MetaChat - Today at work,

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16 November 2007

Today at work, my tips amounted to $25 and a pat on the ass.→[More:] Really. This lady had a carload of boxes of books in her car. I dragged a dolly out, loaded it up with the boxes and started dragging it owards the door. As I dragged, she put five bucks in my back pocket and patted me on the butt. She was fiftyish and only average-looking but as a thirty-six year old who wears a name tag I take my flattery where I can find it.

post by: jonmc at: 19:52 | 19 comments

I'll take a pat on the ass any day.

posted by pieisexactlythree 16 November | 19:59

I can think of a couple of co-workers from whom I'd relish a friendly pat on the @$$, not that it'd ever happen.

posted by PaxDigita 16 November | 20:06

Average looking is still pretty good looking while average intelligence is low.

posted by ethylene 16 November | 20:07

Where'd the other 20 come from?

posted by chewatadistance 16 November | 20:11

Regulars with big loads.

posted by jonmc 16 November | 20:14

Today I was in a meeting with about twelve other managers and technicians. I mentioned that I had made it possible for them to achieve their goals, on-time and with less money.

They then lined me up against the conference table and groped every inch of my frame, and I swear to God I could taste at least three different toppings in my mouth after the make-out session had expired.

posted by Lipstick Thespian 16 November | 20:47

Was one of them caramel. I love caramel.

posted by jonmc 16 November | 20:50

i'll happily molest someone willing to bring me booze and cigarettes right now.

posted by ethylene 16 November | 21:12

eth, my life experience has led me to conclude that I am sexually attractive to alcoholics, women on buses, the mildly mentally disabled, gay men and women over 50. Don't ask me why. But that's quite a peanut gallery.

posted by jonmc 16 November | 21:16

So, did you meet Pips on a bus?

posted by kyleg 16 November | 21:27

I met pips at work. The woman on a bus was some chick who yelled 'hey sexy' and blew a kiss at me out abus window as I walked down a street in New Haven on my way to work. Since, at the time, I looked like Sasquatch on meth, I assume she did it on a dare.

(the women I've dated are a diffrent story. There I'm an 'a for effort' guy, I guess. I'm talking about spontaneous reactions here)

posted by jonmc 16 November | 21:31

When I was young and was waitressing at a Raleigh country club, I had my hands full with platters, going downstairs into a clubroom. One of the older members, a nice doctor, was going upstairs. He was a wee bit tipsy and in a move totally uncharacteristic of him when sober, slapped me right on the caboose. I thought it was funny at the time. Actually, still do.

Now that I am older and married, I have had three different guys I am NOT married to just up and kiss me on the head for no reason. (One was 79, but still.) I have to figure it's because I am short, but if anyone else has theories I sure as heck would like to hear them, because it weirds me out a little.

posted by bunnyfire 16 November | 21:36

Oh, jonmc, I am not over fifty yet (less than thirteen months to go) but my theory is you look like you need tending. Not that Pips doesn't tend you well, but I think you do bring out the mothering instinct, so to speak.

posted by bunnyfire 16 November | 21:39

Actually, I'm in the opposite camp, bunny. I'm a scrawny homely thirty six year old guy with a nametag around his neck. I'm more or less invisible most of the time. When stuff like this does happen, it's a kick, although a bit mystifying.

posted by jonmc 16 November | 21:40

bunny, the 'over 50' women were when I was a salesman. When I pitched, they would blatantly flirt, but only the over 50 ones.

posted by jonmc 16 November | 21:41

A cute tushie is a cute tushie, I says. : )

posted by Pips 16 November | 23:51

Where'd the other 20 come from?

Regulars with big loads.

Ew.

posted by chococat 16 November | 23:52

You missed her signal. That was five dollars to buy her a MeFi membership. As for the other twenty dollars... same as in town.

posted by wendell 17 November | 00:01

I have people hold doors for me, even when I'm twenty feet away, usually students. I am 41 and 6'6 (was 6'7). The effect is that it forces me to rush up the stairs with the piles of crap I am usually carrying around, and is annoying, so I have taken to saying, "I'm ok, thanks." I can open doors with my feet. I should be a test monkey.

But no butt patting, although older women like to straighten my clothing and I sense they have the urge to muss my hair, but that could be a motherly thing, as opposed to cougar prowl-age.

posted by craniac 17 November | 00:40

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