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31 May 2007

Paul needs a roommate And he has some very high standards.
This all said, I'm not even remotely the prick I'm coming off like on this posting.

posted by Specklet 31 May | 16:33
If I'm going the roommate route, I don't want to live in any place that's LESS than 3200 or so a month for a 2BR

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 31 May | 16:33
I love this part: By my last count I've dated two NFL Cheerleaders, paegent queens in three different states and would say that overall I bring a pretty solid track record to the table.
posted by smich 31 May | 16:35
Kind of disappointing....I was hoping he'd spend more time describing all the hot ass he's gotten.
posted by iconomy 31 May | 16:36
My typing fingers are getting itchy....
posted by mudpuppie 31 May | 16:39
I know nothing about Chicago real estate- is $3200 a lot?
posted by ThePinkSuperhero 31 May | 16:40
$3200 is a lot for a 2-bedroom. You can get a nice 2-bedroom for $1500-$2000; super-duper nice ones for more, but $3200 is excessive. You can get some that are called 2-bedrooms but are actually 1+office/den for less, starting at around $800, but the $800 ones aren't so hot usually.
posted by smich 31 May | 16:42
Oooh, mudpuppie, I was thinking of you, er, Olena, when I posted this!
posted by smich 31 May | 16:42
That $3200 place sounds pretty nice, though.
posted by box 31 May | 16:51
From his MySpace:

Who I'd like to meet:
A future soccer mom in training.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero 31 May | 16:55
Other than the use of the term "wingman," which implies they are working for you, without any offer to reciprocate, and without meeting the guy, I say why not? It's hard to find happiness in this world, and NFL Cheerleaders and paegent queens need a little help sometimes, too.
posted by StickyCarpet 31 May | 17:15
Oh pup, I wish you would...
posted by Specklet 31 May | 17:20
Seconding Specklet.
posted by getoffmylawn 31 May | 17:51
He didn't sound so bad to me. He's looking for a friend & he wants someone who'll live in an expensive place. He's happy paying more than you. He likes dogs. He's got a sense of humour. He's a bit full of himself, but that's hardly worthy of olena-ing.
posted by seanyboy 31 May | 18:05
By my last count I've dated two NFL Cheerleaders, paegent queens in three different states

What's great about this (besides the hilarious "I Am a Stud" tone) is that it implies that he may have actually dated more cheerleaders/pageant queens, but he's unable to keep track of numbers greater than 2 or 3 without periodically counting.
posted by scody 31 May | 18:12
Are there any one-legged Ukranian cheerleaders in the house?
posted by pieisexactlythree 31 May | 18:16
He's a lobbyist. I got a fairly good taste for that profession when I gave it a whirl when I lived near DC back in '02.

Lobbyists are even slimier than salepeople. They have no fear of saying anything, truth or lie, to anyone, friend or stranger. They can absorb an agenda in one sitting and then spew back the same ideas with whatever spin best fits the target.

Since he is single, he needs a killer apartment for entertaining, the best he can afford, and thus the wingman reference. He is out to woo decision-makers and anyone who shares the space absolutely must be on his side.

If he was headed to New York instead, DumbCo's could rent their apartment to him.
posted by mischief 31 May | 20:34
Also, a wingman is how guys crack women who travel in pairs. The wingman distracts the friend(s) while the stud lands his prey, and if the wingman happens to score with the friend, that's just icing on the cake.

Obviously, the wingman and the stud swap roles on successive nights. The perfect wingman is a gay guy (for the obvious reasons). Also, two bisexual guys make a fantastic team.

Another setting is a male/female team looking for a threesome with another female. The two tagteam the target and after they determine which of them the target prefers, the other distracts the friend(s) while the hook is set.
posted by mischief 31 May | 20:55
People, I think you miss the subtle humanity of this Craig's List post. "Paul" does not need a roomate, he is offering a wonderful opportunity to a potential "wingman." Respect.

'Cause there are people out there who are gonna recognize this as a helluva opportunity. If you're gonna be sorry for someone, if you're gonna get all, you know, judgemental on someone, get with the program. It's about the potential "wingman." 'Cause you know someone "real" is gonna reply.
posted by paulsc 31 May | 21:40
Having never heard that particular phrase (wingman), I am in awe of mischief's knowledge.
posted by Zack_Replica 31 May | 22:09
At least he's being upfront about things, even if he is a fuckwit.

You've never heard the phrase "wingman"? I find that odd for some reason.
posted by dg 01 June | 02:39
Paul embodies just about everything I hate in people, but I also get the feeling that he really loves his dog. So I'm torn - can someone be a total shitbag and still love their dog?
posted by cmonkey 01 June | 03:43
The name Schickelgruber springs to mind.
posted by Atom Eyes 01 June | 15:05
Atom Eyes: Does that count as a godwin?
posted by CitrusFreak12 01 June | 15:22
After reading that, I really wanted to kick him square in the nuts. But I'm sure he's a great guy.

I can't believe he didn't put in his demand of any roommate to sit when he pees because it helps keep the bathroom cleaner.
posted by fenriq 02 June | 00:38
Adult Recess || Chris Cornell (Soundgarden, Bond theme, etc) covers Michael Jackson's "Billie Jean"