Hmm. My hair also used to go very light. Cannot say what it would do now, since I almost always wear a wide brimmed hat when I'll be outdoors. I'll try to remember to ask my Mom this evening. She used to be a hairdresser, so may have some anecdotal knowledge.

If it's individual strands turning gray, then it's age. If it's an all-over sort of fadey thing, it's probably just the sun.

Is this a good time to complain about the gray hairs I've been finding? The catch is, they're not on my head. WTF.

I hear you, Speck. I've been finding a lot of them on my arms and torso in the last few weeks... that just ain't right.

If it's individual strands turning gray, then it's age.

No! Wrong answer! Please! :-)

I got a bunch of grays between 18 and 20. I had finally just gotten used to, and fond of, those. I don't need any more. Especially ones that stick out funny when I pull my hair back.

Ah, getting old is fun. You can stop keeping up with trends, you get to be grumpy and you can have bad grooming and odor and nobody will even notice or care.

stop bitching about your hair and gimme my ball back! it was only in your yard for a second!

ha, ha, you're old!

*sticks out tongue at dno*

Old age and treachery still beats youth and beauty every single time. Gray foxes are foxy!

I don't look my age, 43, but crap do I feel it. I pulled the tendon in my ankle a week and a half ago and I'm still limping around. When I was twenty, I was pretty close to being unbreakable and now I feel like I'm always getting hurt somehow. Sucks but it's still better than the alternative.

I feel your pain, occhi - my hair is completely straight, apart from the ever-increasing number of grey ones, which are frizzy. No fair. And I'm younger than you, as well (I remember you saying somewhere that you're over 30?)

Just about to turn 31.

And yeah, I don't mind the white/gray hairs that meekly blend into the rest of my super-straight hair. It's the curly "Look at me! Look at me! I'm CURLY!" gray ones that drive me nuts.

Yeah, I'm getting those— I was blaming the sun too.

Like I said, embrace aging. You can say the same stupid shit but people will think your eaither a 'wise old man' or a 'crazy old coot.' Either way, you'll be tolerated more.

What's wrong with looking your age? Why the fuck would anyone want to look like one of those plastic-wrapped, wide-eyed, insecure little babies anyway? Why would anyone want to look like something less than they are? Why do people remember themselves at eighteen, and want to go back? Ugh! I'll tell you what's worse than growing older, and that's fictionalizing yourself as a permanent 25-year old. Talk about self-limiting. So what if you have grey hairs? Your vanity's telling you something the rest of the world doesn't notice or care about. When you were the youngest in the room, you hated it. Once you weren't any longer, you wish you were. Waste your time thinking about whatever you want, I guess.

This wasn't directed at anyone here in particular; I have a few friends who've been going on about this aging crap ad nauseam, oh no, they're getting older, what the fuck is it about thirty-five that you notice aging for the first time, anyway? I've been getting older for my whole life. It feels good. Get with the program!

It could be worse - I am still not sure whether my hair will turn completely grey first or all fall out first. You can always die your hair, but you can't stick it back in.

I think part of it's just that I feel at such a weird in-between part of my life -- I'm old enough that I should be a "professional," and I do that three days a week among people to whom image is important, but I'm also a grad student, with all the messiness and lack of grooming that generally entails, and I'm old enough that I feel I should look "pulled together" but young enough to also feel annoyed by having to put a hell of a lot of time into it.

I think it's maybe that last point. I used to look groomed without much effort, both because as a young woman I could get away with cheap-ish clothes and little time in front of the mirror. I haven't hit the age at which I'd be old enough for those things to be true again. So I just feel constantly frumpy, at this weird time when I feel I *should* be starting with the hair coloring and the expensive shoes and tailored clothes and non-drug-store makeup, and also torn between two environments in which all those things are either expected or not even thought about.

Sigh. I don't know. Just feeling a little aimless, I guess, and not being able to control my hair doesn't help. I try to pull it back so that I look professional and I end up looking like I've got springs sticking out of my head.

I'm sorry about my rant, it wasn't really directed at you, more at all my actor-type friends who talk for at least twenty minutes a day about how much older we're getting, how we're not going to be able to do "young things" anymore. But I guess they're all caught up in appearing in young lead acting roles and don't realize that serious actors take whatever role they want and make it their own. For people who are given all the tools for maturing into brilliant, together adults, actors sure do get tripped up by vanity quite a bit. And then they'll tell you all about how they've progressed beyond all that.

Jeez. I need to leave work. My mojo is bad right now. I'm sorry I sound like a lecture, occhiblu, it's not really directed at you; my advice is usually bad, but in this case, I'd advise you not to give a shit about it. I wish I had springs sticking out of my head. I need a smoke.

Heh. No offense taken. I took your "This wasn't directed at anyone here in particular" at face value. Just wanted to explore a bit why I did care -- because you're right, in an ideal world I wouldn't.

And it does actually bother me that it bothers me -- 19 strains of "Subvert the patriarchy! Don't give into unrealistic beauty standards!" play through my head every time I frown at my hair in the mirror -- so it was nice to take a few minutes and think about that a bit more in depth.

Though I would say:

But I guess they're all caught up in appearing in young lead acting roles and don't realize that serious actors take whatever role they want and make it their own. For people who are given all the tools for maturing into brilliant, together adults, actors sure do get tripped up by vanity quite a bit.

may not really be fair. It's not like actors always get to choose their own roles -- they have to convince a director, casting agent, producer, and possibly others that they somehow fulfill all those people's vision of what the character should look like. And those interior visions are influenced by all the same societal shit that makes the rest of us feel bad about our appearance -- possibly more so, since people in those roles actually have the power to enforce their visions in direct ways.

I'm not sure that was very clear.... main point: Actors are generally hung up on vanity not because they don't know how to escape it, but because their existence depends on other people judging their appearance. Not always, of course, but I think it's a huge part of the profession/hobby.

Yeah, but it kills me to see a guy who is getting to an age where he can start playing older roles thinking of hanging up his acting career because he hasn't made it as a Tom Cruise. I mean, simple economics tells us that there are way more non-starring roles for older men than starring ones for younger ones; the same may not be quite as true for women (there's a dearth of good parts written for women and the industry is obsessed with female youth), but I think it also applies.

The thing is, most actors aren't good, so they're at the mercy of all those different people to decide where they fit. A good actor makes the role his own, and all those different people have little choice but to agree.

I'm an asshole and a didact, I dunno what's in me today; I'm a demon.

I'm an asshole and a didact, I dunno what's in me today; I'm a demon.

Well, in jon's model, as long as you're old, you're allowed to be as grumpy and didactic as you like. :-)

Well, a young actor can play older roles much more easily than an older actor can play young roles, I guess.

Well, in jon's model, as long as you're old, you're allowed to be as grumpy and didactic as you like. :-)

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