MetaChat - Online dating serenity prayer

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12 October 2007

Online dating serenity prayer This week I've been messaging a rather promising Lava lad who wrote a clever AA member introduction speech parody for his profile. Inspired by this, when he messaged me I included an online dating serenity prayer in my reply.

→[More:]Dear whatever powers that may be, give me the serenity to stay active on online dating sites despite getting messaged by geriatrics, married people, people who don't seem to know how to use the shift key, people whose first question is when do I want to have kids, and people who think they're describing themselves when they say they love to laugh; the courage to reply to people who haven't yet proved to be any of the above but may yet do so; and the wisdom to block the real crazies. Amen.

post by: Orange Swan at: 11:35 | 8 comments

I got one the other day that said:

i have to say hi to you because i think you're cute...and look at the chart....i can't believe how we match up!! plz don't think i'm a freak. i 've just never had an equal match like that before!! If you're up to it take a look at our table and let me know what you think!! take care!!!

Oh, to be so, um, innocent -- to believe so fully in some online dating site's "chart" that you are convinced that you've finally found The One.

posted by mudpuppie 12 October | 11:41

suggested puppie response:

OMG, you are surely my one and only, truly to be my betrothed, for the Chart has foretold it. I bid thee, leave thy parents' home, and sell all your worldly goods, and come unto me; for the Chart has spoken, and the Chart shall not be denied!!1! Yours everlasting, pup

posted by Miko 12 October | 11:49

Well, that'd be fun and all, but I'm afraid that it might actually work, and that's the last thing I want to happen.

posted by mudpuppie 12 October | 11:52

Good luck, good luck to both of you.

We all love to bitch about online dating, but personally, I wish it had been around my whole life. Having a script/schema for the initial interaction is a vast comfort to an awkward person like myself.

posted by Miko 12 October | 11:56

Wow. I'd really like to try online dating. Hey, Boyfriend? Mind if I dump you for, say, two weeks? I'll meet a bunch of crazies on the interweb, go on awful dates with them, and then come home to you and love you even better than I did before. What say you?

posted by brina 12 October | 12:45

I've said it before, and I'll say it again--I met my wife via my online ad that read, in its entirety, thus:

Every time you answer someone else's personal ad, God kills a kitten. Tall urban hipster urges you to please, think of the kittens.

posted by mrmoonpie 12 October | 15:43

In an ad long ago, I once listed, among my talents, "the ability to accurately spit into a storm drain whilst speeding by in my bike." You can imagine how they came flocking.

OK you try it then get back to me with your updated "impressedness."

posted by danf 12 October | 16:19

I have no luck dating: online, offline, make-pretend. Someone want to buy me a boyfriend? Tall please, brown eyes. I can make do with just about anything else.

posted by crush-onastick 12 October | 16:32

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