MetaChat - Really down.

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31 July 2007

Really down. Because, what's really needed here is some self indulgent nonsense. →[More:] So I had a back ache which managed to turn itself over a couple of days to a back and severe chest ache. And I looked it up on the NHS Direct website and the site told me to call an ambulance NOW. But I didn't because it had been coming on over the last few days and I didn't want to bother anyone. Booked myself in for an appointment at the docs and even with the weird asymmetry of my stomach and the fact I sweat so easily and all the stuff mentioned above the doc said there was probably nothing wrong, but he's set me up for a chest XRay and some blood tests. And right now, I'm terrified that thanks to my overweightedness and my drinking and my smoking and my appalling diet that I've got either lung cancer or diabetes or a failing liver or dodgy kidneys or I'm on the point of a heart attack. It's all most likely hypochondria, but right now all I can think about is how I've managed to fuck it all up and let everyone down. My girlfriend doesn't deserve this and my friends don't deserve this. All I want to do is cry. I'm feeling useless and impotent. But mostly useless.

post by: seanyboy at: 18:11 | 35 comments

So sorry, seanyboy! Tell us what happens, please.

((( seanyboy)))

posted by small_ruminant 31 July | 18:18

Aww, seanyboy, that sounds scary and like no fun at all! I hope everything is alright and you've just got some weird muscle tension or something.

But listen: you haven't let anyone down by not feeling well! I'm sure your girlfriend and your friends just want to see you well and happy!

I'm sorry you're feeling down. I'm sending warm, whuffley thoughts.

posted by Specklet 31 July | 18:22

So sorry to hear it, bud! Ugh. How miserable.

*hug*

At your young age, and especially with the doc having looked at you and said not to worry, I'm sure it's going to turn out to be something minor. Very uncomfortable, but minor. So hang in there, man.

posted by BoringPostcards 31 July | 18:24

but right now all I can think about is how I've managed to fuck it all up and let everyone down. My girlfriend doesn't deserve this and my friends don't deserve this. All I want to do is cry. I'm feeling useless and impotent. But mostly useless.

You haven't fucked anything up, seanyboy.

You haven't let anyone down.

And you most emphatically ARE NOT useless and impotent.

You're a guy who had a little health scare. You took the proper, prudent steps to make sure you got the right medical help. I know you feel scared and upset right now, worried about what the tests might say. But chin up. I'm sure that you're OK.

posted by jason's_planet 31 July | 19:02

((( seanyboy )))

Get some sleep and do something self-indulgent to make yourself feel better.

You know that you are loved by a lot of people and you do a lot of good for a lot of people, which is soooooooo much more than most people can say!

Thinking tons of good thoughts in your direction.

posted by Sil 31 July | 19:19

So, as somebody who basically had the same bad habits and the body to go with it, who was diagnosed 3 years ago (at 41) with congestive heart failure, I'd say take it as a wake up call.

posted by doctor_negative 31 July | 19:42

You're going to be ok. The fact that you aren't dead means you can reverse whatever is causing you physical distress. Just take it minute by minute until you have your doctor visit and then listen to whatever they tell you.

posted by Divine_Wino 31 July | 19:52

In the words of the immortal Douglas Adams: DON'T PANIC.

Most of the things that could be causing your mystery pain/illness are not fatal. I know. I've had a couple of them and I'm still mostly alive. Like doctor_negative, I've failed at congesting my heart too. 5 years ago.

Don't be afraid to ask the doctor a lot of questions. (Write 'em down) And if he doesn't like answering them, that's HIS problem, not yours.

You may end up with a list of things you can't do anymore and/or shouldn't do anymore. So, find the things you can and should do that you enjoy and do more of them.

And stop worrying about letting down your girlfriend and your other friends; maybe it's just their turn to not let YOU down. Meanwhile, the MetaSupportSystem here asks for nothing and gives lots. Rest and relax. And DON'T PANIC.

posted by wendell 31 July | 20:09

I prescribe a tiny bit of chocolate and a good night's sleep.

And a pile of whuffles.

posted by bunnyfire 31 July | 20:15

doctor_negative has a good point. Also, don't ignore chest pains. It might be nothing, but it also might be something bad, no matter our age or state of health. The number one way to get to the front of the line in an ER is to complain of chest pain.

Anecdote (not to scare you, but to show everyone the seriousness of the matter): A coworker of mine went to the hospital after a day of being tired with shoulder and chest pain. He's young and in great shape, but he definitely had a clogged artery. His doctor said that it was probably just "a fluke" - that he had an artery pimple or something that burst. He was lucky that his wife is a nurse for a cardiologist - he told me that he was planning on "waiting to see what happened," but his wife convinced him to go to the ER.

