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31 August 2007

Does anyone buy skin mags anymore? [More:]

Last night, in the course of a conversation with my 17 year old son, I asked him if he had ever tried to buy a Playboy, or a magazine like it. I was curious to know if he had ever been turned away. He looked at me like I was something to be pitied, and told me no, that he never tried, and has never seen one, and none of his friends have ever seen one either, and they can't swipe them from their dads because their dads don't buy them either. He added, "Why should we buy magazines when we can get a thousand times more porn free online any time we want it?"

Which I could not argue with, but the decline of the printed pulp kind of made me sad. I remember when I came across something he had printed at home - I think he was 9 or 10. He printed out a sexy but sweet picture of Jennifer Lopez wearing a tank top and shorts and a come-hither smile, and hid it under his bed. I found it when I was sweeping, and stuck it back under after I had removed all the dust bunnies.
Nope.

I've acquired only two paper mags in the last five+ years (bought one, given one). Both were copies hand-signed by the featured models ... who I'd first oogled via the internets.
posted by danostuporstar 31 August | 09:49
My boyfriend just bought a copy of Hustler because his brother-in-law had an article published in that month's issue. No, really, honest.
posted by JanetLand 31 August | 09:59
My neighbor does. He's older, 65ish, and *gasp* doesn't have a computer/internet.
posted by mightshould 31 August | 10:10
JanetLand's bf to magazine stand salesman: (proudly) My brother-in-law is in this issue!
Magazine stand salesman: (with half-hearted smile) Oh...wow.
posted by Hellbient 31 August | 10:11
I was recruited to be a staff humor writer for a skin mag startup about a year ago (the magazine was called Dream; no clue if it ever actually saw print). I decided not to because they seemed like a bunch of pricks, but I was briefly picturing a section of my bookshelf devoted to porn where my work appeared.
posted by cobra! 31 August | 10:15
mr. gaspode buys 'em on occasion. I'm thinking it's nostalgia-driven because we certainly have enough downloaded porn.
posted by gaspode 31 August | 10:21
I haven't bought one recently, but I have a few old ones I still look at from time to time. Jilling off in front of the computer just isn't something I'd want to do, and I don't have a laptop to take to bed (plus, wouldn't it get in the way of my arm?).

Which leads me to the question, how does one arrange oneself while pleasuring oneself to online porn? What if you like to lie down instead of sitting up? For guys, is there a box of tissues next to the keyboard? What if your computer is in the public part of the house? There's all sorts of logistical questions here.
posted by matildaben 31 August | 10:26
mightshould has it exactly right, I think. Besides the small subset of people whose particular preferences (I'm reluctant to call it 'fetish' or 'kink' or something) require them to have some kind of actual physical object, there's a much larger group of people who can't/won't/don't use technology that way. Based on my experience working at a porn store, and on many of my pals' experience working in phone sex, it's an aging, often poor, typically undereducated population--basically the same kinds of people that librarians are referring to when they talk about the 'digital divide.' As Jessamyn observed the other day, porn is not the kind of topic that people usually ask librarians about. And adult sites, deservedly or not, have a pretty bad reputation for popups and credit-card scams and a whole bunch of other bad web stuff. Because of these factors, it seems like the digital divide is especially steep and foreboding when it comes to pornography consumption.
posted by box 31 August | 10:30
Doesn't klangklangston work at Barely Legal? I'd be curious to know what their demographic looks like these days. Based on what I've seen working at the bookstore, it's pretty much all middle-aged white men. Black guys usually prefer Penthouse or Hustler. Funny, I never notice anyone buying Playboy, but it's by far the best seller among porn mags.
posted by Atom Eyes 31 August | 10:38
I think my parents do, from time to time (don't ask me how I know - it's a scarring story). I know my mom is pretty militantly anti-computer-porn, which makes her rather-tolerant stance on Penthouse rather confusing.
posted by muddgirl 31 August | 10:38
And adult sites, deservedly or not, have a pretty bad reputation for popups and credit-card scams and a whole bunch of other bad web stuff.

