Three or four jiggers of the best rum you can get (with at least one of those being a white rum)
A dash of orange bitters (this will be the tricky part)
Juice of one fresh lime.

The better the rum is and the better the orange bitters, the better the drink.

I'm a fan of Blue Hawaiians, myself. 2 parts pineapple juice, 1 part rum, 1 part blue curacao, (1 part vodka or champagne, but I do not think this is traditional, just how I and my friends always make it, and yummy), garnish with lots of fruit.

Oh, and if you make a big elaborate garnish on a stick, top with an unseasoned crouton. Put some vodka on it, and light it on fire just before serving. Wooooweeee! (fire drinks best served early in the night, for obvious reasons)

You could always go to the source, and try that... The Trader Vic's in Vancouver closed down ages ago, but I did go there once and spent scads of money of wonderful drinks. mmmm.

BOP's Set-Your-Ass-On-Fire Mai Tai

1 oz dark rum (I like Myers, but any decent dark rum will work)
1/2 oz Malibu coconut rum
1/2 oz Bacardi 151 (told you it was gonna set your ass on fire)
splash Amaretto
splash Chambord
pineapple juice
splash cranberry juice (to taste -- use more if people find the drink too sweet)
squeeze fresh lime juice
squeeze fresh orange juice

Dump it all in a shaker full of ice, shake until frothy, pour into tiki mug, garnish with festive paper umbrella. Or float with 151 and serve while blazing.

More than two of these will cause temporary amnesia and may lead to public removal of undergarments. The author of this recipe assumes no responsibility for actions taken by individuals who have consumed this delicious cocktail.