Also, hugs! And remember that you're a great person, everyone loves you, and that really healthy people are in a minority.

posted by muddgirl 31 July | 20:18

Do we get to be self indulgent here because i got a load of it that's got to go somewhere--
no matter what you have evidence in being able to post here that you are not useless, and probably not impotent.
It's good to get a chance to have full blood work no matter what and anything else that rules out anything else.
i'm stopping myself before i go on.

posted by ethylene 31 July | 20:28

Seanyboy, when I have severe upper back pain, like between the shoulder blades, it often transmits to my chest. The first time I felt it, I was really scared too. I thought I had bronchitis or pneumonia or something. Turns out it was just really bad back pain.

It happens every few months, and the pain is really bad. It's the kind of pain that makes you (or me, anyway) want to cry. Migraines are the only other thing that do that to me.

Try a 'pretzel stretch' and see if that helps at all.

Sit in a chair. Lean forward, put your elbows on your knees. Place your left hand on top of your right knee. Now, put your right hand under your left foot, roughly aligning the fingers of your right hand with the toes of your left foot. Straighten up slightly, lifting your shoulders toward the ceiling, until you feel the muscle along your spine stretch. Hold it for 5-10 seconds, or as long as you can stand it.

If it hurts, aches, etc., then my money is squarely on your chest pain being back pain.

My physical therapist always recommended ice, but I can tell you that heat feels a lot better.

Also, take some NSAIDs. I can't remember what they're called there. Over here it would be ibuprofen.

And also, hugs.

posted by mudpuppie 31 July | 20:41

Aw, seanyboy. Hugs and gentle back rubs to you. I hope it turns out to be nothing and that you're feeling better soon.

posted by jrossi4r 31 July | 20:57

Aw, man. Don't be down on yourself. I'm down on myself enough for me and you, and that's all a waste.

You'll be alright.

You know what works a little? Try to eat one little dark-green salad every day. At first, slather it with gobs of dressing and pour on more soy bacon bits than there is leafies. Anything to get yourself to eat it.

A recent study showed amazing health benefits amongst people who ate as little as the equivalent of three tiny spinach leaves a day (as opposed to other test-subjects who did not.)

Force yourself to eat it. Before long you'll be hooked and you'll notice how much better you feel. Then do the same with one apple a day.

Change slowly and quit beating yourself up!

posted by shane 31 July | 21:39

"dodgy kidneys"

I read that as "dodgy's kidneys". Because I know a guy (girl, technically) who can get them cheap. One, or both. E-mail's in profile.

posted by Eideteker 31 July | 22:39

Also, i am totally willing to obtain fresh kidneys should there be the need.

posted by ethylene 31 July | 22:43

Seanyboy, if you're ill I will fly over there and nurse you back to health with your feverish brow pressed tight to my bosom.

**WAIT, GIRLFRIEND?**

You bastard. I thought I was the only one.

/leaves and takes my bosom with me.

posted by SassHat 31 July | 22:43

Wait, what? Wait--
i just glimpsed myself in a looking glass and i look like a renf air reject--
he's taken or i ''m taken or what what?
Booze?

posted by ethylene 31 July | 22:54

I'm not sure that putting bacon bits on an apple would make it taste better.

Stopy whining, seanyboy and act like a man - you'll be fine. Remember, real men don't cry, ever.

Seriously, though - give up the evil smokes and, even if you do nothing else, you will (eventually) feel a huge amount better. Trust me on this. Then, spend the money you save on fruit and veges and you will be jumping out of your skin.

posted by dg 31 July | 23:06

Oh yeah, since dg mentioned smokes... there's EVIL shit in those. Arsenic, formaldehyde... See, it's called "excito-toxins." From allergic addictions companies (including fast food) have learned that toxins stimulate your body to get rid of the toxins, giving you a small high in the process. So they poison you to excite and addict you.

First step: at least switch to "natural" cigarettes (like, I guess, American Spirit or such, although RJ Reynolds bought them out) that contain only tobacco.

Don't let bastard corporations steal your health and, ultimately, your life, all for their $$greedsoullessprofit.

posted by shane 31 July | 23:26

dg: The only thing that "more bacon" doesn't improve is being buried alive in an avalanche of bacon.

posted by Triode 31 July | 23:33

mmm, baaacon.

hugs to seanyboy and ethylene and whoever else needs them.

Seany, if you want to cry, cry. Do not worry about what others will think, they will think that you need to cry, very most likely. And then watch something funny on TV, or better yet go out and see a movie, alone or with the girl, or to a concert.

