MetaChat - Anyone CAN Cook.

Saw that article- thought it looked great!

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 18 July | 11:15

/buys stock in an olive oil company

posted by BoringPostcards 18 July | 11:35

I've been opting for the tablespoon dipped into peanut butter jar meal plan lately.

posted by chewatadistance 18 July | 11:47

I'm a firm believer that cooking from fresh ingredients needn't take any longer than opening a packet of something. My general health and well-being has improved enormously since I gave up eating packaged food for fresh-made meals.

posted by essexjan 18 July | 11:50

It's not the ten minutes of cooking; it's the 45 minutes in the grocery store *and* I live a two minute walk from two grocery stores.

posted by crush-onastick 18 July | 11:53

I’m not counting the time it takes to bring water to a boil
.
.
12 Boil a lobster. Serve with lemon or melted butter.

Okay, so we're not counting the 40 minutes or so that it takes to boil several gallons of water in yer largest stock pot. Are we counting the hour it takes to leave the house and retrieve a live lobster?

posted by Triode 18 July | 11:57

These are great! Hush up, all you sticks in the mud!

posted by Specklet 18 July | 12:09

FYI - you don't need to boil a lobster. Instead, put a couple inches of water in the pan and drop in a couple inverted bowls so that they stick up above the water, bring it to a rolling boil, drop in the bugs and slap on a tight lid. Now you're cooking with steam!

posted by plinth 18 July | 12:57

Or you can rest the lobster on a bed of seaweed, bundle the whole thing up in chickenwire (so that no lobster parts are peeking out) and toss it on a campfire for fifteen minutes.

Now you're cooking with steam and smoke!

posted by Hugh Janus 18 July | 13:01

My general health and well-being has improved enormously since I gave up eating packaged food for fresh-made meals.

OK, I'm going to do it. For about a year now, I've seen statements like this that have baffled me, and I haven't wanted to say anything because I figure I'll come across as snarky, condescending, stupid, I dunno.

But what are these packaged foods? I'm trying to think about what people eat for dinner, what I eat for dinner (and we cook dinner 5 or 6 nights a week, no typical New Yorkers us) and I don't see much in the way of packaging. What is there to eat but vegetables, meats and rice? (Combinations thereof, with yummy seasonings and sauces and suchlike, or soup or something.) Am I missing a whole class of foods in my knowledge? Am I just the blandest cook ever? Seriously, I'm being completely genuine, what do people eat for dinner?

posted by gaspode 18 July | 13:43

But what are these packaged foods?

Hot pockets.

Totino's Party Pizzas.

Stouffer's frozen entrees.

etc.

Or were you being facetious and I missed it?

posted by dersins 18 July | 14:01

no, I really wasn't being facetious. Hence my reluctance to post it. People really eat that stuff for dinner? Huh.

posted by gaspode 18 July | 14:08

Lots of vegetables, meat and rice are "packaged" foods: usually meaning they have the dreaded additives and preservatives and usually extra fat and sale. Zatarains boxed bean meals or instant mashed potatoes, those tortellini in the cheese aisle, taco kits. In addition to frozen pizzas and lean cuisines, that's often what people are referring to when talking about packaged foods.

posted by crush-onastick 18 July | 14:10

Don't forget the Velveeta.

posted by Hugh Janus 18 July | 14:24

I'm... not entirely sure what velveeta is.

*googles*

Ew. Maybe I was better off not knowing.

posted by gaspode 18 July | 14:27

Just cruise through the frozen food aisle, take a good look at the nutrition information (and, more importantly, the actual ingredient/chemical content) on the boxes, and you'll immediately see what people mean when they talking about the benefits of giving up packaged food. I see people stocking up at the store who apparently live entirely off those things (and I'm not talking about the "Lean Cuisine" sodium-fests either - it's invariably someone buying 15 frozen pizzas and a bunch of "Hungry Man" 1500 calorie dinners). Those people never look very healthy.

posted by cmonkey 18 July | 14:33

No, man, don't diss the velveeta! See what you do is you take like a brick of velveeta (that's the official velveeta measuring quantity, a brick, just like those weird cold sausages you get in Christmas packages from corporations are officially measured in, get this, chubs) and you cut it up into brickettes and you open a can of Ro-Tel, which is God's own holy tomato sauce, and dump it in that microwave safe bowl with the Velveeta and then you nuke the hell out of it and what you get is a big hit at parties: indescribably delicious indestructible neon orange hot spicy dip that you scoop up with tortilla chips. And it's even better the next day when you're hungover.

posted by mygothlaundry 18 July | 14:36

mmm....queso.

posted by dersins 18 July | 14:42

That's what I'm saying, yo! Velveeta made me what I am today. Slice some sections outta the brick, make grilled cheese sandwiches; nothing melts better. Mac & cheese made with Velveeta? Fuckin' A, yeah, no, Fuckin' V! Fuckin' V for Victory, Velveeta, yeah! USA! USA! USA!

