(((hadjiboy)))

My mom just called from Mumbai; she’s been over there with my sis visiting our folks. I told her to get back here asap (she’s scheduled to arrive day after tomorrow, and not a moment too soon). There was a bomb blast in the city today, near Charminar, at Mecca Masjid, and 5 people have been killed, and a whole lot injured. I was wishing I was somewhere near that bomb blast, and it wiped me out, or at least hurt me a little, so that I had a good excuse for not showing up for work.

*hugs*

I think you should talk to your boss. You will definitely get fired if you just disappear but if you explain the reason(s) behind your behaviour then you may get to keep your job. You don't have to tell him all the nitty-gritty details but just enough for him to see that you're having an "issue" and working to resolve it. Oh yeah, and don't forget to breathe. Take some nice deep breaths and let them out slowly. It always works for me when I need to start calming down about something.

*hugs, well wishes, good thoughts for you and your mom*

.

About that blast, wow. I'm glad you weren't there hadjiboy and my heart goes out to the families of the dead and the victims. I will never understand the mentality behind violence like that.

Thanks for the Hugs guys, I really appreciate it.

Lunatic—do you think working at a job you don’t like is better than not working at all? I’m, or was rather, at least until I talk to my boss, working as a telemarketer for a job portal, and before I get into the nitty-gritty’s of it, let me tell you something about my self. I’m, I don’t know, different. For lack of a better word. I see people around me, punching in, doing there work, and going home, and I ask my self—what have I done this day. Sure, in the beginning, when I was in the haze of the newness of it all, I was swept up in it too to not realize that I didn’t like it much. The people working over there told me that the company wasn’t that good, that all they were concerned with was turning a profit, and it looks like that’s what all companies are concerned with. I don’t know what to do about that. I’m not very qualified, or qualified at all (High school drop-out to tell you the truth), to do any other sort of work, so right now this is the only source of income I can look forward to. But my dream, and this is what I always fall back on, is to write a memoir about my life in Saudi Arabia, and how different it was than the one that I now lead in India, and how difficult it was to transition between the two, and not to mention the burden of having grown up with an American Centric Culture.

PS. Thankfully, none of my family (who stay there) was seriously injured in the blast; there is an uncle who got hit by some shrapnel though.

hadjiboy, you are well liked here. I hope you get to feeling better. As for the job, sudden onset of sickness seems like a pretty good excuse for skipping out of work. Just don't be very specific about it.

On preview: it sounds like you don't really like the job all that much. While it's true that all businesses are chiefly concerned with profits, that doesn't mean that all workplaces are created equal. If your work environment has become toxic to you, you might want to start scouting out other job opportunities in your spare time. I've always found job hunting to be much more bearable when I've got a current job to fall back on. The situation is less desperate, and you've got some measure of control. Sometimes, just telling yourself that your current situation isn't permanent is mental liberation enough to get you through the day.

Words are inadequate in the face of such violence.

Oh, dear.

do you think working at a job you don’t like is better than not working at all?

Only you can answer that for yourself, as of course you know. I do know that lots of people who aren't fulfilled by their paid work find something unpaid that rewards them and helps them recharge. For me, it's school. For some, it's volunteer work for a cause dear to them. For you, maybe it would be working on your memoir in off hours.

*hugs hadjiboy bashfully, as we don't really know each other yet*

It's completely possible to work a day job for money and do something with your free time that you enjoy, or that will make the world a better place. It's important to put food on the table and cash in your pocket, especially since you're supporting your family, too, but that doesn't mean you have to become a corporate drone like the people you see around you.

You could take night classes, or join a writing group on the weekends. You could volunteer (I don't know anything about UK service organizations, but I assume they have something like the American Habitat for Humanity or Big Brothers/Big Sisters. Both of these are activity-based, to get you out of the house!)

Good luck! Jobs come and go, so don't let them stress you or ruin your life. Take care of yourself. It'll work out.

Oops, sorry about that muddgirl; I’d chosen English EU as my locale since there wasn’t an “Indian” option in it (tugs on Taz’s sleeve to have it put in there somewhere:)). Is that what you meant by joining up for a UK arm of the American Habitat for Humanity or Big Brothers/Sisters? We don’t have that particular charity over here, but I’m sure there’s loads of work to be done in our neck of the woods as well. And that’s what I thought I was doing at the firm that I was working with; I thought we were getting jobs to people who needed them. But as it turns out, it’s just a numbers game. The guys on the top aren’t worried about the schlock at the bottom who so desperately wants to move up in the world, and thinks that by applying to this firm, he will—that may be his prayers will be answered. Nope—ain’t gonna happen. And this is what people who’ve worked over there for a year at least tell me, and they do it so casually, as if it’s to be expected. Damn.

I certainly don't know all the ins and outs of your job market, but I think that for most people who enter the job market early (rather than finishing school, I mean), you're almost forced to take jobs you don't really like, in an effort to get enough experience or work history in order to get jobs you *do* like. In a way, you either need to put in the time (and money) in school or you need to put in the time (and effort) in kinda-shitty jobs.

Which doesn't mean that you should have to put up with really shitty jobs, but it does seem like, maybe, if you want to get better jobs, the best thing to do would be buckle down and get some experience?

Again, I'm speaking from an American viewpoint, and even here the "Rise from mailroom clerk to CEO" idea is a bit of a myth these days, so I'm not sure how well this translates to India... But it still seems like having a steady job on your resume would help in finding other, better jobs, yes?

