And she'd be horrified to discover I'd posted even this. I'm out of bounds doing so.

Ugh. That sounds awful.

If you're in a "still wanting to help" mindset, maybe send her flowers at work or something (or a rosemary bush! I've always wanted a rosemary bush at work) to let her know you're thinking of her and to give her a visual mini-break when she sees them during the day?

If you're in a "wanting to strangle her" mode, however, then I sympathize. Watching people sabotage themselves sucks.

heh. I could go either way, but she's sort of couch surfing currently, so added possessions are a liability. What I've taken away from this so far, is the lesson that it's very awkward to couch surf when you's prefer not to talk to any of your friends.

What I've taken away from this so far, is the lesson that it's very awkward to couch surf when you'd prefer not to talk to any of your friends.

Yes, I can see how that would be awkward....

That's a shame. I have a couple friends who suffer from anxeity attacks. Medication was a huge help to them, now they're basically fine, but without they could barely function.

It sucks her job is such that the best solution may be closed to her. Any chance she could blame it on something else and get help- stress, or even just see a GP?

s_r, I remember you mentioning that she won't take any medication, but would she consider naturopathic stuff? Herbs, homeopathy, amino acids?

specklet, in theory, yes, but she's just too busy for that... and I don't think she believes in it, so isn't likely to make time.

I did acupuncture and some Chinese herbs, and it helped quite a bit, though not 100%.

She's taking some supplements, at least, finally. I don't know what kind.

occhiblu, if you know of any psychiatrists who are willing to do 100% confidentiality, and who practice in the east bay, will you send their names my way? I don't imagine there are that many. Worth a shot, anyway.

that "just too busy for that" 2 posts up should be said in a sarcastic tone of voice, btw.

s_r, I hope that your friend figures out how to handle it all without alienating people around her. It's hard. I get into that space at times.

While reading, I was wondering (and of course you can't tell us) if this person is known, like Nancy Pelosi or someone. . .

That's what kava tea's for! Promote a state of relaxed unconcern, then sleep well in order to do what needs doing the next day.

Oh My GoD YOUR FRENS WITH NACY PELEOSI!!!! I TELL EVERYONE@!@!@

LOL. Nope, no one famous.

Somehow I can't see Nancy Pelosi couchsurfing...maybe I'm having a critical failure of imagination.

S_r, I don't have any names. But two thoughts:

1. If she can pay out of pocket, then she wouldn't have to worry about any info getting back to her employer (assuming that's the worry). Can she find someone who doesn't take insurance? Most therapists prefer not to bother with insurance anyway, it seems.

2. No one's going to do "100% confidentiality," because they're required by law to report child & elder abuse and potential harm to others, and to keep the option open to call in help if the patient's suicidal. If none of those things are the case, then ignore this; mainly just wanted to say that no one's going to agree to "100% confidentiality" due to CYA issues. (That is, to make sure they're covering their own ass.)

Actually, it just struck me that I have a friend who might know someone in the East Bay; I'll email him.

Nancy Pelosi just happens to be the Kelly Slater of couch surfing.

Thanks, occhiblu, I'd appreciate it.

I've done the anxiety dance a little bit and had a friend who had a severe anxiety disorder. The good news (good-ish) is that it's fairly episodic. If she decides to tough it out, the attacks probably won't go on forever. My friend was not interested in medication for her condition, so she learned to 'ride out' the attacks. Mine weren't that bad, but I didn't want meds either, and just started getting into regular exercise, which solved it mostly.

Just wanted to reassure you and her that it's probably not a life sentence for her.

Fish oil and exercise. She needs to do something physical to burn up the stress hormones. It works.

Miko, I'm thinking the same thing. Also, she used to exercise a lot but now hardly ever does. She says she's getting back into it.

bunnyfire, I bought her some Omega-3 pills, made from flax or something wimpy. She hates fish so fish oil's out.

I love fish and I can't stomach those old-fish burps you get from the capsules. Bleh. I feel like I'm exuding old fish smell all my hours when I take them.

I hear this talk of "fish burps" all the time, but I've been taking fish oil for awhile now, and I've never had a fish burp. I worry that maybe the stuff I'm taking is no good? I WANT FISHY BURPS TOO BLABDABBIT