Ha! I made a blog post like this for my birthday.

--People chewing gum annoy me. Particularly - oh how this pisses me off - young women at weddings, all dressed up, chew chew chewing, like a damned cow.

--My back hurts.

--I need to write everything down, in case I forget stuff.

--I don't understand why people are interested in reality TV "stars".

--I want to scrub the makeup off young girls' faces, and pull up young boys' pants.

--The OB-GYN fellows that I work with, who are on call delivering babies and suchlike all the time, are younger than me.

--People have stopped asking me "how old?" when they find out it's my birthday, because all of a sudden, they might be pushing sensitive buttons.

--People have stopped joking that it must be my 18th birthday (although I still look young, IMO).

--After a few beers last night, the thought of doing so again tonight makes me feel tired.

-Who the hell is Veronica whoever with the nude photos and why should I care?

Veronica? Do you mean Vanessa? ;)

You guys are living in my head. It's weird, suddenly living in a world of back pain, measured drinking, and constant bemusement at how goddamned stupid all those college kids look in those goddamned silly haircuts.

These high-waist pants are so comfy!

I am--for the first time ever--older than most of my friends. It's the weirdest damn thing ever. Not much older, a couple years at most, but I'm so accustomed to being the youngest person in the room, it's like I'm constantly hitting a mental reset button.

iconomy: exactly my point.

Also, staying up past midnight is just unthinkable these days. Sleeping past 8 am makes me feel like a lazy slob.

We now sometimes have interns at work who are young enough to be my children. *choke*

My brother-in-law and I where discussing this the other day, and the way pretty young girls look at you in public, the three stages:

1) look, and smile

2) look, and eyes move on

3) eyes sweep right over as if you are completely invisible

Struggling to stay out of #3.

-- My blood has thickened to the consistency of loose scree.

-- My hammer, Mjølnir, grows heavier with every throw.

-- I sleep for months at a stretch, and when I awaken, turgid and thirsty, I find my sanctuary overrun with Svartálfar and their offspring.

-- Every night after feasting on stout Sæhrímnir with the Einherjar, I blow my nose; the output fills and refills the icy lake known as Vänern.

-- Three long winters come and my people fight amongst themselves over nothing; the wolves Sköll and Hati gain ground on limping Sól and her brother Máni; a fortnight past, the red cock Fjalar crowed to the giants and the golden cock Gullinkambi crowed to the Gods; it is only a matter of time before the rust-red cock of Hel crows the dead to their feet; Surtr will soon burn the nine worlds and himself, destroying all manner of life, and the earth will sink into the sea.

-- Though the final battle has not begun, I feel the venom of Jörmungandr burning into my heart.

-- Yes, I feel old, but my pain is eased to know that Idavoll survives eternal, and the descendants of Lif and Lifthrasir will gambol in her dewy vale.

Yeah. Just about everyone seems to be younger than me. Doctors (they give children lisences to practice medicine now?) and police types and people getting famous. Hell, people getting famous are young enough to be my kids. Some of my friends, who are well into their twenties, are young enough to be my kids.

I have to check my compulsion to talk about "now" vs "then" when with said young people.

People who have never heard of, or have only vague ideas about, things that were once considered pivotal cultural/social moments.

Goddam bands recycling stuff that was better the first time around.

Erm.

My back doesn't hurt though.

Um. If I could only have the tiniest bit of plastic surgery to lift my falling jaw line, I would actually look relatively fabulous.

Just this week I finally gave in to dying my hair after deciding the number of beautifully silver "gray" hairs was just making the whole hair effect way too cool and ashy for my complexion.

That 10 or 15 pounds

My concentration sucks... but it may have more to do with internet effect than old age. Just not sur....

Today is the first time in two or three weeks that my left hand didn't ache. I don't know why it was aching - I don't do anything with my left hand. So I attribute it to age.

Mostly, I need to recover my flexibility. I squatted down (with knees together) to pick something up the other day, and felt a momentary panic that I wouldn't be able to rise without holding onto something (and there was nothing to hold onto). This is scarybad. This must be corrected.

Otherwise, I feel excellent. And I'm older than all of you. (pretty much)

On preview, what Hugh Janus said.

I don't know but I bought a really neat t-shirt that was, sadly, only printed on American Apparel shirts and when I got it, it turned out to be on a "pre-distressed" shirt. People actually want to pay $20 for new shirts that look years old, with holes in them. It's kind of baffling, really.

What Hugh said. The new Valkyrie have no sense of decorum and their clothes are woeful to my eyes. Fortunately, I can still drink most of them under the table and take my pick of young warriors. Ha!

Ummm. . .yeah taz, you were born in 1912, right? I'd say you look right skippy.

There is a gentleman in my cast ten years my junior. I can't stop staring at his abs, etc. while he effortlessly un-itunes-es my music files and such. I believe he pities me.

We had a health screening at work and I rationalized my body fat percentage being an oonch high by graduating myself into the next age group with different allowances.

And what Hugh said.

i keep forgetting i'm apparently suppose to be obsessed with aging and freaking out about it until people younger than me go on about being obsessed with aging and are freaking out about it and people older than me are obsessed with age and are freaking out about it--

i don't know about being old but it all makes me tired.
It sneaks up on me and slaps me in the face occasionally, but it's all the same old disgust with the broad mediocrities and pointless consistencies of people who don't know why they are doing whatever they are doing, and more of a need to just get away from it before people want explanations on why i sigh and turn away.

