Wow.

Thanks, that's the best laugh I've had in a couple days. I just wonder what book he was "using". The latest Ann Coulter, perhaps?

That's hilarious!

I hope you feel better soon.

Oh HJ, huge hugs, whatever about the frustrated, angry and sad................ there is no bad. the situation my be bad to be in, but you're clearly not.

and I say that with the authority of someone who knows your screen presence only, ;)

but I think here we have an instinct for the regulars, and you're pure GOOD!
{{{{Hugs}}}}

Sounds like he was "using" the idea of leaving his spunk in a public place. I bet he didn't even know the title.

Maybe he was helping to research the perfect breast size.

Frustrated, angry, sad, and bad.

Bad? No, no, no, no. You are not the bad guy. Not by a long shot.

Those people who are keeping you stuck in the temp trap -- now, they're the ones who should be feeling bad.

Thanks for the funny story. Hope you are feeling better soon.

I don't understand why the police were called in. He went to the business section and did his business. Was he supposed to pay up front, first?

What is it about buildings that house the printed word and dudes jerking the gherkin? Public libraries always get their share...

**



Seriously, if there's anything I can do for you... you know where to find me.

As I was walking through the store, avoiding making a statement to the police, I heard a voice over the loudspeaker say, "Maintenance to Business. Maintenance to the Business section, please."

Poor sap.

I'll feel better soon I'm sure; I'm just upset about my friend's cat's death, my friend's own grief, and about the cigarette smoking (my own included) that most likely helped speed her demise. Plus I'm bummed about the speed and weight of others' judgment added to the devastation caused by parental mistakes, as if parents in these situations need anyone to tell them they fucked up -- in case you don't know, they don't; I'm cranky about the circling of the wagons and downright nastiness even the most outwardly egalitarian of us are prone to, and our basic inability to send and receive our thoughts in a way that keeps them true, or effective, or accurate, especially in a format and arena where disagreement is usually, for the sake of form and position, categorical, and percents are measured in multiples of 100.

I feel pretty broke down. I usually disappear about now, until I feel better. Please pardon my crank.

I have a friend who while in college worked at a busy, large B&N located right downtown.

This kind of happens far, far more often than you'd care to believe.

Lightning penis! Bitch Target! Masturbating Barnes & Noble! I'm starting to wonder if I missed the memo stating today was the one-upmanship contest.

Whenever I start thinking that I've seen the grossest thing I'll ever see in NYC, something tops it. The last time I thought this while I was walking out of the subway station in Union Square, I came upon a goth girl vomiting on the ground.

Um, I found a porno magazine hidden behind some books in the 378's today.

Maybe he was helping to research the perfect breast size.

I resemble that remark

I worked at a B&N, and while no one pulled down their pants in an aisle, many similar things happened in our store (like the serial seat pee-er).

they say that a sure fire cure for feeling depressed is to learn something. I'm not sure what you learned here except that perhaps the world of business books is sexier than previously imagined.

Sorry about the kitty. Animals deaths are tragic, every one.

I have to think that this happens far less at independent book stores.

Hugs for Hugh!!!

Well, danf, we do get our fair share of wankers, for the record.

This sort of begs the question. .why do people do it where they are not supposed to/may get in trouble? Is that transgression part and parcel of the thrill?

I was talking to someone who is also married, and we agreed than having a spouse and kids in the house tends to mediate against those kinds of activities, and, while one would not trade their present life for anything, one tends to miss those kinds of activities.

But I can't believe that a guy would go into Barnes and Noble and jerk off into a book in the business section because of lack of a more suitable venue.

While I worked in an indy, it never happened, but then again, our store wasn't that big and the bathroom wasn't in the shop itself.

I worked in several different bookstores. The large store that was part of a small chain had many such stories. We had a row of porn mags, which contributed to bad behavior.

HJ, sorry things are feeling so bleak. I'm having a bleak patch myself, and then thought "Bunnies! I needs me some bunnies; they'll cheer me up!" You're not quite all alone.

I want to know what business book he was using. I can't imagine which one would be that stimulating, but the Basel accords are out of my league, so who knows.

You so made that story up, but I love ya for it.

(I once saw this on a t-shirt: it's judgmental to judge the judgmental. Makes yur head hurt dunt it.)

"Stop that man! He was masturbating in the business section!"

It's the inclusion of in the business section that makes this truly awesome.

Yeah, if he was masturbating in the "lifestyle" section, it would have been fine.

that new Alan Greenspan book sure sounds interesting!

It's the inclusion of in the business section that makes this truly awesome.

And once more scody anticipates what I was planning to say, word for word.