How do you know which are the good ones and which ones are riddled with "bad web stuff" until you visit them, though? I seriously wish there was a list of porn sites that were on the up and up that I could give to my son. Is there? A list, I mean. I need some links!
posted by iconomy 31 August | 10:47
(not that I would present it to him as 'mom-approved porn', because that's not exactly a turn-on)
posted by iconomy 31 August | 10:48
Who reads them? Soldiers, apparently.
posted by essexjan 31 August | 10:53
Heh. "NastySlutz.com: Kid tested. Mother approved."
posted by Atom Eyes 31 August | 10:54
No skin mags? Where will kids find an entire 70s -> 80's pile of Playboy to hunt bunnies on the cover on then? A sad sad day.
posted by dabitch 31 August | 11:02
(notice how I brought it all back to bunnies in the end. Bunnies RULE!)
posted by dabitch 31 August | 11:03
As a kid I went to this beauty parlor a couple times with my mom for haircuts. The waiting room was a big circle of chairs surrounding a circular coffee table that was piled with magazines. In the mix were Playboy magazines. I have no idea why the owner felt that porn was appropriate reading material for a hair salon in suburbia. Anyway, I grabbed one to peruse. I was probably around 8 or so, and I had never seen a Playboy magazine. My mother let me gawk at the spread vaginas for a few minutes before she took it away and suggested something else. I'm not sure we returned after that.
posted by LoriFLA 31 August | 11:27
Standing or kneeling.
posted by rainbaby 31 August | 11:49
They must sell cuz 7-11 still stocks 'em.
posted by mischief 31 August | 11:49
I'm a fan of Naughty America and I Feel Myself. I think audio is a key component.
posted by eamondaly 31 August | 12:09
I pick up the soft-core promotional magazines they have at the strip clubs, does that count?
posted by Specklet 31 August | 12:24
Popular Dermatology all the way, baby!
posted by ooga_booga 31 August | 14:13
Playboy magazine. My mother let me gawk at the spread vaginas

I don't beleive I EVER saw a spread vagina in Playboy, and damned few in Penthouse. Things must have changed, eh?
posted by quonsar 31 August | 14:43
It may have been Penthouse. This was 20 plus years ago. I remember the cover --a woman dressed as a sexy Yankee Doodle Dandy. Things were definitely spread. I don't think I've uttered the words "spread vagina" in my life until today. Bad choice of words. I feel dirty.
posted by LoriFLA 31 August | 14:49
Don't feel dirty. At least you didn't bring up Vagina Spread™ and bagels.
posted by danostuporstar 31 August | 14:57
"Once upon a time, Playboy sold seven million copies per issue and now it sells three million. This is not because of a declining male interest in beautiful nude women or because the women aren't as beautiful or as nude as they used to be. It's because you can now get those beautiful nude women on the Internet or on DVD and maybe they're even better in that venue." - Mark Evanier, in a digression in a blog post about the end of "Disney Adventures" magazine
posted by wendell 31 August | 15:00
dano, I almost choked on my toast from laughing.
posted by LoriFLA 31 August | 15:02
At least you didn't bring up Vagina Spread™ and bagels.
I mentally faved that.
posted by iconomy 31 August | 15:20
If it was 20+ years ago, it had to have been Hustler; no one else would have been doing shots of spread va-jay-jays then.
posted by Specklet 31 August | 15:21
I remember the picture vividly. Glamorous looking big blonde hair woman jn high heels squatting, opening lips with fingers. Vajayjay front and center.
posted by LoriFLA 31 August | 15:29
It probably was Hustler. I feel gross again. ;)
posted by LoriFLA 31 August | 15:38
The only skin rags I ever see anymore are in the alleys around my work, when I hunt for used syringes (in order to get them off the street).

