChef 07 January | 11:20
Kids, kids, kids. This is why it's generally not a good idea to critique things by saying that they suck. You end up with "This sucks", "No, it doesn't", "Yes, it does", ad infinitum, ad nauseum. The discussion never really goes anywhere.

Use your words.

For example: While it's true that I haven't listened to a whole bunch of her music, the tracks that I have heard seem very plastic. I'm not fond of the glossy production, for one thing, as it tends to steam-roller whatever personality the performer might have. I hear the producer loud and clear, but where's Brit? It's very de-personalized music, to my ear, and the fact that she tends to lip-synch her performances doesn't help in that respect. How do we really know for sure that that's even her voice on the backing track? Plus, the whole dance-pop genre just leaves me cold.

There, see? It's couched in terms of my own perception of the music, which is all anyone has to offer anyway. This way, we avoid the whole "yer fave band sux" thing. Also, those who enjoy her music are left with concrete points which they can attempt to refute, if they so choose.
posted by bmarkey 07 January | 12:41
Plus, the whole dance-pop genre just leaves me cold.

It seems like that's kind of the issue, here, yes? If people don't like the genre at all, it's hard to evaluate the music within it very effectively. (Not impossible, but hard.)

I haven't listened to any Britney Spears in years (heh, that rhymed), so I'm not calling myself a very qualified judge, but I loved the first album, mainly because every time I heard any of the singles, I immediately wanted to start dancing. Which, I'm guessing, is probably a strength -- and likely the most important strength -- for a dance-pop song.
posted by occhiblu 07 January | 12:56
Excellent points as usual, occhiblu.

Saying that something sucks is often a way of dismissing it without thinking about it. Anything can be critiqued, but simply stating "that sucks" won't get it. You have to actually examine whatever it is you're talking about. I don't talk much about dance-pop for the same reason I don't have much to say about, say, pickeled herring: I've tried it, I didn't much like it, and consequently I haven't been motivated to investigate it all that deeply. None of which means that you can't enjoy it, or that either you or it "suck".
posted by bmarkey 07 January | 13:29
I love boobies as much as any human possibly could but here's the thing: you can't hear them and records are for hearing.
posted by jonmc 06 January | 13:43


*Marks comment as favorite*
posted by pieisexactlythree 07 January | 16:07
Is this what we're reduced to now? Your favorite band sucks?
posted by grouse 07 January | 20:40
Bravo, bmarkey!
posted by ThePinkSuperhero 08 January | 16:50
Miss Lynnster, you do not have my permission to use this. I am a writer myself, with an MFA from Iowa


Huh? I am not on MeCha that much & have sworn off of celebrity gossip for the time being so I missed this comment until it was brought to my attention by someone else just now.

So brujita, uhhh, I'm sorry Busta Rhymes cursed at you, and that's nice to hear that you have a degree and are a writer... but I'm not sure what you think any of that has to do with me.

Regarding last week's Los Angeles AskMe, it was never posted with the intention of finding pull quotes from people. That was never what I needed. I was simply trying to listen and understand a specific point of view and what people felt inspired it, so I asked a question just for research purposes. But that aside, since I had 50+ answers there, if I DID want quotes there would be no reason for me to come here, to a Britney Spears thread on an entirely different site, to pull quotes without telling people. That makes no sense & frankly is a really weird & somewhat paranoid accusation.

I'm also sending you a MeMail to say the same thing, but I wanted to state it publicly as well, just in case someone here actually believed you or something.
posted by miss lynnster 08 January | 18:02
Okay, I hear you.
posted by brujita 09 January | 02:57
Crowded House (newest version) was just on Austin City Limits || Specklet seyz

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