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22 July 2007

In this thread, we post major spoilers. Seriously. Don't look if you don't want to know...[More:]

Soylent Green is people!
Bruce Willis's character is dead.
Grover is the monster at the end of this book.
Rosebud is his sled.
posted by jonmc 22 July | 18:20
The butler did it.
posted by essexjan 22 July | 18:22
This thread has Verbal Kint's dick in a shower and it was all dreamed up by Pamela Ewing!
posted by WolfDaddy 22 July | 19:03
Ms. Plum, in the Conservatory, with the Rope.
posted by Miko 22 July | 19:03
It was the narrator all along, between twenty to nine and ten to.
posted by matthewr 22 July | 19:06
Darth Vader is his father.
They were dead all along.
posted by Daniel Charms 22 July | 19:20
Onegin kills Lensky.
What he doesn't realize is, he's an android himself.
Gandalf isn't dead.
Voldemort's real name is Tom Riddle.
posted by Daniel Charms 22 July | 19:25
Luke kissed his sister!

The little kid was the murderer!

Romeo and Juliet both die! So does Tony and ChinoA

Drew Barrymore dies in the first five minutes!

Debbie Reynolds and Gene Kelly end up falling in love!

They aren't in a 17th century village after all!

Riff Raff and Magenta are actually there to arrest Frank N Furter and take him back to Transexual Trannsylvania!

Hugh Grant gets the girl.


posted by SassHat 22 July | 19:28
It was all a dream. Suzanne Pleshette's in his bed and Patrick Duffy's in the shower.

And those numbers on "Lost"? Their digits appear in EVERY Sudoku game ever published. Coincidence? I think not.
posted by wendell 22 July | 19:31
42
posted by Miko 22 July | 19:34
That chick is a *GUY*!
posted by BoringPostcards 22 July | 20:21
Son_of_Minya eventually does cut off his hand.



Oh, wait, I think I just dreamed that.
posted by dg 22 July | 21:12
Kristin shot J.R.
posted by sisterhavana 22 July | 21:36
[more] is [inside]
posted by stilicho 22 July | 21:51
They end up having sex. (This is the spoiler for every porn film ever made)
The Titanic sinks.
Jerry, George, Elaine, and Kramer end up sharing a jail cell.
The name of the act is The Aristocrats.
posted by sisterhavana 22 July | 21:58
Milk carton expiration date 070716... yep, that's a spoiler.
posted by wendell 22 July | 21:58
Whoa! Kraft LowFat 1000 Island Salad Dressing in refrigerator door... NOV 2006. That gets double-bagged. (But then, I realized in Spring 2006 that I really don't like 1000 Island Dressing anymore. So why did I leave it in there this long? Now THAT'S a mystery.)
posted by wendell 22 July | 22:02
(sigh) The polyps were benign.
posted by rob511 23 July | 01:23
Dude from My Favorite Martian comes to Sean Penn's house on the night of the prom, and insists on tutoring him in history. But then Sean Penn goes to the prom anyway, and sings 'Wooly Bully' with some vaguely Elvis-Costello-looking dude.
posted by box 23 July | 09:27
Everybody gets high and learns some kind of valuable lesson, and then Judd Nelson thrusts his fist into the air.
posted by box 23 July | 10:49
"To Serve Man" is a cookbook.
posted by clevershark 23 July | 11:07
The show never regained the high point it set during its glory years, and, as time went on, ratings slowly dipped, some of the original cast members left, the network began to lost interest, and the last few seasons became increasingly incoherent.
posted by box 23 July | 11:33
Things past are remembered.
posted by Hugh Janus 23 July | 11:40
The whale wins.
posted by box 23 July | 11:44
He gets his wish, but then he breaks his glasses.

Anna, despondent, throws herself beneath the wheels of a train.

Slurm is giant slug poop.
posted by BitterOldPunk 23 July | 13:58
After the children in the original cast became too old to be cutesy-poo, the producers tried to import new, younger kids. But the chemistry (and talent) just wasn't there, and so the results were considered disappointing by everyone.
posted by box 23 July | 14:06
The gray wolf turns out to be a gay wolf, so instead of getting her throat torn out, she gets air-kisses and a gift bag.
posted by Hugh Janus 23 July | 14:25
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