MetaChat - Anybody watching the MTV Video Music Awards?

I came here just to see if you'd posted, Pinkie! I found it sad. Really sad. She looked terrified. I want to fly to Vegas and give her a hug. I was seriously afraid she'd have a nervous breakdown in the middle of the song.

posted by jrossi4r 09 September | 20:20

Poor thing.

posted by bunnyfire 09 September | 20:22

It was horrible. The lip-synching, the ratty extensions, the hair in her face, the robotic but lethargic moves ...oh my god. I actually couldn't watch the whole thing. There were a couple of times when 5 or so seconds would go by and she wasn't "singing" and then all of a sudden she would remember where she was and start up again. Cringeworthy. She was barely moving. I felt sorry for her.

posted by iconomy 09 September | 20:22

Poor thing.

posted by bunnyfire 09 September | 20:24

I wonder if they're going to ask people about it at the post-show, or just pretend like it never happened.

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 09 September | 20:27

The video's up on D-Listed for those who missed it. But don't watch it. It's awkward and sad. I really wanted to be able to make fun of it, but I just can't. I just feel so bad for her.

posted by jrossi4r 09 September | 20:29

But ... I need to watch it on YouTube. I can't believe I MISSED it.

One of my friends said she was lip sync-ing ... out of sync. Is it true?

posted by brina 09 September | 20:34

Britney Spears just sucked, real bad.

Pretty sure I got that as the subject of a spam e-mail recently.

posted by shane 09 September | 20:34

Is everyone 12 years old here?

posted by burhanistan 09 September | 20:36

I'm watching all of her old VMA performances on YouTube now. MAN. Girl could bring it.

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 09 September | 20:38

Britney Spears just sucked, real bad.

Pretty sure I got that as the subject of a spam e-mail recently.

I think there was a video involved, but it really starred Paris Hilton.

Is everyone 12 years old here?
posted by burhanistan 09 September | 20:36

Ehh, it boggles me less than when people slow down to stare at car wrecks.

posted by shane 09 September | 20:40

I wonder if this will affect the release of her record (which supposedly is coming out in November).... Mariah Carey's career survived a breakdown like this, right?

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 09 September | 20:43

Mariah Carey's career survived a breakdown like this, right?

Was she still sleeping with her producer?

Okay, I quit. I only read People and Us in the doctor's waiting room when someone else is reading Rolling Stone or Newsweek (which aren't much better.)

posted by shane 09 September | 20:48

Is everyone 12 years old here?

No. Some of us are 13. Ageist!

posted by iconomy 09 September | 20:49

Is everyone 12 years old here?

You're supposed to mock the thread subtly or covertly. That was a bit blatant.

posted by shane 09 September | 20:51

ONTD has pics of the Brit performance.

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 09 September | 21:10

I wish I could run around in an outfit like that.

Her hair looks gross, though. I really wish she'd stop it with the weaves/extensions. OR at the very least pay to get a decent job done.

posted by fluffy battle kitten 09 September | 21:31

Oh, I watched it. I don't know why I watched it. Definitely cringeworthy.

posted by typewriter 09 September | 21:36

I don't get why it looked so gross tonight- I feel like I saw pictures of her hair looking fine just a few days ago. Or HELL she could have put on a HAT.

MTV must be so embarrassed.

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 09 September | 21:36

That was so sad. It was like she was in a high school talent show.

All of the dancers around her were doing all the work & she was just kind of strolling around and letting them help her around the stage. Everyone seemed professional but Britney.

And what you guys already said about her hair? Agreed.

posted by miss lynnster 09 September | 22:09

I think it's safe to say she won't ever be a pop diva/teen idol anymore. Time for some well-intentioned handlers to seriously reinvent her future.

posted by netbros 09 September | 23:23

Ugh. I just saw the video online. Sad thing is, my first thought was "wow, I hope her ex does get the kids." She's way too wacked out on god only knows what (my first thought was painkillers of some kind) to be someone's mom.

posted by kellydamnit 09 September | 23:27

That no reruns thing was a joke too. The looks on everyone's faces was the best part. i was wondering, wait, am i missing something, is this suppose to be good? and i got my answer.

posted by ethylene 09 September | 23:31

This is one of those performances from the Filipino prison, right?

posted by stilicho 09 September | 23:44

Okay. I just watched it (on MTV.com, of all places), and all I feel is ... sad. I thought you all might be wrong. I figured you might be exaggerating. I figured it couldn't be *that* bad.

But it makes me want to cry. Not because of how bad the performance was, but because dammit, that girl needs a friend. Like, a real friend. That, and she needs to not be allowed on TV for awhile.

Honestly? I would love to see her get her shit together and rise like a phoenix, you know?

posted by brina 09 September | 23:54

Amen, sister. I will be her friend. DO YOU HEAR ME BRITNEY? Let's be friends. Come to my house, I will make you some beef stew.