And same to you eth, anytime you want to visit the NY contigent, we'll be glad to host you. Give it some time, sweetie.

posted by carmina 31 July | 23:48

"some self indulgent nonsense"

Dude I'm so down deep in that shit I don't know how to find up. It's like quicksand.

Wish I had something positive to say but fuck no!!!

posted by arse_hat 31 July | 23:55

Do i seem so very desperate and sad about it all?
i didn't mean to, but i'm thankful for the offer. i certainly didn't mean to hijack the thread but i do appreciate the offer (and may take you up on it as i don't really want to room with the "rockstars" i know, as much as i love nyc) but i know no one needs to feel as alone as i feel, most certainly not seanyboy, as this is a position i put myself in, by pride or whatever venal sin it might be result of--
--sorry, return of hiccups--

posted by ethylene 01 August | 00:09

(((seanyboy)))

And listen to the Divine Mr Wino, he's nailed it.

posted by deborah 01 August | 00:27

*hugs seanyboy*

posted by brujita 01 August | 00:28

Seanyboy, I appreciate your posts on here, and would love to get a chance to meet you in person.

1. NHS direct is crap.
2. It sound like a pulled muscle but moving into the chest it's is more likley a simply chest infection (did your morning smokers' cough just get worse?)
3. some small changes to start with, even cutting down on the number of fags, can really, really help.
4. You should never hesitate to go to the A&E unit again when dealing with Chest pain. Believe me;- they do not mind. They would rather it in fact than having to resusitate you. It musses up their hair somthing awful. They'd take some bloods, slap on some electrodes on your chest and not even break a sweat. Believe me when I say they prefer that.

posted by Wilder 01 August | 02:23

Oh, baby! When do you see the doctor? Right now, I hope.

I tell you what, get back here with the news that it's something relatively minor, and you and I will go on a health kick together, 'K? We'll totally buddyup and get magnificent... maybe some others around here will feel like jumping on the bunny wagon, too. I'm ready.

posted by taz 01 August | 03:22

How did I miss this last night?

seanyboy, I hope the tests all turn out ok.

But, as others have said, take it as a wake-up call. You're what, mid-30s? Changes now to diet and lifestyle and - especially - giving up smoking will make a huge difference to your quality of life and life expectancy.

I know how hard it is to make big changes because I've done it myself (I've never smoked but I gave up drinking and changed my diet totally over the last few years). And I know it's even harder 'oop north' where people think a man's a 'pouf' if he orders a salad instead of pie and chips.

But we love you, seanyboy, and want you to be here forever. Let us know what the doc says, ok?

posted by essexjan 01 August | 03:43

High thee ho to the osteo!

Sounds similar to when I pulled a muscle that traverses my ribs. Fixed in one visit. Not available on the NHS. I can see if my osteo knows any in your area, if you like.

In other news, here is a smoking joke:

A Palestinian, smoking two cigerettes, walks into a bar and bumps into an old friend of his. After exchanging an embrace his friend asks, 'Hey buddy, why you smoking two cigerettes?'
The Palestinian replies, ' i smoke one because i smoke and one for my brother in prison.'
Five years later, the same Palestinian sees his friend again, but this time smoking just the one cigerette.
Delighted to see him the friend says, 'congratulations habibi! you're brother's been released?'
'No,' says the Palestinian, 'i just gave up smoking'.

Source

posted by asok 01 August | 04:13

doc said there was probably nothing wrong

That's a very good thing. Cause, if they think there may be something, they are usually a bit more circumspect. Keep that thought with you as you look after yourself, both emotionally and physically.

Best wishes, thoughts, karma, voodoo your way.

posted by mightshould 01 August | 07:27

High five, bro, give it here; you'll be tip-top in no time. Other people get scared because they care, and they see you scared, but they realize that you're more scared than they are, and they want to help. They hope helping is more along the lines of sneaking the bacon off your buddy than changing your IV and your bedpan; mostly they just want you to feel better. Like everyone here. Don't be down on yourself, but don't worry if you are. That's sickness talking, and you'll get over that in a trice. Cry if you need, but chin up, you're alright.

posted by Hugh Janus 01 August | 08:06

You're all probably not going to read this, but ...

Thank you everyone. Your words mean a lot to me. I think I just got a bit down and it coincided with feeling ill. You'll be glad to hear that I'm feeling tonnes better now & my moods improved considerably.

And thank you. If this were Ask Metafilter, I would favourite you all.

posted by seanyboy 02 August | 16:45

I read this. You might want to post in Specklet's more recent thread asking if anyone had heard from you. Glad you're feeling better.

posted by matildaben 02 August | 16:51

holy shit.. hugs.

posted by By the Grace of God 02 August | 16:59

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