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01 October 2007

The slow ebb of printed pornography This is about a small disappointment to my employers.
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Due to lawyer concerns, we will not be publishing the hardcore three-way shots of Kim Kardashian, her sister, and some dude, that I just saw.

A DARK DAY FOR HUMANITY.

(Also, our "Movie Mammaries" section cannot include any sex scenes, due to similar concerns).

2257 requirements suck!

post by: klangklangston at: 13:44 | 34 comments

Who the hell is Kim Kardashian?

posted by jonmc 01 October | 13:46

Do the pics include incestuous couplings, or just sisters gobbling the same schwanz?

posted by Hugh Janus 01 October | 13:51

"Who the hell is Kim Kardashian?"

Paris Hilton's new BFF, daughter of one of the OJ lawyers. Hottie.

To Hugh: They seem to make out a bit, but it's mostly for the guy's benefit.

posted by klangklangston 01 October | 13:56

Most famous for her huge badonkadonk. Rumored to have ass implants.

posted by iconomy 01 October | 14:01

oh jesus christ

posted by matteo 01 October | 14:02

(I actually find her extremely hot, despite my best efforts not to)

posted by matteo 01 October | 14:02

Ah, that sucks, klangklangston; I dig abominations.

posted by Hugh Janus 01 October | 14:03

oh well whatever. Just post em here.
It's cool, I'll wait...

posted by Hellbient 01 October | 14:06

matteo: I fucking concur.

Aside from Kim's badonkadonk, there's another extremely large body part featured in her sex tape that is quite astonishing.

posted by mullacc 01 October | 14:07

Oh.

In more exciting news, it's fall, which means Mellowcreme Pumpkins are on sale again. Also, I managed to find both a copy of Denny McClain's autobiography and Two Of The Missing by Perry Deane Young, in the dollar carts the other day.

posted by jonmc 01 October | 14:09

*imagegoiogles "Kim Kardashian"*

Bleah. God, I hate fake tits.

posted by jonmc 01 October | 14:13

If TPS had been keeping up with her podcast, I might know about some of this. . .

posted by danf 01 October | 14:15

hey lady, nice cartoon butt
≡ Click to see image ≡

posted by Hellbient 01 October | 14:17

Bleah. God, I hate fake tits.

I knew we'd find some common ground eventually.

posted by chuckdarwin 01 October | 14:48

hellbient, that is the most ridiculous arse on the planet. Tell me that's photoshopped.

posted by chuckdarwin 01 October | 14:49

I'm sorry, danf, I'm sorry! ::drowns in shame::

I hate Kim Kardashian because she's a liar. Really, that's all it ever comes down to-I hate liars. You can be a fame whore, you can make sex tapes for publicities, you can get ass implants, you can make out with your own damn sister, but do not lie to me! Do not write articles for Glamour magazine about you're just a poooooor victim of all this madness.

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 01 October | 15:03

her tits and ass alone are lies.
chuck d - if it's Photoshopped, I didn't do it.
Possible words for ludicrous backsides:
Ridunkadunk.
Hilairrière.

posted by Hellbient 01 October | 15:09

"You can be a fame whore, you can make sex tapes for publicities, you can get ass implants, you can make out with your own damn sister, but do not lie to me!"

In fact, I endorse making sex tapes, getting ass implants and making out with your own damn sister.

posted by klangklangston 01 October | 15:12

I endorse making sex tapes, getting ass implants

Me too, but only get one implant. I like it when people do things half-assed.

posted by jonmc 01 October | 15:13

Know what would be totally hot? New fetish alert: If she got implants from her sisters parts.
Hey guys, I got some of my sister's butt in my lips, that way I'm constantly kissing her ass! Ooo!

posted by Hellbient 01 October | 15:50

She had ASS implants?

Jeebus. . .I could have contributed some lard from mine. . she didn't even ask!

posted by danf 01 October | 16:11

Having been successful so far in resisting the temptation to use my awesome body for monetary gain, I cannot condone attempts by others to do so without sneering in contempt.

posted by craniac 01 October | 16:38

Ridunkadunk.
Hilairrière.

You're a fucking star for coming up with those. RIDUNKADUNK!

Know what would be totally hot? New fetish alert: If she got implants from her sisters parts.

Hey guys, I got some of my sister's butt in my lips, that way I'm constantly kissing her ass! Ooo!

Do you remember the story about those brothers? Supposedly, they went to Mexico and had some surgeon graft one brother's arm onto the other brother (so he had three). It was fake, right?

posted by chuckdarwin 01 October | 16:46

Heh...
Yeah I remember those dudes. That was some early internet shit there. Yeah, totally fake, but I remember it managed to freak me out for a minute or two.

posted by Hellbient 01 October | 16:59

"Know what would be totally hot? New fetish alert: If she got implants from her sisters parts."

The other day, we got a letter that requested:

"Female only hermaphrodites. Lesbians. Heterosexuals. Males animal with female clone human. Contest assets cheeks moneys?"

It read like that little bit of text people used to put on pages to game search engines.

And it ended with this:

"P.S. Beware against adversaries enemies neurotic alien brain beings invadors. UNDERSTAND!"

There are no new fetishes, but I'd never seen someone request clones before.

posted by klangklangston 01 October | 17:34

klang: I used to work at a newsstand in New Haven with a fairly large porn section. One day a guy came in and bought a copy of the current issue of Juggs, one of Tail Ends, and one of Lips.

I assume the guy sat at home with an exacto-knife and scotch tape in some FrankenPorn attempt at building the perfect jerkoff object.

posted by jonmc 01 October | 17:38

Paris Hilton's new BFF

This abbreviation was used on AskMe last week but I didn't want to derail. What the heck is a BFF?

posted by Mitheral 01 October | 17:40

Mitheral: Best Friend Forever. Haven't you ever signed a yearbook?

Jon: I admire a man with the broad tastes that would seem to indicate.

posted by klangklangston 01 October | 17:42

I'm terrified of clicking on the Lips link. All I can think if some sort of yawning chasm of doom.

posted by chuckdarwin 01 October | 17:53

Those better be ass implants. If not, they're going to be frightening when they stop defying gravity.

posted by CKmtl 01 October | 18:45

One day a guy came in and bought a copy of the current issue of Juggs, one of Tail Ends, and one of Lips.

Was it Mr. PotatoHead?

posted by jrossi4r 01 October | 20:31

Nah, he beats off to pictures of of Army privates peeling spuds.

posted by jonmc 01 October | 20:37

Heh!

We should market a Mr. PorntatoHead. You could put together some Kardashian ass, Scarlet Johannsen's lovely rack, one of those generic hairless starlet coochies...

It would totally be a best seller, provided we make it pocket sized.

posted by jrossi4r 01 October | 20:44

Haven't you ever signed a yearbook?

Well it's been a couple decades. Even then, only the seriously uncool would be caught writing BBS-speak at the time.

posted by Mitheral 01 October | 22:13

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