Those who would like to comfort me in my old age and ease my elder pains apparently so great i have blanked them from my conscious mind, feel free to apply and send much cash as i know that will give me the means to feel far more young and carefree.

-I have designated funeral wear.
-It takes a lot longer for my hair to get greasy.
-I have a chin hair.
-I've stopped worrying about breakouts and am willing to slather myself with fricking Crisco if it will stop my skin from wrinkling.
-My parents are old people.
-My cellphone confuses me. (It's so poorly designed! It's neither consistent nor intuitive.)
-I find that, more and more, I'd rather just stay home.

My great uncle has always referred to my sisters and I as "The Valkyries," as the five of us are tall and blonde. (Except me. I'm the runt.) "Ride of the Valkyries" is my dad's ringtone.

I feel the same... except I'm 22.

People always told me to not "grow up so fast", I couldn't stomach it.

I have no lack for sources of joy and pleasure in my life, I am relatively successful and very well off compared to most of those in my age bracket who are just wrapping up college and entering an alien field/workforce.

When all my public schooling aquaintances were getting fucked up at keggers, I was pouring sidewalks or repairing historic brick streets around town or working on artistic ventures.
I work full time, have a car and a house, a loving SO, two cats...
I go to bed before 10 and wake up at 6...
I haven't seen an episode of SNL since I was in fifth grade...
One of the last times I went shopping was to a Farm & Tractor Supply store to pick up some Carhartt shorts and pants...

All of these things are positive trends as far as I'm concerned.

I've always felt like I was born in the wrong generation, but that seems like a "hipster" perspective to me so I've avoided it as much as possible... it seems like a thinly veiled excuse for ones lack of local inspiration or drive. Whenever I feel like that I usually dive my head into the sand of a favorite hobby or past time, or a really good book! Although it usually leads me full circle at the conclusion of the activities, it's a horrible attitude to mope around with so I find it best to avoid, or at the very least temporarily postpone!

Oh, let me count the ways...

I'm older than my students' (juniors and seniors) parents.
My students have never heard of M*A*S*H or the Stones.
I need a belly bra.
I fall asleep at seven o'clock.
I like mushy food.
I wear wide shoes.
Strange little dangly moles have sprouted like mushrooms.
I'll eat the same leftovers for a week.
I'll take a longer route to avoid stairs.
Cotton underwear are my friend.
I tell strangers about my gall bladder.
Hot flashes.

(All day I've had this in my head: Enjoy yourself, it's later than you think...)

(someone make it stop)

My god, you people are so much like me sometimes it's fucking scary! The strange thing is that, unless some external source reminds me, I still feel about 30 (or when I try to get up after squatting down, of course ;-).

Like ethylene, I find that It sneaks up on me and slaps me in the face occasionally, such as when I go to a shopping centre on Thursday night and there are all these schoolkids wandering around being loud and abrasive to the point where I just feel like slapping them (not to mention washing the make-up off and pulling up their pants/making them put on a top that covers at least half their boobs).

Actually, it came to me a few months ago that it has been many years since I went to a wedding, but I have been to two funerals of friends in the past two years. I wondered at the time if that is the turning point - The point where you attend more funerals than weddings is where you stop being young.

Sure, my back hurts sometimes, I have this strange ache in my right wrist after lugging heavy timbers around the past couple of weekends, my knee gives me grief for days if I have to stand on the train for an hour, but in my heart I'm still some 30 year-old kid. I'm conflicted, but determined not to go quietly, gracefully surrendering the things of youth, but to fight the inevitable decline as long as I have breath. People sometimes tell me that I should give up racing boats, because I'm a bit old for all that stuff, but it's that stuff that stops me getting old. My standard, glib response is "you don't give up racing because you get old, you get old because you give up racing".

*obligatory comment about lawns and getting off*

I'm dating someone nine years younger than me. We were discussing the OJ Simpson case a while ago, and he mentioned that he was in the 5th grade when it happened--I was a sophomore in college. That made me feel old.

When I read about thisand thought that wouldn't be a bad way to spend an hour. Okay, so I'd hate the Barney songs, but Dolly Parton's version of "I Will Always Love You?" Karen Carpenter? Barry Manilow? Bring 'em on! I'd probably be singing along with most of the songs that judge would play.

- taking so much prescription medicine that I have trouble keeping track of dosages

Why are 1970s aesthetics are back in fashion? They sucked the first time.What the hell is up with the bug-eye sunglasses? They didn't look good on anyone the first time around.

Funny how fashion works that way, plinth. When wedges came out again (yay!) I remember wearing them for my Confirmation at age 14. I had a poncho when I was a pre-teen. I remember being a teen when skinny (REALLY skinny) jeans were in. (In fact, I remember trying to help my friend get a pair she was trying on off - they were stuck on her heel!)
Nowadays, there are lots of kids I work with who weren't even born when I started with my company. The "music" they listen to these days! Why, they don't know good music when they hear it! Things creak and pop when I stand up in the morning; there's something seriously wrong with my left shoulder but I'm dwadling going to the doctor; and I have no patience anymore. Gaah!! Sucks when inside I still feel like I'm in my 20's, and I like myself more at this age than ever before.