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08 December 2007

Just got back from hub's office party. OH. Oh MY.[More:]

If one is young and breasteous,and with said breasts ALMOST in the dress one is wearing, and drunk, and employed by the company's lawyer and therefore AT A COMPANY christmas party, it's probably NOT cool to stick said breasts in my husband's general direction and flirt with him while I am sitting RIGHT THERE.

That doesn't look that bad as I have written it. An older gentleman who moonlights as a dirty old man was sitting with us and genially commented to her, "That's a nice dress you're barely wearing." She was too drunk to be offended, and promptly went and gave him a big hug, which I am sure thrilled him to no end. HIS wife was sitting right there too.

Now, I would trust my husband in a room full of nekkid Playboy bunnies, but sheesh.

I do feel sorry for her. The whole table of us was giggling at her. For her sake I hope she doesn't remember anything in the morning.


Oh, and there was dancing. FREAK dancing. I so did not need to see that. AT a company party.

I am officially an old fart.
Boobie-baring? Bumpin'-and-grindin'?

At a corporate Christmas Party?

Oy.

Those people need better outlets for that kind of thing. I mean, if your only release valve for your baser animal nature is the annual Christmas party, where they have to invite you, that's . . . kind of pathetic, actually.

posted by jason's_planet 08 December | 23:26
I dunno. Over perfumed, slightly sweaty, barely salty boobies falling out of Christmas party dresses is one of the only attractions office Christmas parties have had for me, since the 80s...
posted by paulsc 08 December | 23:38
"That's a nice dress you're barely wearing."

I wanna buy that guy a drink.
posted by Brandon1600 09 December | 00:01
Yeah.... great line.

Our office does away with all that. The "office party" is a catered lunch for employees (no spouses). My wife, however, is a high school teacher and her version of the (unofficial) office Christmas party is being hosted by a lesbian couple who are both teachers at the school. I'm kind of looking forward to that (not because of anything sectual, but because I think it will honestly be a good time).
posted by Doohickie 09 December | 01:16
LOL @ paulsc! I was a guest at an office party at a school Friday night. It made me remember why office parties suck!
posted by chewatadistance 09 December | 09:05
You are not an old fart. I'm in my 20s and even in my early 20s would NEVER have gone to the work party with my chest hanging out.[1]
Even last year, when I had a late-date after the office party, I gussied up in the ladies room and put my coat on after so people didn't see the new, improved "hey, lookit THEESE" outfit.


[1]more than it does for work itself since, to be honest, when you're an F cup anything but a turtleneck can look risque and one can only do their best witout ordering $100 shirts from Bravissimo in the UK.
posted by kellydamnit 09 December | 11:40
Well, that's what happens when there's an open bar at the company party.

It was funny. The party was held where my daughter and son-in-law used to work. It's really a pretty fancy place and an excellent place for a formal type party, which this WAS. But with free booze flying plus the dj who switched from mellow jazz stndards to...well, "Fergalicious" was the mildest thing he seemed to be playing. The rest of it just seemed like "Let's go have sex on the dance floor" music.

My personal worst moment was when two drunk females saw me off to the side of the dance floor and insisted I needed to dance and DRAGGED me over and grabbed my HANDS and started waving them around. If they'd been playing YMCA or Achy Breaky Heart or something cute, it would have been fun. But it was, well, not.
posted by bunnyfire 09 December | 14:49
(kellydammit, back in the day I ROCKED the black turtleneck look. Just sayin'. Bet you do too.)
posted by bunnyfire 09 December | 14:50
Thank you, bunnyfire. I feel somewhat better about the really, really good time I had at our company party last week. :) (I am pretty sure I kept my boobs to myself. That's all I'm certain of.)
posted by Savannah 09 December | 15:05
This doesn't sound like a very big d—

Oh, and there was dancing.

Oh heck! Burn her!
posted by cortex 09 December | 16:15
Hey, I'm not a Baptist. *wink* But I do not enjoy seeing people simulate sex on a dance floor. Apparently I don't get out much.
posted by bunnyfire 09 December | 18:12
Heh, this sounds pretty much like our "official" office party will be this Friday night. I've been looking forward to it for months, so I guess I have at least something in common with paulsc ;-)
posted by dg 10 December | 03:52
Pesto week || DownerFilter: Should I tell my mom her friend died?

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