Hey, does Velveeta have steroids in it or something? I feel a little euphoric, confused, sleepy, anxious, and paranoid, and I've been hallucinating all day, crazy hallucinations that I, get this, you're never gonna believe it: I've been hallucinating that I'm not a pro wrestler after all, and I spent the whole day working for an investment bank. Wild, huh? BOOOYEAH, HAH!

posted by Hugh Janus 18 July | 14:42

gaspode, my sister exists on things like cup-a-soup, Findus frozen pancakes, pasta that comes in a sachet with powdered sauce made from chemicals, frozen pies, powdered mashed potatoes, even, God help us , frozen baked potatoes ready-stuffed with 'savoury' filling, etc., etc. - absolutely nothing made from scratch from the actual ingredients. And everything stuffed with 'flavour enhancers' and preservatives.

When I took her shopping a few weeks ago, we ventured into aisles I'd forgotten existed because they're not on my shopping map.

I'm all for people having freedom of choice and if my sister wants to eat chemicals, well, good for her, but I do not buy the argument that those foods are 'convenient'.

Tonight for dinner I had a chicken breast, cut into strips, marinated for five minutes in olive oil, crushed garlic and herbs, then stir-fried and served over a salad. Prep/marinating time about 6 minutes, cooking time about 10 minutes.

posted by essexjan 18 July | 14:52

I'm having an emergency 10-minute-it-was-too-hot-to-walk-a-mile-to-the-store -or-do-anything-really meal: mushroom ramen cooked with an egg thrown in it then mixed with raw tomato, lettuce, cucumber, zucchini, and some greens that I don't know what they're called in English. With olive oil. It's actually pretty yumsky

posted by taz 18 July | 14:55

mmm yum, we're having something similar tonight, essexjan.

posted by gaspode 18 July | 14:57

Do not speak ill of Velveeta. Or Cheez Whiz. They are orangey marvels of science.

And although I try to cook as healthfully as I can as often as I can, there are days when if I did not have the ability to serve pre-packaged salad and frozen manicotti, I would lose my will to live. No joke.

posted by jrossi4r 18 July | 15:28

That's what I'm saying, jrossi4r, not only is Velveeta the sole reason I've never had a cavity, but it put hair on my chest, deepened my voice, stuffed half a million dollars in a briefcase I'm still chasing, set up a zipline between the 23rd floor of my office building and the PS1 art museum across the river that I can (due to the superhuman strength Velveeta endowed me with) fly home on, piloted the tugboat on which I escaped from the Nazis in 1940, and just pushed the buttons on my jacuzzi to make me perfectly comfortable. I'd be dead ten times over if it weren't for Velveeta. I owe my life to Velveeta. If Velveeta was single, well, let me just say Velveeta wouldn't be single for long. I would die for Velveeta, and I think Velveeta would die for me. That's trust. That's love. I love Velveeta, and I'll love Velveeta until the day I die.

posted by Hugh Janus 18 July | 15:37

I'm going to have a frozen pizza tonight and I can barely frickin' wait!

posted by eamondaly 18 July | 15:48

*sniff*

That was beautiful, Hugh. It EXACTLY describes my experience with Velveeta. Although it never set up a zip line for me. It did jump my car in a Target parking lot once. It was really cold and kinda late and I know it had better things to do, so I really appreciated that. Plus, it told me to go wait inside where it was warm since there was no reason for us to both be freezing, which was just extra nice. But, you know, that's Velveeta.

posted by jrossi4r 18 July | 15:51

Velveeta put hair on your chest?

Uh, wow.

posted by Hugh Janus 18 July | 15:53

You might want to heat it up a bit, eamon.

posted by plinth 18 July | 15:56

It's very fine and light. Not real noticable, but it keeps me warm.

posted by jrossi4r 18 July | 16:03

Hey, that sounds functional and elegant. Velveeta just gave me a massage and called me a cab. Gotta go!

posted by Hugh Janus 18 July | 16:06

Velveeta, bah! What you want are the individually-wrapped-in-plastic slices of genuine American cheese! Because--individual! American! Plus, the plastic!

posted by kat allison 18 July | 17:48

People really eat that stuff for dinner?

I'm... not entirely sure what velveeta is.

These are two of the better lines I've heard on MetaChat in a while.

Good on you, gaspode.

posted by jason's_planet 18 July | 18:17

"64 slices of American cheese" (WAV file)

I don't think I've eaten a ready/convenience meal in about 3 years. And it's good. Really good. Last night I made my own bread for the first time and it turned out really well. I;m definitely going to explore that more.

posted by TheDonF 18 July | 19:44

In my college days (which people sometimes call "the salad days" but no one ate salad then) I made a PB&J sandwich at the cafeteria with an inch of peanut butter. It took forever to bite through.

posted by kirkaracha 18 July | 22:27

EJ, I think Nora in Glenn Savan's White Palace would be a woman after your sister's heart. When I was little, I liked individually wrapped American "cheese" slices--and the strip that sometimes broke off always tasted the best--but now, bleah! Chupahija was a snot about Hostess--she called them "Dinkies and Twongs"--and I used to sneak them into my room from the corner market...but as I've gotten older, yuck too.

posted by brujita 19 July | 00:26

18 July 2007