There are some raunchy ones out there.

Once I found a whole grocery sack full of "Chicks with Dicks" VHS tapes. Before dumpstering them, I had to do a bit of investigation. But not much.
posted by danf 31 August | 16:16
I bought an issue of Penthouse a few years ago.

It bored me.

Bleached-blond anorexics with beach-ball implants and no asses whatsoever just aren't my cup of tea.

posted by jason's_planet 31 August | 17:09
I still have to go back and read everyone's posts, but iconomy's opening post and her son's sweet pic of Jennifer Lopez made me want to post this. My stepson did something similar. Only he was 15, and the pictures weren't so sweet. I was at the computer (before I got my laptop) printing out a recipe, but the printer was jammed. I fixed it, only to have six PAGES of naked Asian girls come out at me!!! I was more than a little miffed.

Now, back to reading!
posted by redvixen 31 August | 19:09
Okay, to be honest, the last issue of Playboy I've seen was when Mr. V brought home the issue with Carmen Electra on the cover. I like to read Playboy, and I've often thought that the photos are artistically done. But yeah, with everything on the internet, who needs the paper version?
posted by redvixen 31 August | 19:20
I used to get Hustler on occasion, since they were a little grittier than Playboy or Penthouse, and the cartoons were funnier. These days, with such a variety of unclad female flesh available for free online, who needs it?
posted by jonmc 31 August | 19:25
Nowadays if I buy a Playboy, it really is for the articles.
posted by mischief 31 August | 22:35
Porno magazines are best when found down by the stream under the bushes in the woods behind the shopping mall. But be careful the older boys working on cars in their driveways don't see them tucked under your arm on the way home or they'll take them from you.
posted by StickyCarpet 31 August | 22:58
Many moons ago, I had an interview to be Larry Flynt's PA.¹ I went as a goof, and to see his office.² They called me to come back and meet Herr Larr, but I declined. They liked me so much,³ they kept calling and offering more money.

Does this count?

¹before he was shot
²it was a prelim chat, and he wasn't around
³more likely, they were hard-up

posted by rob511 01 September | 01:26
In 1982, I went to fat camp on the UCSB campus--some of the girls bought Playgirl on one of the trips into town. Later I bought a copy of my own--most of the guys were too hairy for my taste--but my parents took it away (though not before I tore out the photo of the one guy I found cute). Hypocrites. My father had Penthouse strewn all over the bathroom; I remember the gay male letters to Forum. I bought the first copy of Sweet Action and have looked into a few of the subsequent issues, but I'm not really drawn to skinny guys.

HOWEVER, "nothing like the sun".....
posted by brujita 01 September | 14:31
How do you know which are the good ones and which ones are riddled with "bad web stuff" until you visit them, though? I seriously wish there was a list of porn sites that were on the up and up that I could give to my son. Is there? A list, I mean. I need some links!

Jane's Guide :)
posted by Savannah 01 September | 15:18
I still buy them occasionally, but i also consume internet pron when the oppurtunity arises (couldn't resist)...

Actually, one of my prized possesions is a signed copy of Playboy with Denise Richards on the cover...the magazine itself was a Playboy party favor...good fun...i saw the hef too!

And...my friend was performing a 'manual over-ride' whilst perusing online pron, and as per the normal technique is right hand = mouse, left hand = winkwink...as he orgasmed he felt something pop in his head and had a horrible headache for several hours...he claims he is mever going to do it left-handed again...

him: i totally need to learn how to mouse left-handed...

me: *giggle giggle snort*
posted by Schyler523 01 September | 16:06
A few years ago, I actually bought (via eBay) a copy of the issue of Playgirl from 1981 that has John Matuszak nekkid in it.

≡ Click to see image ≡
(I still think he played for BOTH teams.)
posted by BoringPostcards 01 September | 17:32
Footnote game. || A radio program brave enough to take an unflinching look at the issues of the day

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