MetaChat - GYOB, CD (or, Crazy Sisters, Cont'd)

MetaChat is an informal place for MeFites to touch base and post, discuss and chatter about topics that may not belong on MetaFilter. Questions? Check the FAQ. Please note: This is important.

09 December 2007

GYOB, CD (or, Crazy Sisters, Cont'd) I'm not sure I should even post this here since it's kind of personal and more than a little depressing... →[More:] My (new, improved, extra calm) mom called me last night to tell me that my sister tried to commit suicide two nights ago (overdose).

Amazingly, mom didn't take her to hospital (she didn't want to be sectioned) and she survived. More amazingly, mom left her alone with a gun (she has a concealed carry permit)!!

As soon as I found out she still had the fucking thing, I made my mom go and get it (she was asleep) and hide it. She won't be happy, but it's tough shit. People who try and kill themselves can't have a fucking pistol. Them's the rules.

My mother is completely powerless in this situation, like a child, and she basically wants me to tell her what to do. I said that my sister should be sectioned, but I know she won't do it.

Mom wants me to talk to my sister (because I successfully managed to help her and my brother seek treatment for their depression), but that won't do any good... If she wanted my advice she'd ask for it.

I'd need to be alone with her for a good solid week, but that's not likely either.

Call me unsympathetic, but I don't think this was a 'real' suicide attempt. I think it was her Marla Singer impression.

I'll talk to her, but I don't think I can get through her various walls and bubbles. Many professionals have tried and failed, and she's bitter towards me (she thinks I have everything she deserves).

Good news about mom, though... she seems great (despite all this mess) and said that everyone around her is so pleased that she's changed for the better (she used to be MASSIVELY stressed about EVERYTHING).

post by: chuckdarwin at: 06:53 | 10 comments

I'm sorry chuck. You can't fix her, much as you might want to.

posted by essexjan 09 December | 06:56

Thanks, Jan. I gave up on wanting to fix her years ago.

I also don't really think there's anything wrong with her. I think she's lazy and she wants to sponge off my mom... being 'crazy' and having 'chronic pain' are two ways of doing just that.

She convinced her employer to give her paid leave(?!?), so she IS a pretty good actress. So good that I think she's even convinced herself.

This suicide attempt isn't any more 'real' than any of her other prevarications.

posted by chuckdarwin 09 December | 07:11

Hang in there, Chuck.

posted by MonkeyButter 09 December | 11:55

That's terrible news, Chuck. I'm so sorry to hear it.

Anger is a pretty common reaction toward someone who's made a suicide attempt (and toward those who've succeeded). It is exactly as you read it, a bid for attention. The thing is, she does need to find some attention if she's going to stay alive. I understand you're worn out on providing it, so it doesn't have to come from you. Your sister does need medical help, though. She's stumbled badly here, and if everyone washes their hands of it, the outcome may not be what you all want. A suicide attempt doesn't have to be 'real' to be successful.

You can't fix her, it's true. But it does seem like you before you let go of the outcome, there is a minimum ethical response you should offer, as her safety net. You could encourage your mom to steer her toward some emergency help. There are a lot of support networks and suicide prevention programs experienced at dealing with families in this position. Can you do a little research to find your mom a phone number to call and get some understanding and comfort? Maybe call yourself and describe how you're feeling and see what they say is a good course of action? If I knew where you/they lived I'd poke around to see what I can find. Shouldn't take much searching to Google "suicide assistance", "prevention" or "support" with the name of your municipalitie(s). I always think it's great to draw on the experiences of others who have been through exactly what you've been through before.

posted by Miko 09 December | 12:13

Thanks, Miko. It's very helpful of you, and I really value your opinion (nothing against the other bunnies).

My only recourse is to try and persuade my mother to see reason... as my friend D just said "any normal parent would've taken her to hospital".

The fact that my sister has so much control over mom is troubling, and always has been. This attempt was a cry for attention, and it seems to have failed.

I fear that you're correct; she may succeed if she isn't sectioned. I have to talk mom into it... I'll try and enlist my brother's help.

posted by chuckdarwin 09 December | 14:05

Everything Miko says is solid advice. To that, I can only add: take good care of yourself, and absolutely feel free to vent here. It's great to have a safe place to do that, isn't it?

Be well.

posted by Elsa 09 December | 15:00

Take care, chuckdarwin. I hope it will be okay.

posted by halonine 09 December | 16:57

Sorry that you and your family are going through this, chuckdarwin. I couldn't say it better than Miko if I tried. Good luck to you. I hope she gets the help that she needs--whether or not it was a 'cry for attention', attempting suicide is a desperate act. And yes, do feel free to vent here, of course. It's one of the things I think MetaChat does well.

posted by elizard 09 December | 19:32

They're just waiting for some shrink to tell them what to do again... but I feel sure the attempt won't be mentioned.

It was a power play of some sort. Mom is different, and my sister is testing the new boundary. I told her to put that fucking gun beyond reach. Take it down to parts and hide the bullets elsewhere.

posted by chuckdarwin 09 December | 20:04

Miko said it best; I could not add anything better. But I wanted you to know I feel for you, and your concerns for the way your Mom's been treated by your sister, and we're all here to listen if/when you need to vent.

Ooops, in other words: like Elizard said, too.

posted by redvixen 09 December | 20:05

← Thank God. || Three positive developments in the last 24 hours! →

HOME || REGISTER || LOGIN