Traffic signals are lost on some people.... Here's the story of a guy named Rick, whom I used to work with when we were teenagers, and the amusement he afforded me. →[More:]

Rick wasn't a bad guy at all, but he wasn't the swiftest contestant in the race. I heard one story about a time when he ran a red light in the little town where we lived when there was a police cruiser parked right across the road from him. The cop pulled him over, naturally, and Rick airily told him, "Oh, I always ignore that stoplight."

One time when we were working together, he asked me how my love life was. I said, "Oh, it's orgasmic." He blinked, and asked me what that meant. I explained, and he said, "Huh. Hey. That's pretty good. I have to use that."

A few minutes later someone else came into the area where we were working, and Rick gave me a "C'mon, set me up" look, so I obligingly said, "So Rick, how's your love life?"

He said, very proudly, "It's organic!"