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 09 September | 23:59

Many rumors now flying around as to why the performance was so bad: two on ONTD at present are that MTV cancelled the "real" performance at the last minute because of insurance and fear of controversy, and that Britney was upset right before going on because she overheard Sarah Silverman rehearsing her monologue that included references to Brit's kids as "mistakes".

SPOILERS - It's like when I read Harry Potter and Snape killed Dumbledore and I was like, huh, no, that's not right. And I was surprised at how badly I wanted to believe that this evil, horrible person was really good on the inside. I really want to believe there was a good reason for why this performance was so bad.

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 10 September | 00:03

...because dammit, that girl needs a friend. Like, a real friend.

That's the crux of the trainwreck, in'nit? Brit's on TV all desperately needing a real friend. But we all need a real friend or two. Desperately.

posted by shane 10 September | 00:18

Also, this poor child actor girl-woman was raised nearly from birth to be a star, and so has never known anything close to a sense of reality. Completely blowing it on international TV and ditching her fake "pop star" life forever is probably the absolute BEST thing she could ever do, if it works out that way.

posted by shane 10 September | 00:54

TPS, no way I have a clue about that theory, but this rehearsal performance had more "gimme more" in its 5 seconds than the entire other .... thing. It was on stage. I'm not sure there's a word for that. It's not "performance", that's for sure.

posted by stilicho 10 September | 01:51

(Although she's still out of synch with her dancers. But she seems present.)

posted by stilicho 10 September | 01:52

A) I had no idea the MVA's where still around.
B) WHY are the MVA's still around?
C) I don't care about BS and her failures anymore. Do it in private.

If you want to do it in public suck up the scorn.

D) In looking at Youtube coverage, Sarah Silverman should be at least as embarrassed. She suxed.

posted by arse_hat 10 September | 02:00

I know y'all were talking about that poor little chick from Florida who went mad. Here we go, then: The Industry chewed her up. She ALWAYS sucked, you guys. Her output has been awful from word Go. Yadda, yadda. (is that good enough?)

***

Some people might find it ironic that, although I'm a musician, I don't have the Sky 'music package'. Therefore, I have no MTV, VH1, etc. There's a great reason for this: I hate those channels.

It got to a point I couldn't justify paying good money for absolute shit 24/7. I really hate the new shite they call 'R&B' - slow, boring rap songs about sex with someone singing endless pentatonic minor scales and arpeggios over it - which dominates. Plus, all the booty-shakin' Cristal-drinkin', Bentley-drivin' gets really, really REALLY fucking old.

Fuck those people, seriously. P Diddy? Right in his fucking arse. If I never see that talentless little prick again as long as I live, it'll be too goddamned soon.

Consequently, I haven't seen any Music Video Awards in some time. I'm a snob; I only like the Mercury Music Prize... you know, an award which is for MUSIC.

posted by chuckdarwin 10 September | 02:48

Surely you'd agree that Toxic was an awesome piece of pop fantasticness.

posted by seanyboy 10 September | 03:03

Meh. Toxic is not my cup of tea: too synthetic; too overproduced; too corporate. It also lacks the sort of chorus I can get behind.

Thinking of it now, all the sticks out is that descending synth riff...

posted by chuckdarwin 10 September | 03:56

p.s. Ms Spears, you should cover up your minge; we're tired of seeing it. kthxbye

posted by chuckdarwin 10 September | 03:57

Meanwhile, the local commuter rag says she made a "stunning return to the stage". Takes all kinds, I guess.

posted by dg 10 September | 04:25

There *is* a good reason this performance was so bad: she is not a talented performer. She never was When she was young, she was "cute" and just riding the youth & popularity. There was a very real tangible reward for throwing herself into it. Now there's not. She has the money, but the guys keep leaving her and fame/money/whatever isn't happiness.

Ultimately, she has no more talent than your average high school cheerleader and never did. *That* is exactly the sort of performance you get out of your average high school cheerleader when she is expected to display real talent and perform without someone coaching her every second and perform without caring whether or not her team wins the cheerleading trophy.

posted by crush-onastick 10 September | 08:19

Britney, pheh. To hell with that overpaid lapdancer wannabe. There's another artist who's initials are B.S. who's got a new album out (and is touring! and I got tickets!) and who has more talent in his pinky toe than Britnry's entire family lineage dating back to pre-history. and he manages to stay the hell out of the gossip pages.

posted by jonmc 10 September | 09:12

There *is* a good reason this performance was so bad: she is not a talented performer.

Lies! Watch her old performances on the VMAs and then get back to me. She used to be able to bring it!

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 10 September | 09:21

Meh. James Brown could dance. There was even that other dude who went completely bugfuckingly, child-molestingly, batshit, skin-bleaching INSANE.

