MetaChat - What on earth do you wear

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27 August 2007

What on earth do you wear to an evening wedding, in Portland, in October, hosted by a bride and groom who registered primarily at REI, held at a conservation organization's headquarters, with a non-insubstantial Quaker contingent?

I have no clue. Help?

post by: Fuzzbean at: 10:30 | 32 comments

Sounds like you could wear about anything. Something you find really comfortable? Whatever it is, you'll find that of God in it.

posted by Hugh Janus 27 August | 10:33

A fleece, britches, giant metal buckles on your shoes and one of those hats that looks like a black traffic cone, throw some giant metal buckles on that too, you can never have too many buckles with those Quakers, carry a Nagalene water bottle, clip about six carabiners to it and a big metal buckle.

Clean, tidy casualish, but squared away clothes. As a dude I would wear trousers and real shoes and tuck in my shirt, perhaps bring a blazer depending on the weather.

posted by Divine_Wino 27 August | 10:41

You know, I've been in similar situations, and I've just flat-out asked the groom, or a close friend of the bride, what he's wearing.

posted by mrmoonpie 27 August | 10:41

≡ Click to see image ≡

posted by Hugh Janus 27 August | 10:48

As a girl, I'd probably go with a conservative-ish black cocktail dress. Not too short, not too long.

posted by muddgirl 27 August | 10:49

Ooh, yes. Should point out that I'm a girl.

And I've met the Quakers in question (my boyfriend's family). Silly belt buckles are not involved. Mostly.

posted by Fuzzbean 27 August | 10:50

Isn't it a bit off form to wear a black dress to a wedding? Somebody may whisper that you are in mouring or Do Not Approve. (Yeah, ask around is probably best.)

posted by rainbaby 27 August | 10:50

Fuzzbean
I have to tell you though, on formal occasions the Friends like to wild out a little. You're going to want to just... Rattle.

posted by Divine_Wino 27 August | 10:54

I went to a Quaker school, and everybody dressed like this, all the time. The great thing about Quakerism is that you don't have to dress up for Meetinghouse; you can just wear your ordinary clothes:

≡ Click to see image ≡

That's me on the left.

posted by Hugh Janus 27 August | 10:57

Anything from Gramicci would be appropriate, I would think.

posted by danf 27 August | 11:03

organic hemp wedding clothes

posted by desjardins 27 August | 11:06

Isn't it a bit off form to wear a black dress to a wedding?

Is it? I don't know, maybe. Gosh, it's just a party, isn't it? If I wear a black dress to my anniversary dinner, does that mean I'm mourning something?

posted by muddgirl 27 August | 11:26

old ask me

I think the feeling is it's probably fine, totally fine to wear black, but older folks at a wedding might have a flash of a strange thought about it.

posted by rainbaby 27 August | 11:41

Isn't it a bit off form to wear a black dress to a wedding?

You would think so! I wore cream to a wedding the weekend before last. It wasn't really my color but I couldn't wear black. So I thought... most of the guests were in black.

I think I was in the right, though. Black is such a serious color.

posted by halonine 27 August | 11:55

Simple black cocktail dress. Black for an evening wedding in the fall is completely acceptable.

posted by Specklet 27 August | 11:55

I'd probably show up wearing this:

≡ Click to see image ≡

posted by Hugh Janus 27 August | 11:59

Seconding that you should ask the people hosting the wedding what the dress code is.

Generally, though, you're unlikely to go too far wrong with a suit for him and a nice cocktail dress for her.

posted by dersins 27 August | 11:59

if you don't want to make it too stuffy, a nice pencil skirt and a twin set should work fine

posted by matteo 27 August | 12:02

Chacos.

posted by box 27 August | 12:04

Sounds like a Berkeley-ish wedding, in which case you should wear something nice, dressy, not majorly formal, not black, and not over-ly sparkly. Sequins aren't big unless you're make a statement with them, as in super-retro, or super drag-queen fab.

Around here you can even wear a cotton outfit, as long as it's a very nice one. Or you paid a lot of money for it. People around here confuse those. If it looks like dryer lint, but you paid $600 for it, go ahead and wear it.

I only bring up the sequins because when I went to an event in Indiana, they seemed to be standard issue party wear for a certain older generation. I had never seen sequins worn un-ironically before.

posted by small_ruminant 27 August | 12:10

I was leaning towards something like this, in the espresso color, and it sounds like that would be pretty solid. I'm just totally hopeless in figuring out these etiquette rules and whatnot, and I don't go to that many weddings.

Need to find something cheaper than $200 though. Dammit.

posted by Fuzzbean 27 August | 12:19

Oooh, pretty! I approve. :-)

posted by occhiblu 27 August | 12:21

Too funny. You won't believe it, but I was actually going to suggest this one (the green, in the little pic on the left) before I saw your last comment here. Ha!

posted by taz 27 August | 12:28

That's a beautiful dress, and in espresso it would look a little more evening-y.

I was just looking at that dress last week. Coveting, might be a more accurate word.

posted by small_ruminant 27 August | 12:30

You might be on the more-dressed-up side with taz's, it being strapless and all. I'd be surprized if most people were that dressed up.

posted by small_ruminant 27 August | 12:32

Anything fair-trade gets you big points, too, in that crowd.

posted by small_ruminant 27 August | 12:34

Actually, I was looking at the green one in the small pic on the left... can't link directly because of stupid flash navigation there (when will they learn? WHEN?), but it's clickable.

posted by taz 27 August | 12:41

Hah! Too lovely, taz; yes, that's another one of the ones in the running. I'm clearly barking up the right tree. :) (On preview: this is the one taz meant, yes?

There's an Ann Taylor outlet store in my parents' town and I'm going to go visit them next week. This sounds likely.

I liked the one I linked to because it's not quite as shiny=not quite so formal (in my possibly confused opinion). And strapless is not really an option; I'm too afraid of my boobs losing friction abruptly. Critical boob failure and all that. (No, there is no rational basis for this fear. Respect the boobs.)

Fair trade *would* be awesome, but the odds of me finding a store that sells them at a price I can afford (I can wangle $200 max, I think, and then I've still got shoes to worry about) are regrettably slim. Bah. I'll settle for buying something classic made with the blood of Indonesian orphans and then wearing it for 10 years. This only doesn't work right now because all my previous formal dresses are floor-length prom dresses and I think not quite right for this sort of thing.

posted by Fuzzbean 27 August | 12:43

I'm missing an ).

posted by Fuzzbean 27 August | 12:44

Two tacks you could take:

1) "I do not understand your mysterious ways, please give me some direction."

2) Wear whatever the hell you want, they invited you, so on their heads be it.

posted by King of Prontopia 27 August | 12:48

Fair-trade, eco stuff isn't usually that expensive, but it IS usually frumpy and available only online, even in Berkeley.

I've been Googling around and this is the least frumpy dress I've found. I see a market...

posted by small_ruminant 27 August | 13:30

If you wear something you look great in, you'll be fine. There may be people there in hippie duds and/or natural fabrics, especially linen. No one is going to quiz you or scold you if you wear something made of polyester. So get a dress you love. You can always wear some handcrafted jewelry for that fairtrade / eco / granola vibe.

posted by theora55 27 August | 17:14

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