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Hee! Armistead Maupin writes in The Night Listener how his narrator bought a ten gallon hat which wasn't blocked on a boy scout trip....he was called "penishead" for the duration.
Yep, the only way that thing could be improved is if it had flashing lights around the outside, and the lid automatically moved directly up, spinning, and played 'La Cucaracha' whenever someone took a chip.