That dude could dance.

She just learned a few steps with a choreographer and worked on them until they looked almost in step with the the other (much more talented) backing dancers.

*shrug*

I'm with the others; she sucks now, but she *always* sucked. Her music is disposable. When the tabloids grow tired of her, she will be forgotten.

posted by chuckdarwin 10 September | 09:44

Watch her old performances on the VMAs and then get back to me. She used to be able to bring it!

I don't dispute that; I dispute that she has any talent. I stand by my statement that her old "talent" was nothing more than what any high school cheerleader with a coach and 4 hours a day of practising her routines has: the ability to memorize eye-catching choreography and smile big while doing it. That's certainly a skill I never had, but it's not talent. Stripped of the machine, which heretofore forced her to practice, practice, practice and stay perky, she's just what any person would be in a spangling bikini on stage, backed by hardworking dancers: slightly embarrassing.

posted by crush-onastick 10 September | 10:02

Who would have that Christina Aguilera would end up the classier of the two?

posted by drezdn 10 September | 10:06

Indeed!

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 10 September | 10:12

Who would have that Christina Aguilera would end up the classier of the two?

Christina can actually sing. and if I was her producer, I'd create an album that would completely remake her.

posted by jonmc 10 September | 10:30

Wow, I've always wanted a body like Britney Spears's. And now, God help me, I've got one.

posted by JanetLand 10 September | 10:58

Isn't that exciting??? I felt the same way...

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 10 September | 11:06

There *is* a good reason this performance was so bad: she is not a talented performer. She never was When she was young, she was "cute" and just riding the youth & popularity.

yes and no. she was never very good, but she could pretend she was dancing. and she lip-synched better, marginally better songs. she was younger and thinner, and had real hair on her head. she hadn't done a ton of drugs yet. that's important, too.

I mean, it's different. that's why she's so bad now. she was kind of meh but she wasn't embarrassing. now she is. people feel sorry for her. it means her career is over. I sincerely don't think she has a career left; maybe in porn, which could happen if she ends up seriously needing money.

I mean, god knows it's not my thing, but a "Britney Gets Gangbanged By Peter North and Rocco Siffredi" DVD would make a ton of cash, less than Pamela Anderson's sex tape, but probably more than that lame Paris Hilton video.

posted by matteo 10 September | 11:21

Who ever would've thought she would someday start reminding me of Tonya Harding?

posted by miss lynnster 10 September | 12:26

MTV must be so embarrassed.

I highly doubt they are, they have no shame. If anything, they are pleased by this, the more they are talked about the better they like it.

I wish they would stop giving out awards for music though, they haven't been really about music for what, fifteen years or so? MTV giving out music awards is like a sushi restaurant selling chocolate chip cookies.

posted by King of Prontopia 10 September | 12:46

Justin Timberlake added a plea to MTV to "play more damn music videos" into every speech. Even after the girls from "The Hills" gave him an award. It was funny to watch him start to rail against reality TV, and then realize that the girls from MTV's biggest reality franchise were standing right there...

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 10 September | 12:58

haters. Britney is like the rest of the Mouseketter gang. She's talented enough, and has the right coaches, to bring herself to the next level. That's what made her good. She's talented in the way all mediocre NFL players are talented - they're not superstars but they've got enough to talent to want to keep practicing at what they do. Where other people stop, they're able to keep going. That's all you need to be good enough to sell a 100 million albums.

And Justin needs to shut up with the "play more videos" spiel. 1997 called. It wants its mantra back.

posted by stynxno 10 September | 13:23

stynxo: that's what I'm saying. She's not a talented performer; she's comfortable and pliable under the right conditions with a good trainer. That's not talent; that's practice and skill and it's laudable, but not uncommon. Vegas, Branson, and the chorus of any good show is full of those performers. I don't hate her; I don't even care that she gets money while more talented people never make it big. I'm just not surprised to see that--once abandoned by a machine--she can't actually carry a performance, even lip-synching.

posted by crush-onastick 10 September | 13:36

Haa, my sister is funny:

Sister: She had no like presense at all
Sister: not to mention her out fit
Sister: she kind of made herself look big
Sister: she at least could have held her stomach in
Sister: She didn't look like she was having fun
Sister: she looked down a lot
Sister: I was dissappointed
Sister: very
Sister: I was hoping that she would be in really good shape and then that she would steal justin timberlakes heart!
Sister: My hopes have died!

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 10 September | 14:29

If Sarah Silverman actually called her kids, "the most adorable mistakes" and Britney heard that before hitting the stage - I can see why Britney gave a sucky performance. And to me - that makes Britney more human than she's appeared in a long time.

