You can do whatever you want, rhapsodie, and no judge can tell you otherwise.

Be strong! Don't worry! You'll be fine and no one can stop you from moving on. It certainly sounds like that's what you need.

14 minutes on the phone, and it's over.
I'm shaking.
I have to be to work in 45 minutes.

Deep breaths.

It sounds like you have a good handle on what you're feeling, and that it's irrational, so just leave it be and try not to drive yourself crazy.

*hugs*

On preview: *lots and lots of hugs*

Also: Congratulations, and continued strength.

I've looked up the law for your jurisdiction and the relevant bit says that the court will scrutinise the petition more closely if one party has the benefit of counsel and the other does not. In those circumstances the court will examine any arrangements made between the parties to ensure they are just and that the unrepresented person hasn't been walked over.

It goes on to say that the court will fix a hearing but if one spouse can't attend, they can be contacted by phone.


On preview: Goddamit, took too long to look it up!
That's all it's about. Don't worry. I'm assuming you're the unrepresented party and your soon-to-be-ex has a lawyer. The court just wants to make sure you understand what's going on.

Thanks for the information, jan. Neither of us had lawyers, neither had even gotten any legal advise. We just filled out the forms and filed them. I'm glad I didn't decide to fly to Fairbanks for the hearing because he was there in person, and I don't think I could have stood that.

It also feels like admitting to the entire state that I failed in my marriage, that I wasn't able to hold it all together. If I had only done this or that or been a better person. But then I remember the many, many fights filled with frustrated silence, every evening being ignored and talked down to and all the things I couldn't do "right" for him, and I know that this is for the best.

Now that I've gotten off the phone with my brother and my mom, I'm feeling much better. Maybe in a few more hours I'll feel like celebrating.

It also feels like admitting to the entire state that I failed in my marriage

Oh, but in Alaska, that's just a couple thousand people and a lot of moose. Imagine if you were getting divorced in Texas. :-)

Besides, moose are very sympathetic. I'm sure the entire state is rooting for you.

(And if any of the above came off as dismissive, I apologize. I love Alaska, and I really can't even imagine what you're feeling right now. But picturing faces like this always tends to help me. Moose!)

hahaha, thanks for the laugh.

And moose aren't all that cuddly when you're ten feet from them. But then again, they probably don't care about my divorce.

(((rhapsodie)))

Good job! You're done!

My ex-boyfriend grew up in Anchorage. One of my favorite stories of his was from a summer he was working construction, doing small jobs so that he was often the only one there. He drove up to a house, got out of his car, and saw a mama moose, with the baby grazing (do they graze?) in the yard of the house he was supposed to be working in.

So he turned around and slowly got back into his car, knowing better than to do anything that looked like he was getting between the mama and her baby.

After an hour or so, the moose wandered off, so he got out of the car and started working.

An hour later, the moose came back, so he got back in the car until they wandered away a few hours later.

Rinse, repeat, all day long.

The story always made me wonder how much "wildlife interference" time is built into construction estimates in Alaska.

Aw, rhapsodie, I hope this is the start of a very happy, exciting chapter in your life.

Me too, what jrossi said. It's totally natural to have the nervousness and the fear, but it does sound like you see that for what it is, a wave that will wash away eventually. *hugs*

I know it's a relief for it to be finalized, rhapsodie. I've been there, and the feeling is quite anti-climactic--you get in the car, go to work, say "good morning" to the folks in the hall just like yesterday. I know I wasn't particularly happy the day I got divorced.

But it seeps in, the knowledge that the knot is severed, that you no longer have to tell anyone "I'm going through a divorce" or "well, technically, I'm still married." That was a big thing for me, at least. Freedom can lonely, for sure, but it's better than the alternative, sometimes.

Sending gentle whuffles your way.

(((rhapsodie)))
Next time you post something on this topic, you should use this:
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Hoping things just get better for you now...

You ladies and gents are the best people on the internet. Seriously.

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Now to find something in the way of celebration tonight.

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Lots of hugs to you! Chin up, and go celebrate with a moose!

Celebration with chocolate mousse, even better.

All the best!

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two-step moose celebration! YUM!