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22 October 2007

I'm so lame I need advice about a boy. Yes, I'm mentally fourteen.→[More:]

So I can't make coffee to save my life. Sad but true. Also bizarre, since I'm a fine cook in all other regards. Anyhow, I buy coffee basically every day from this teeny tiny cafe across the street from me.
Well, yesterday I met the afternoon barista for the first time. And he's cute as hell. And we talked for almost an hour about all sorts of things while just standing around. Coffee, a building we'd both once lived in, city politics, life, all sorts of things. Early on we both discovered we were married very young and talked about how people react to you when you're 30ish and already have the first marriage over and done.

So yeah, I'd say we hit it off. And I think he was flirting with me, but I'm a spazz about such things.

So I went to get coffee this afternoon (I took a "bad ankle day"), and hoped to see him- not in yet. Debating going back later on to grab another cup, and bring a cookbook I own he said he'd love to take a look at, but I don't know if that would seem, well, crazy and creepy. Moreso since I don't know if he even works today, since he joked he only works there a couple days a week to keep himself in free coffee.

post by: kellydamnit at: 15:25 | 14 comments

If it was me, I'd manage run into him one more time, THEN bring the cookbook. You might also ask him next time when he'll be back, because you want to loan him that book. That gives you an "in" to find out about his schedule.

posted by BoringPostcards 22 October | 15:32

Wait to bring him the book until you see him again. If there's some of nice warmth between you still, chat him up, and then on your way out say: "Oh hey, I'm bring that cook book you wanted to see. When are you working again?"

posted by Specklet 22 October | 15:34

He's probably required by his employer to be genial and he's probably also a people person, but if he's not interested, the cookbook idea could put him in an uncomfortable position.

Instead, invite him out of his milieu. Ask him out.

Probably not for coffee, though.

posted by plinth 22 October | 15:34

Or, um, what BP said. Great minds think alike!

posted by Specklet 22 October | 15:34

I speak English very good. "I'm bring that cook book" should have read as "I want to bring that cook book". Also, you're totally not lame.

posted by Specklet 22 October | 15:37

I would not have come up with the advice that Specklet and BP did on my own, but now that I read it, I agree with it.

Though I would totally go with "I'm bring that cook book." It will give you an air of mystery.

posted by occhiblu 22 October | 15:38

plinth, I would think just that but we talked long enough for me to finish my coffee, he got me another for free, and basically carried most of the conversation. I'm usually oblivious, or assume the worst, so I figure if I left thinking he was really, really obviously enjoying talking to me and not just being work-polite, that was most likely the case.
But then, it could just be neighbor-polite, since Allentown is like a small town in many regards, despite being part of a larger city.

BP and Specklet, good plan!

posted by kellydamnit 22 October | 15:44

Wait, I said "some of nice warmth"? What's wrong with me?! I meant "some of that nice warmth"!

I'm going to stop typing and go sit in the corner now. Good luck with the barista.

posted by Specklet 22 October | 15:45

I would give it another day or two, maybe. I once blew it (with a cute barista) by following up too fast, being too "avid."

And wait on the book until a few more encounters.

posted by danf 22 October | 16:01

Ooh, I'm really happy for you! Was it Coffe Spot on Elmwood? All the staff there seemed really nice...

posted by pieisexactlythree 22 October | 17:09

I hope it isn't this

posted by birdherder 22 October | 17:30

birderner, no, that was the barista I had encountered. kellydammit's barista is the real deal.

posted by danf 22 October | 17:34

well, I hope so, at least. Now I wonder if it was just politeness. But I'm a paranoid person.
It wasn't anyone at spot. It was at the tiny place near Allen and Elmwood, next to the sweet shop.

posted by kellydamnit 22 October | 22:36

The reason why I bring up politeness is the ultimate reason why hitting on waitresses never did me any good: they're paid to be nice to the customers, but not too nice. Plus, for waitresses at least, getting hit on happens so often it's part of the noise.

You could try simply, "If you'd like to go out sometime, I'd love to go out." Take him to a park for a walk and enjoy the foliage, while it lasts.

Oh - and have fun!

posted by plinth 23 October | 05:28

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