I swear, I didn't intend to steal those wipes (caution: poo story) →[More:]I took the kids out shopping today so that Mrs. Plinth could do yard work. Costco offers double seat shopping carts so I could perch both kids while stocking up on diapers, wipes, fat pants, toilet paper and so on.

Then I took them to the grocery store, which has a monitored play area for kids. I signed in Alice and went about shopping with Stuart. Then I got the dreaded full store page. Gah. I beelined to the care center and apparently Alice had pooped. Oh and the pager they gave me never went off. I had a diaper bag out in the car, could I leave Stuart here while I grabbed it? Oh NO NO NO NO NO! We're not licensed for babies. Crap. OK, so I leave the cart, grab him and went out to the car. On the way, I checked him because if you're gonna change diapers, you might as well get them both. Sure enough, he crapped himself too (his third time today).

No big - I check the diaper bag and discover that there are no wipes at all. No big - I just bought some from Costco, so I checked the trunk and sure enough, I totally failed to buy wipes at Costco. It's a grocery store, so I went back in with the diaper bag and Stuart and grabbed a box off the shelf then went back to the cart and Alice, put Stuart in the cart and walked them both to the men's room, which thankfully had a changing table.

I strapped Stuart down and did a standing-up change of poopy Pull-Ups maneuver and got Alice clean and changed. Then worked on Stuart, while having to stop every 45 seconds to remind Alice to not go put her hand into the urinal. Washed up and left.

Put Alice back into the care center and discovered that I had lost the shopping list and proceeded to try to run it from memory (did OK).

Checked out and headed out to the car and realized that I had left the open container of wipes I fully intended to pay for on top of the changing table in the men's room. Ah well, some other man's bonus, but I swear, I really did not intend to steal the wipes.