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15 December 2007

Today, I got to use a one-liner, that I've had on my mental hard drive for about two decades.[More:] I was at the desk at work when two confused looking Frenchmen came up and said "We are looking for Eric Clapton..." I looked him dead in the eye and said "He don't work here."

Also, yesterday at work, I had a twenty-minute intermittently hilarious, borderline incoherent conversation with an elderly woman who turned out to be the half-deaf senile widow of Hilly Krystal. She said I was a 'great guy' because I went and got her a chair. When her son returned, I said that I had had a lot of goodtimes at his Dad's club and had been at one of the last shows. He said he was bitter because his sister had gotten most of the inheritance, but he thank me anyway. Nice to have a brush with NYC semi-royalty.

Now me and pips are gonna watch the holiday special "Ho Ho Ho" version of Cops.
Patti Smith on Hilly.
posted by mischief 15 December | 20:40
If you don't got Eric Clapton then your store could use some

napkins?
posted by interrobang 15 December | 22:16
Nice one, jon.

(And I used to know a guy who dated the girl in that video, interrobang.)
posted by jrossi4r 15 December | 22:23
Heh. Things were so nuts in there today that I drank three large coffees just to keep up. My manager said that I looked like him back when he used to do a lotta coke.
posted by jonmc 15 December | 22:39
Run JMC - I'm going to your store dressed in a duster and boots, with a low-slung ten-gallon on my haid, and I'm going to saunter up to your counter and say loudly, "Your time has come, son. Time to pay the piper."

(which is one of the phrases I've always wanted to say).

Awesome about the Hilly brush.
posted by Lipstick Thespian 15 December | 23:06
One of the best one liners someone ever used on me was this girl behind a counter. . I was writing a check and I asked, "do you need some I. D.?"

"No, I already have an I. D."

OK you had to be there. . .
posted by danf 15 December | 23:12
I once had a bartender ask me why my handwriting was so small.

As if from a great distance, I suddenly heard myself telling him we'd had a paper shortage in my grade school.
posted by tangerine 16 December | 02:56
Heh.
I'm still waiting for someone to ask me how to get to Carnegie Hall.
posted by Hellbient 16 December | 03:33
I do by jumping out the window.
posted by brujita 16 December | 06:21
Carnegie Mews?

(I almost had a house-trade to stay there a few years ago. Fell through, though.)

posted by danf 16 December | 11:54
I did once have a customer searching for something suddenly turn to me and question, "Honey?"

I grinned at him and shot back, "Darling!!"


Luckily he had a great sense of humor.
posted by redvixen 16 December | 19:33
Heh. Back when I sold PC's for a living we'd ask for customer's email addresses so we could alert them when their system shipped. When I asked one lady, she paused for a moment, then in a tiny voice said 'sensuouslady@foo.com.' I arched a brow and deadpanned 'At last we meet...'
posted by jonmc 16 December | 19:56
No
posted by brujita 17 December | 01:31
I once went into a butcher and asked for $2 of mince (for dog food) - the instant response was "to eat here, or take away"?

Yeah, I guess you had to be there for that one, too.
posted by dg 17 December | 04:57
Some cool music on a dreary night. || I can haz Prius!

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