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18 May 2007

THIS IS A SHOUTING THREAD [More:]THE FUCKING CARPET PEOPLE PUT SCOTCH GUARD ON MY RUGS WHEN I SAID NOT TO!! THIS AFTER KNOCKING A CRYSTAL OFF THE CHANDELIER, BREAKING MY TOILET, LEAVING THEM FOR ME TO FIND AND THEN TRYING TO FLIRT !! TRYING TO MILK AS MUCH CASH AS POSSIBLE OUT OF ME ISN'T DOING ME A GODDAMN FAVOR, YOU FUCKING MAMZER!!!!*, I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF PEOPLE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF ME!!! I FORGOT TO GET A FORM TO MY NEIGHBORS IN TIME, BUT THE ONE WITH WHO I'LL HAVE THE PROBLEMS HAD PICTURES OF HIS PLACE IN ARCHITECTURAL DIGEST--HE DIDN'T GIVE ME THIS EITHER WHEN HE SHOULD HAVE,AND HE'S THE REASON WHY I'VE BEEN SLEEPING ON THE FLOOR. THE MICE HAVE COME BACK AND ARE IGNORING THE GLUE TRAPS. THE DESIGNER IS IGNORING MY INSTRUCTIONS TO SPEAK WITH MY LAWYER; I DON'T FUCKING WANT HER IN MY PLACE!
*a mamzer is the child of a a married woman who has been cuckolding her husband
SHOUTING, THIS EARLY IN THE MORNING? BUT I HAVEN'T EVEN HAD MY COFFEE YET... sorry for your troubles, though. (You have a chandelier?)
posted by Pips 18 May | 05:53
a crystal chandelier over the toilet?
posted by birdherder 18 May | 07:45
Oy va voy! I'm sorry to hear of your troubles, Brujita. I recommend a cat, if you like them and aren't allergic to them. They work best against mice, and are much more humane than glue traps. A cat, or maybe a big iguana.

I bet, when all is said and done, you'll have a much nicer place than that AD putz.
posted by Hugh Janus 18 May | 07:54
(You have a chandelier?)


NOT ANY MORE! FUCKING CARPET PEOPLE!

(Here, Pips, have a cup of my piping hot lava. It's caffeinariffic. It's thick! Cream and sugar?)

(Mmm, coffee... Should I be able to see my heart beating in my chest?)

(Should everyone else?)
posted by Elsa 18 May | 07:56
THE CHANDELIER IS IN THE DINING ROOM. I WOULD LOVE A CAT BUT CAN'T GET ONE UNTIL ALL THE WORK IN MY PLACE IS FINISHED AND THAT INCLUDES THE BATHROOMS.
posted by brujita 18 May | 09:09
I STAYED OUT UNTIL 2AM, WHICH IS QUITE LATE FOR ME, FLIRTING WITH SOME RANDOM GUY WHO IS THE COMPLETE OPPOSITE OF MY TYPE! IT WAS FUN TO FLIRT AGAIN AND EVEN MORE FUN TO FLIRT WITH SOME GUY WHOM I WOULD NEVER NORMALLY FLIRT WITH! THAT WAS THE HAPPY PART, THE BAD PART IS I'M EXHAUSTED, HAVE TO SPLIT A BIGILLION CELLS AND SPEND THREE HOURS ON THE MICROSCOPE IN A DARK ROOM WITHOUT FALLING ASLEEP!!

I'M SORRY ABOUT ALL THE "FUN" IN YOUR LIFE BRUJITA, I HOPE YOU GET IT RESOLVED WITHOUT HAVING TO HIDE TOO MANY BODIES!
posted by LunaticFringe 18 May | 09:17
NONE OF MY FRIENDS ARE GOING TO SEE THE REVEREND HORTON HEAT AND I DON'T WANT TO GO ALONE. I'M ALMOST TO THE POINT OF OFFERING TO BUY SOMEONE A TICKET JUST SO I'LL HAVE SOMEONE TO GO WITH. I HATE GOING ALONE TO CONCERTS.
posted by kellydamnit 18 May | 09:41
I HATE HAVING TO HIRE PEOPLE TO DO STUFF IN MY HOME THAT I KNOW I CAN'T DO MYSELF, ONLY TO DISCOVER THAT I PROBABLY WOULD BUNGLE IT LESS SO THAN THE PEOPLE I HIRED! IT'S TRICKY. I HAVE HAD VERY GOOD LUCK IN THE HOUSTON AREA USING THIS WEBSITE. FROM THAT SITE I FOUND A ROOFER THAT IS ACTUALLY NOT A TOTAL RIP-YOU-OFF SCUMBAG, AND EVEN BETTER, I LIKE THE GUY, HE'S AFFORDABLE, AND DOES AWESOME WORK. IT ONLY TOOK ME LIKE FOUR YEARS TO FIND HIM.

ELSA, I WOULD LIKE A CUPPA, PLEASE. REAL CREAM AND REAL SUGAR PLEASE. THANK YOU DEAR.
posted by WolfDaddy 18 May | 09:50
HERE YOU ARE, WOLDDADDY. REALLY PUT YOUR ARM INTO THE STIRRING. THIS STUFF IS STRONG.

