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30 October 2007

AskMecha: Halloween treats for apartment buildings I want to make tasty tasty homemade cookies and/or cupcakes to hand out tomorrow to the sweet little chidders in our apartment building. What are the odds that my delicious homemade treats will actually get eaten, instead of being x-rayed for razor blades and dipped in strange chemical solutions to test for LSD? This is in L.A. [More:]

I can, of course, go buy some horrible mass-produced chocolate, but my inner culinarian screams at that. I assume it would *only* be kids from the apartment, as there's a lock on the front (so the parents would all know the stuff came from me). I'm not friends with any of the parents or anything, but I'm on nodding acquaintance with several people in the building. I don't look like a serial killer.
I think it would be fine. I would probably let my children eat goodies made by a person in the building. Maybe I'm crazy, but I probably would.
posted by LoriFLA 30 October | 19:24
One thing to keep in mind is to prepare something that you can wrap in cellophane or some other wrapper. If the kids are trick-or-treating they may not be able to carry handle a messy cupcake. A cookie or a brownie might be a better bet than cupcakes with frosting.
posted by LoriFLA 30 October | 19:28
I would, too, although my children are imaginary, and therefore have much stronger constitutions than "real" children.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero 30 October | 19:28
In tribute to mullac I'd suggest none cookies with left chocolate chips.

But seriously, how about toffee apples? The kind on a stick. You can see the fruit through the toffee, and apples are in season and quite good for you.
posted by GeckoDundee 30 October | 19:36
Do kids come by at Halloween? At my apartment, the parents took all the kids to a neighborhood with houses; I bought a bunch of candy and had to eat it all myself.
posted by muddgirl 30 October | 19:40
When I have kids, I'm going to let them eat only the homemade cookies and candies just to mock the other parents.

GeckDundee: thx u for the lulz
posted by mullacc 30 October | 19:54
wrap them in plastic wrap and put on a sticker that says, "Made with care by your neighbor, fuzzbean."

Problem solved.
posted by plinth 30 October | 19:57
If I had kids, I would toss out anything homemade unless I knew you and knew that you made it.
posted by amro 30 October | 20:14
If you have any name & address stickers, that would help. Add your phone number. Many parents have seen crazy news pieces about HORRIBLE MUTILATING CHILD-KILLING Halloween treats. It would be very wrong if your lovingly made, tasty baked goods get thrown out. Better yet, send them to me.
posted by theora55 30 October | 20:16
Why DON'T you put LSD in your homemade cookies? That's the best kind!
posted by wendell 30 October | 20:22
I think that to maximize the probability children will eat your cupcakes, you should put tags on them that say "EAT ME." These will entice the children. Such tags will not frighten parents.

Also, you should answer the door dressed as the Queen of Hearts, or as a duchess holding a squealing piglet dressed in baby clothes.

... And you should add some sort of potion to your cupcakes, a potion that will make children either shrink to tiny little things or grow into hideous giants. Yes.
posted by brina 30 October | 23:37
In the 70s even, I was forbidden from eating anything that wasn't wrapped or didn't come from someone my mum knew and saw put it in there. My only suggestion is to 3rd the address label idea, and make sure the parents know it's from you when you give it to them.

brina: speak roughly to your little boy, and beat him when he sneezes. He only does it to annoy, because he knows it teases.
posted by elizard 31 October | 01:23
Just make sure your treats are clearly labelled "poisoned" or "not poisoned". That should be enough to allay any parent's fears.
posted by Atom Eyes 31 October | 10:07
The myth of Halloween bogeymen and bogeywomen might never have been exposed had not a sociologist named Joel Best... established in a scholarly article in 1985 that there has not been a single death or serious injury. He uncovered a few incidents where children received minor cuts from sharp objects in their candy bags, but the vast majority of reports turned out to be old-fashioned hoaxes, sometimes enacted by young pranksters, other times by parents hoping to make money in lawsuits or insurance scams.

Ironically, in the only two known cases where children apparently did die from poisoned Halloween candy, the myth of the anonymous, sadistic stranger was used to cover up the real crime. In the first incident family members sprinkled heroin on a five-year-old’s Halloween candy in hopes of fooling the police about the cause of the child’s death. Actually, the boy had found and eaten heroin in his uncle’s home. In the second incident a boy died after eating cyanide-poisoned candy on Halloween, but police determined that his father had spiked the candy to collect insurance money. Bill Ellis, a professor of English at Penn State University, has commented that both of these incidents, reported in the press at first as stranger murders, "reinforced the moral of having parents examine treats-ironically, because in both cases family members were responsible for the children’s deaths!"

Yet if anonymous Halloween sadists were fictitious creatures, they were useful diversions from some truly frightening realities, such as the fact that far more children are seriously injured and killed by family members than by strangers. Halloween sadists also served in news stories as evidence that particular social trends were having ill effects on the populace. A psychiatrist quoted in the New York Times article held that Halloween sadism was a by-product of "the permissiveness in today’s society." The candy poisoner him- or herself was not directly to blame, the doctor suggested. The real villains were elsewhere. "The people who give harmful treats to children see criminals and students in campus riots getting away with things," the Times quoted him, "so they think they can get away with it, too."

Introduction to the Culture of Fear

Urban Legends cites one case of a stranger putting pins in Halloween candy in 2000.

Statistically speaking,the danger children face at the hands of strangers on Halloween night is a myth while the danger they face every night and day at home from parents and kin is, statistically speaking, very real. But they never have Daddy Danger, Crazy Uncle or Mommy Monster classes in kindergarten, for some reason.
posted by y2karl 31 October | 21:05
So I should have put all that on a label on the cookies. :)

I ended up buying some supermarket candy, and THEN I ended up going to see Nightmare Before Christmas in IMAX 3D instead of waiting at home (although we didn't leave until 7.15 and no one came by before then, so I assume in LA kids don't trick-or-treat around apartments).
posted by Fuzzbean 01 November | 09:53
MeCha singalong: Too hot to handle, too cold to hold || Penis and the Poo-Poo Kitty!

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