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17 July 2007

Clarity [More:]
My sister and I have this running joke. We have regular "epiphanies!" Since I was a teen I would report, "I've had an epiphany!" Most of these were trivial little realizations, and not actual epiphanies at all.

Since I've been going to therapy it is so clear to me that I have a wonderful husband and pretty nice life. Through talk therapy is has become evident that I have been repeating and living my mother's life and my childhood. This is something that I should have easily saw, but didn't have the insight. My therapist didn't really offer this possibility that I am reliving behaviors of my childhood, I realized it on my own. Or maybe she did, but I didn't realize it.

I feel so much better only after 5 or 6 sessions with a therapist. I'm not completely "healed", and I'm no where near perfect, but I feel better about my life and my marriage. I'm going to continue to see a therapist for a little longer.

I don't know if this post has a point, and an epiphany is the wrong word to describe my feelings, but I feel content with my life. I've always heard that I've had a good thing, but now I really believe it, and am so grateful for it.
And thanks for letting me share this personal, boring stuff. I just wanted to get it out.
posted by LoriFLA 17 July | 11:20
:-D Yay!
posted by ThePinkSuperhero 17 July | 11:20
Nice job Lori! Sometimes it takes an educated, removed, second party to help us get that perspective on our lives. The examined life, in my opinion anyway, is the only one worth living. I've bounced stuff of various friends over the years, and had a couple of sit downs with pros here and there in the last couple of years. It sure can be helpful.
posted by richat 17 July | 11:23
That's awesome, Lori. That a very good epiphany to have. :)

And I'm glad, too, that your decision to see a therapist is paying off for you! I wish more people would make that leap... I know several folks who I just KNOW would be happier if they did something like this, but it's not something you can talk people into, I think. They have to make the decision for themselves.
posted by BoringPostcards 17 July | 11:24
What an awesome post, and heartening!
posted by By the Grace of God 17 July | 11:30
Therapy has been something that I've thought was okay for other people, but it was something I considered myself much too smart for. It took bottoming out earlier in the year and a need to "try anything...even therapy" to go. Technically I haven't heard anything that I didn't already know, but in the format of therapy your thoughts become better organized. And a therapist can draw attention to key points and connect the dots, which makes it easier for you to come up with a plan of action. Although there have been a few things that were brought up that just floored me in a "how did I not see that!?!?" way.

I understand the epiphanies you speak of. For me I called them "moments of clarity", where suddenly many parts of your life seem more clear and easier to evaluate. I see my expectation of therapy as lessening the gaps between those moments of clarity to where they're the norm (then I guess I'd have moments of un-clarity?).

Glad it's working for you. Keep it up as long as you're getting something from it. I'm not sure how long I'll go for, but for now it's definitely helpful in heling me in getting my shit together. The hardest part for me was getting over some self-induced shame I had about even seeing a therapist. I'm actually a bit startled that I'm writing about it here - up until a few months ago I never would have done that.

posted by Slack-a-gogo 17 July | 12:51
Good for you LoriFLA! It's a gift to be able to appreciate what we have when we have it - and it's one of those things, I think, that may be even sweeter when one has had to wrangle with their psyche a bit in order to achieve it.
posted by taz 17 July | 12:52
Good for you! I'm so glad the therapy is helping!

And yes, those sorts of epiphanies (and this is certainly one) are often very hard to get to about our own lives.
posted by occhiblu 17 July | 12:55
I love epiphanies!
posted by mischief 17 July | 13:16
Hear hear!
posted by Specklet 17 July | 13:30
Yay! Glad it has shed some light for you.
posted by chewatadistance 17 July | 19:29
Thanks all. I appreciate it.
posted by LoriFLA 17 July | 20:18
Excellent!

I don't know if this post has a point . . . . but I feel content with my life.


You're happy. That's the point.

And that is too cool.
posted by jason's_planet 17 July | 20:21
Why do people let cats sleep on their inflatable bed || This lady from Kiev

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