In any event, *hugs*. It sounds like you're having a rough time, and I do hope it gets better. I just watched a college-dropout ex-boyfriend quit job after job after job because they weren't good enough for him, and while he was right that he was probably smarter than the other people working at any of those places, he had no college diploma or work history to prove that to anyone, and his apathy while on the job certainly wasn't going to convince any bosses that he should be running the place.

Sometimes you just have to suck it up and do your time.

On preview: Even if you can't move up at your own firm, though, I still think that having longer, steady stints on your resume would help get better jobs elsewhere? Or not?

Thanks occhiblu—you’re advice is as sound as always, and I’ll try and do the best I can to imbibe some of it.

And about the people at the firm—not that I’m any better; I could go out into the world and offer whatever services I can for free, to a Charity or Aid Organization, but I want to have some money in my pocket that I can spend on my family and myself. I want to lead the good life, but I want to lead it in the right way. I want to help other people, but I want to help myself too. I just haven’t figured out how to do that yet, and every time I think I’ve got the problem licked (like with this job portal work), it suddenly dawns on me that I’m not really making much of a difference. And that’s what destroys any chance I have of happiness.

back-and-forth on taking my meds

Insert obligatory statement about "Come on man that ain't cool ya gotta keep up on your meds or else this will probably be a whole lot harder."

And yeah, talk to your boss. Go back to work. Explain things. But as you work their, look for something better.

My mother always says that you have your job (which you probably don't like) and you have your work or lifework (which is meaningful but probably doesn't pay). For a lot of people here, their "job" is a soulless tech job and their "work" is art.

In some ways this makes both parts of their lives easier. If you have to earn a living at your "work" it can take away the freshness and control of it. For instance, if you're a painter and you have to make all your paintings marketable, painting can turn into a job, and not your lifework.

And on the job side- if you don't feel like your job has to be meaningful, you aren't beating yourself up for not having a job that's soul-fulfilling, or ambitious, or prestigious- you have something else that fills those needs.

I definitely think a job you don't like is better than no job. A job where you're actively persecuted is not better than no job. So it all depends, as always.

Not sure this made sense. I haven't have any caffeine yet today.

do you think working at a job you don’t like is better than not working at all?

Now there's a question and a half...

If given the luxury of not needing to work, well, I'd be out the door so fast there'd be small fires where my toes hit the ground.
However, not working means not paying rent, heat, food, and so forth for me, so bad things would happen.

I've always said, much like small_ruminant, that your job isn't your love. Your job is just what you do to keep a roof over your head and money in your pockets so you can do what you love. And it is true, when you're working in a "creative" field, it does very easily become drudgery and work.

Case in point... I love to sew. Have for years, since my grandmother taught me on her vintage machine when I was knee high to a grasshopper.
I've been doing a lot of comission work as of late, nothing major, but it helps pay the bills. Sewing patches (hey, my friends are punks), taking stuff in, letting it out, hemming, etc.

I haven't made a damn thing for myself in longer than I can remember. I have the fabric, everything's set to go, but whenever I sit down to get working all I think is "oh god, I don't want to even LOOK at a straight pin or thread now." because I'm so sick of it.

I have the fabric, everything's set to go, but whenever I sit down to get working all I think is "oh god, I don't want to even LOOK at a straight pin or thread now." because I'm so sick of it.

Heh, you sound like my mum in that one.

I’m still not too sure about the whole going back to the job thing, they’ll ask me why I behaved the way I did, and while I can say that I panicked and that it’ll never happen again, I honestly can’t promise that it won’t. What if after a month’s time I pull the same thing again? And besides, I’m highly doubtful if my Manager will let me anywhere near the office again after the stunt I pulled. Sheesh! Why couldn’t life be simpler than this???

Can't you just tell them it was something you ate?

Hey, man, you're alright; gimme five!

Don't let work get you down; the fact that you're concerned means you have a good sense of propriety; it's no big deal to miss work because you're sick, and if your boss doesn't know that, you should tell him. Seriously, the idea that people should be pressured to work when they're sick is stupid. Though we work for companies, ultimately we work for people. If the person you work for is such a blockhead that he doesn't understand the simple fact that people get sick and can't work, well, he isn't worth working for, and you should explain that to the company you both work for.

In short, go in tomorrow (or whenever you're feeling better, and say, "I was sick." If he starts to beetle his brow, say, "People get sick, and only a blockhead would want sick people at work; it's bad for both public health." If he starts to hiss, say, "I'm sure you don't really think sick people should be at work, but if you do, I think the wonderful company we both work for should be informed that you are a blockhead." If he starts to yell, say, "Shush, blockhead, your breath makes me sick. Peddle your wares to someone who cares; I'm going home."

"...it's bad for both public health and morale."

Damn Friday-brain.

Thanks for putting a smile back on my face, Hugh:)

small, the thing is, I didn't even tell anyone that I was leaving, and just walked out. I think they're going to probe me pretty good for that one. Sadly, lol. But at least now I can laugh about it.

*gives Hugh High Five*

I don't know if I have good advice for the current situation, but I am sorry to hear of your troubles and wish you the best.

I don't know what the market's like in India, but is it possible to save any money working a job like the one you have (or had)? If so, maybe one way to make it more tolerable is to set a goal of working at a lousy job until you've saved enough money to take some time off to find something better. Then, ideally at least, you're using the job as much as it's using you.

Thanks for the advice treepour!

(and everyone else)

I can't really give better advice than above - we have a bunch of smart bunnies here. There's just one thing - take your drugs, hadjiboy. You need to take them regularly and consistently for them to what they're supposed to do.

*big hugs*