MetaChat - Proper etiquette and neurotic question

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21 July 2007

Proper etiquette and neurotic question →[More:]
If one received an invitation to get together for dinner and drinks last evening for this evening, but the actual plans were not set in stone, would it be odd to call at 11:30 to inquire what these plans are?

I just called my friend and I feel I'm coming off as desperate. Should I have waited for them to call me? These are new friends.

I feel like I'm dating again.

They don't know what the plan is, because they had just woken up. They said they will call back. I said, "no rush".

These uneasy feelings and constant second-guessing are still with me. I'm a freak, people.

post by: LoriFLA at: 10:49 | 15 comments

oh god, this is pathetic. I'm okay, thanks anyway bunnies.

posted by LoriFLA 21 July | 11:20

Not desperate. Desperate would be sitting around silently waiting for the phone to ring, or for them to come swanning around in the evening, whichever came first.

Calling t 11:30 seems totally reasonable to me. You have your day to plan.

posted by Elsa 21 July | 11:23

I agree. Neither odd, desperate nor neurotic, though it might be one of those things where you've got different ideas of planning than these folks, and you're kinda meeting in the middle.

posted by box 21 July | 11:25

In pre-baby days, I too would have been sleeping at 11:30 but having someone call (and wake me) at that time to ask what the plan for the evening was (which happened a few times) wouldn't be in the least bit odd.

Post-baby days I'm the one calling because my schedule is tight. I might even call at nine! ;)

posted by dabitch 21 July | 11:28

Agreed that a call to new friends early in the day, to confirm dinner plans is reasonable. Beyond planning your own day, there may be food preparation and marketing issues to work out, if you or they are cooking. Even if you're going out together, getting the details straight will ensure reservations are honored, etc.

As to the neurosis, here's an apt little ditty you can hum to yourself while waiting for wisdom.

posted by paulsc 21 July | 11:38

Thanks all.

Calling at 11:30 seems totally reasonable to me. You have your day to plan.

That's what I'm thinking.

These are new friends. Friends of friends. We've kinda clicked. It's so difficult to find compatible couple friends, I'm nervous.

An old friend called me at the crack this morning and left a message on my machine because I was still sleeping. I thought nothing of it. But when I do it, I become insecure and nutty.

posted by LoriFLA 21 July | 11:38

11:30 a.m.? Not a big deal at all.

If the friends don't have kids, they may not be thinking about how other people need to have a tiny bit more ahead-time, but they shouldn't find it strange in the least.

Don't be nervous, darling.

posted by taz 21 July | 11:40

Thanks taz.

paulsc, thanks for the beautiful song. I needed it.

posted by LoriFLA 21 July | 11:42

"plan-ahead-time" I meant to say.

posted by taz 21 July | 11:42

That was a totally appropriate thing to do, Lori. I wouldn't worry about it a bit.

posted by BoringPostcards 21 July | 11:44

Thanks BP.

I'm listening to paul's song again, going shopping, and getting a pedicure. That should take my mind off things.

posted by LoriFLA 21 July | 11:55

What everybody else said! Having been in the same worry boat, I totally understand, and have done the same thing many times. Relax, & enjoy your day!

posted by chewatadistance 21 July | 12:22

Thanks chew. The day was fab. I bought a gorgeous new purple top and I have little flowers on my big toes. So not me, but what the hell.

Plans have been made. I'm going to have a good time, and try not to worry about such things in the future. I think a lot of you know that I've been hyper concerned about having friends that my husband likes and that like him. I need to chill.

posted by LoriFLA 21 July | 16:04

I'm sorry, but this made me chuckle: An old friend called me at the crack this morning .... I guess there's a bit of the twelve-year-old boy in us all.

Oh, also, chill - if they are going to be your friends they will be fine with you calling them. If they have a real problem with it, it's their problem, not yours.

posted by dg 22 July | 15:52

You're absolutely right dg, thanks.

posted by LoriFLA 22 July | 17:06

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