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15 August 2007

Each time the cat does not eat, it creates a parallel universe where it does eat. Simply accelerate the cat to the speed of light (I recommend the swing-by-the-tail method) to shift one universe over. Problem solved.
posted by Eideteker 15 August | 21:48
Behind The Mefi: as a matter of fact, like a dozen fucking people have had the same idea and failed in the restraint department. Deleting is fun!
posted by cortex 15 August | 22:08
But accelerating a cat's molecules to that speed would cause the cat to heat up to temperatures off the scale! How would you compensate?
posted by MonkeyButter 15 August | 22:11
Well it's a good thing you didn't say that, because it's a really fucking stupid answer.

Q: "Hey, cat is really freaked out and won't eat, what should I do? He also has a lot of health problems."

Your answer: "Lock it in a box with a bowl of food."

Keep your shit advice to yourself, thanks.
posted by puke & cry 15 August | 22:17
Yeah, it's pretty fucking stupid advice. Especially when people are referring to THIS Shrodinger and making eponysterical reference to a cat in a box.

So I thought it was pretty funny and apparently others did too. But perhaps humor on a quantum level is too uncertain for you?
posted by disclaimer 15 August | 22:44
Cats CAN starve themselves to death. It's not the lack of food that kills them, but Fatty Liver Disease. I learned this the hard way after almost losing my feral cat. So fwiw, your advice, and that of most of the responders to the original post, and that of the poster's vet sucks. Force feeding may be in order.
posted by arse_hat 15 August | 22:51
um, what? Of course it's stupid advice - it's a joke. Am I not getting something here, p&c and arse_hat?
posted by gaspode 15 August | 23:13
It's much funnier on the front page, without all the [more inside] to distract from the poster's name.

And cortex, you're welcome for the restraint. I knew my jokey comment would be deleted as not helpful, so I took it to MetaChat! Whee! Playing by the rules is almost as fun as quantum physics!
posted by kyleg 15 August | 23:26
You and your strange charmed bottom--
--oh, wait, that's friday--
posted by ethylene 15 August | 23:38
"Of course it's stupid advice - it's a joke." I get that kyleg's response is a joke. I'm just pointing out that the rest of the advice may not be good.
posted by arse_hat 15 August | 23:43
It's hard to tell what people mean as serious and what they mean as a joke. The response of people to that kind of question can be really fucking stupid so I thought you were serious. It didn't help that cortex mentioned that he'd deleted similar responses. Just pretend I did a funny dance with a hat and cane after my first response. TA-DA!
posted by puke & cry 16 August | 00:13
But accelerating a cat's molecules to that speed would cause the cat to heat up to temperatures off the scale! How would you compensate?
posted by MonkeyButter

I think you just answered your own question.
posted by Eideteker 16 August | 06:07
Excellent, Eide. Now, I must jet to the grocery for a can of tuna and a bottle or Fabreeze.
posted by MonkeyButter 16 August | 13:45
At the tail end of the week... || Dear MetaChat, do I want this apartment?

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