There's exactly no excuse for Sarah Silverman to stoop to that kind of level other than it was the EASY thing for her to do and that's just lame. Saying that kind of shit and getting off on it because you're saying it front of the person involved doesn't make you funny - it makes you a cunt.

posted by fluffy battle kitten 10 September | 14:49

Sarah Silverman is SO LAME. Tired of her. OMG she's pretty and mean!!!11 So was that blonde girl at my middle school, but she's not on MTV every 5 seconds, is she?

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 10 September | 15:01

I'm completely comfortable wearing my "HATER" badge, as they go perfectly with my "UNBELIEVER!" and "HERETIC!" badges.

Everything Disney has ever for television or the music industry should be dumped in a landfill; it's the very definition of cheap, shitty, forgettable, solely-for-profit, disposable art. It chews up little kids to make its margins, and I find that whole process nearly as despicable as the child pageant system.

I think I'm allergic to Disney. Not only have I not been to Orlando, I've never even been to Florida. I'm not planning to go.

posted by chuckdarwin 10 September | 15:20

I'm with you TPS. I watched an episode or two of her Comedy Central show, and it was the first time I felt myself getting dumber as the show went on.

posted by drezdn 10 September | 15:29

If anyone wanders in looking for the video (the original link doesn't work any more) you can actually see it on YouTube now:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8W6-vUZLzXE

I'm about to go watch it now. I've been waiting. Maybe I'll regret?

posted by SassHat 10 September | 15:46

Well after all the hue and cry, I have to say she doesn't look that bad. Especially considering she's had two kids and some serious stress injuries from dancing in the past few years.

Was the performance lame? Yes, but mostly because she looks dead-eyed and tired. She's phoning it in because she's been doing it for a decade and she's in the middle of some sort of personal breakdown. Give her a fucking break. She still dances better than the young ones: Hillary Duff, Lindsay Lohan, Avril Lavigne, Ashlee Simpson (what the hell happened to her, even?). Those girls are all good at lip-sync and just stand there while people dance around them. Seems as though Brit's adopted the process.

posted by SassHat 10 September | 15:51

I've always wanted a body like Britney Spears's. And now, God help me, I've got one.
My first thought on seeing the photos (haven't seen the video, don't want to) is that she now looks like a normal woman with a womanly figure and nothing like the exaggerated stick figure that most female performers of all breeds seem to aspire to. That's a good thing.

As for her music, the true test of whether it's good or bad (IMHO, of course) is whether it will be played as "classic rock" in 20 years time. Somehow, I doubt it.

posted by dg 10 September | 17:28

This is so exciting. Was that incredible? Britney Spears, everyone. Wow, she is amazing. I mean, she is 25 years old, and she has already accomplished everything she’s going to accomplish in her life. It’s mind-blowing.

And she’s so grown up, she’s a mother. It’s crazy. It’s weird to think that just a few years ago on this very show, she was a sweet, innocent girl in slutty clothes writhing around with a python. No, that’s not nice: calling Madonna a python.

But have you seen Britney’s kids? Oh, my God, they are the most adorable mistakes you will ever see. They are so cute. They are as cute as the hairless vagina they came out of. What? I’m serious, they’re this cute, you guys.

Wow, look at all the big stars here tonight. This is amazing. Paris, no Paris jokes tonight. I’m over that, I miss us. It’d be lame. And let me tell you something else. If you had any idea how much I misused all of my orifices in my early twenties, you would realize it was really the pot calling the kettle whorish, or whatever. That was not cool, at all.

Wow, this is awesome. Hey, wow. I can’t believe this—50 Cent is here. Can I just say, I think it is so cute that he is still alive. I love that.

You know, a lot of, like, musicians and stuff, you guys will cite exhaustion to get out of stuff. And let me tell you. No one is buying it anymore. I’m going to give you advice, three words that will get you out of anything: “I have diarrhea.” You’re welcome.

“I can’t do my show tonight, I have diarrhea. Oh, it’s Monday? I’m going to have diarrhea Monday, too.” No one will think you’re lying, it’s too humiliating.

I was talking to Cee-Lo backstage, and I asked him, "When you were growing up in Atlanta, did you encounter any racism?" And he said something really interesting. He said, “I’m Kanye West.” And that was a little bit embarrassing. But he let me off the hook, he said don’t worry about it. He said, “Don’t worry, all Jews look the same to me, too.” Which obviously is ridiculous because Jews are like snowflakes…everyone is different.

Thank you, Seth.

Like Amy Winehouse, she’s Jewish. Everyone is different. She is Jewish, right? If she isn’t, someone should tell her face. 'Cause she has one of these [scrunches up her face].
All right, that’s it. I wish I could stay longer, but I have diarrhea.

posted by chuckdarwin 10 September | 19:27

I lawled

posted by matteo 11 September | 11:35

09 September 2007