NOW, DON'T TURN THE CUP ENTIRELY UPSIDE DOWN LIKE THAT; EVENTUALLY THAT COFFEE WILL POUR OUT, AND A FINE MESS WE'LL HAVE ON OUR HANDS THEN.
posted by Elsa 18 May | 10:14
NO ONE WANTS MY STUPID PAINTING SO I WON'T GET TO GO TO NEW YORK! WAH WAH WAH!
posted by Mrs.Pants 18 May | 10:57
I WAS JUST TOLD THAT JUNKPROS DIDN'T HAVE THE INSURANCE INFO FILLED OUT CORRECTLY EVEN THOUGH I TOLD THEIR RECEPTIONIST THE RIGHT WAY HOW! I HAD GIVEN HER MY EMAIL BUT SHE SAID IT WASN'T GOING THROUGH AND SHE DID NOT BOTHER TO CALL ME YESTERDAY AND LET ME KNOW THIS !!!!SO THEY WERE NOT LET UP TO MY PLACE AND THE KITCHEN WORK CAN'T START MONDAY!!! APPARENTLY THERE HAS BEEN A CHANGE ABOUT WHICH I WAS NOT TOLD! GODDAMNIT!!!!!
posted by brujita 18 May | 13:09


KELLYDAMNIT, I GO TO CONCERTS BY MYSELF ALL THE TIME.
posted by brujita 18 May | 13:12
I FEEL FUNNY AND SHY AND SELF CONSCIOUS LIKE EVERYONE WILL BE LOOKING AT ME. MOSTLY BECAUSE I AM A NUTCASE, I KNOW. BUT KNOWING DOES NOT MAKE IT ANY EASIER.
posted by kellydamnit 18 May | 15:21
I DID SKETCHES OF THE FIRST FOUR DAYS OF METACHAUNAKKAH BUT I PUT THEM IN A BOOK THAT WON'T OPEN FLAT FOR THE SCANNER. THE IDEA WAS TO MAKE IT A METACHAT BOOK BUT I WILL HAVE TO SLICE OUT THE PAGES TO SCAN THEM AND THAT DEFEATS THE POINT GODDAMMIT.

MEANWHILE, Kitty! COMING! AND IT'S THE NIGHT OF ANIMAL APPRECIATION (second night of Metachaunakkah)!
posted by ethylene 18 May | 16:16
IS THERE ONE FUCKING PIECE OF EQUIPMENT IN THIS MOTHERFUCKING BUILDING THAT ACTUALLY WORKS AS ADVERTISED? IíM NOT ASKING FOR NEW EQUIPMENT, MIND YOU. MERELY FUNCTIONAL TOOLS WOULD BE LIKE A VISIT FROM MOTHERFUCKING SANTA IN JULY.

AND WHILE IíM ON THE TOPIC, IíM SICK TO FUCKING DEATH OF HAVING TO CLEAN UP OTHER PEOPLEíS SHIT (LITERALLY, ON MORE THAN ONE OCCASION) BECAUSE SOMEONE ELSE COULDNíT/WOULDNíT DO THEIR JOB PROPERLY. FUCK THAT NOISE. I DONíT NEED A WHOLE LOT TO DO MY JOB PROPERLY; ALL I REALLY NEED IS CORRECT, CURRENT INFORMATION, TOOLS THAT WORK, AND OTHER PEOPLE TO DO THEIR JOBS AND NOT LEAVE IT FOR THE NIGHT GUY. IS THAT REALLY SO MUCH TO ASK? DO I REALLY NEED TO BE PUNISHED FOR BEING COMPETENT?

ALSO: SEATTLE IS RAPIDLY BECOMING AN UNLIVABLE SHITHOLE. ANY BUILDING OVER TWENTY YEARS OLD IS IN REAL DANGER OF BEING PLOWED UNDER. DEVELOPERS COME IN, SEE A HAPPY, HEALTHY NEIGHBORHOOD FULL OF CHARMING OLDER HOMES, AND IMMEDIATELY START BUYING HOUSES RIGHT AND LEFT SO THEY CAN GUT THE PLACE AND FILL IT WITH CONDOS AND HIDEOUS FUCKING QUADS. ITíS CHEAP-ASS CONSTRUCTION THAT WONíT LAST TEN YEARS, AND ITíS GONNA BE A MASSIVE EYESORE UNTIL IT FINALLY FALLS IN ON ITSELF Ė HOPEFULLY CRUSHING THE MORONS THAT BUILT IT ALONG WITH THOSE BOUGHT IT. HAD I THE MEANS, I WOULD GLADLY STUFF EACH AND EVERY REAL ESTATE SPECULATOR, DEVELOPER, REALATOR, AND CONDO DWELLER INTO A HUGE ROCKET SHIP AND LAUNCH THEM DIRECTLY INTO THE HEART OF THE MOTHERFUCKING SUN, ASAP, WITH THAT SHITSTAIN PAUL ALLEN STRAPPED TO THE NOSECONE.

FINALLY, I SWEAR THAT I WOULD KILL SOMEBODYíS GRANNY FOR A SMOKE RIGHT NOW. IíD FEEL BAD ABOUT IT AFTERWARDS, OF COURSE. STILLÖ
posted by bmarkey 19 May | 00:01
Paging chrismear, || If I may,

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