Aren't kids great?
/sarcasm

This thread is useless without pictures.

My son (4 yo) sometimes loudly announces to the world "look, my purple sausage is getting straight" and proceeds to show everyone.

Yeah, kids are great. So sweet and loveable.

Don't worry, they get past that phase. Then it becomes, "Hey dad, I just wrecked the car!" :/

HAHAHA. My purple sausage. Excellent turn of a phrase.

Don't worry, they get past that phase. Then it becomes, "Hey dad, I just wrecked the car!" :/

That was my son six months ago. He's been taking the bus since then.

My four-year old is a nut. He'll say things like, "have you ever seen a bum movie?" He then proceeds to bend over and show his naked bum, and says, "Now you have!"

My kids think the word "snot" is an accepted word for describing nasal drainage. It's my fault, because I call it snot. If we're out and about and the four-year old sneezes, he'll say, "mommy, I have snot. I need a tissue."

My oldest asked me the other day why he couldn't move his penis voluntarily. He told me he could move it a little, but not as much as he would like to. Then he said, "wanna see?"

I've been puked on more times than I can remember.

The worst was a couple years ago when my husband had a violent stomach bug. The entire house did, except me of course. I was the puke cleaner-upper. An adult that can't make it to the toilet to puke has something wrong with them. Husband was attempting to run to the bathroom from the bed. On the way he puked all over the bed, floor, up the side of the armoire, on the window blinds, the bathroom floor and rugs, and on the toilet seat. I wanted to kill him. He would have been better off grabbing a bedsheet and puking into it.

Lori - my bedroom is on the second floor. The bathroom is through two doors, down the stairs, through the living room & den, and then into the bathroom. There is NO way I could make it to the toilet. A couple summers ago I got a stomach bug and ended up making it to the litter box in the computer room and the trash can in my bedroom. (The trash can had a plastic liner in it.)

Yeah fbk, I know. Sometimes you can't help it. He obviously couldn't either, but the insensitive side of me thinks he should be shot.

ended up making it to the litter box in the computer room

eponysterical?

You carry a bucket! jeez, people. I vomit way more often than average, binge drinker that I am, and I never puke on furniture. Get a bucket or a big bowl already. Keep it ON the bed when you're that sick.

they get past that phase. Then it becomes, "Hey dad, I just wrecked the car!" :/
Yeah, I've had that call twice now from my eldest daughter. They just keep making you feel all warm and fuzzy inside, don't they, don't they?

Also - buckets would be mandatory to be kept close by for any adult unwell enough for puke to be more than even money. Even my kids know that. I suggest you shoot your husband before he gets sick again.

Heh. This reminds me of the time my parents were visiting me in England for Xmas/New Years when I was spending my junior year over there. I went to a New Years Eve party (with this cute mod boy who, I swear, looked EXACTLY like a young Paul Weller, *swoooon*) and got absolutely shitfaced drunk. Came back in a cab, which my dad cheerfully paid for. "Am I in trouble for being drunk?" I burbled. "Yes," he smiled. "Your punishment is that you have to get up first thing tomorrow morning and spend all new year's day with [family friends], exactly as we planned, no matter how hungover you are. And believe me, honey, you're going to be Pretty. Damn. Hungover."

Boy, he wasn't lying. And you know, I didn't ever pull that stunt with them ever again.

Did you know then that you can get codeine over the counter there? ;-)

Nthing homicide for Mr.Lorifla if he neglects to provide himself with a bucket or bowl next time he's puking....I found out the hard way that one shouldn't use Fizzy Lizzy as a mixer--it was coming out of both ends, but I managed to get to a toilet and drag a wastebasket in front of me.

Oh god, this thread must be put on the front page.

scody, I had a very similar experience when I was 16, but for me it was mandatory play-time in a basketball game the next morning, running up and down the court in a poorly-ventilated gym.