MetaChat - Which Weird Way Would You Prefer To Slough Off This Mortal Coil?

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11 May 2007

Which Weird Way Would You Prefer To Slough Off This Mortal Coil? Assuming all things equal, like pain is not a factor here, in what bizarre way would you prefer to die so that your friends and acquaintances can say in hushed tones "Did you hear what happened?"→[More:]Me, I think I would like to be eaten by either the Loch Ness monster or a giant squid. I can totally see being dragged down to the depths screaming by a huge tentacle that just reached up and grabbed me while everyone stood helplessly by in horror.

yeah, okay, maybe I am a little morbid. Why do you ask?

post by: mygothlaundry at: 09:35 | 58 comments

I always wondered what it would be like to hang myself from the GG bridge. I'll bet the SF Chron would have a field day with the headline. . .

posted by danf 11 May | 09:39

Fighting Giant Alien Robots

posted by stynxno 11 May | 09:40

Trying to beat a train through a crossing.

posted by box 11 May | 09:48

I can totally see being dragged down to the depths screaming by a huge tentacle that just reached up and grabbed me while everyone stood helplessly by in horror.

Wow. Freaky... I had this very dream about you last night. No boat rides for you in the foreseeable future. ; )

posted by Pips 11 May | 09:56

Ripped to pieces by a horde of angry sea turtles while diving in Fiji.

posted by LunaticFringe 11 May | 09:57

Freak Can Opener Accident. Or dying of alcohol poisoning while partying with these guys.

posted by jonmc 11 May | 09:59

I'm protesting in Lafayette Park across the street from the White House. A meteor takes out a two-square-block radius.

posted by danostuporstar 11 May | 10:00

I dreamed last night that alien parasites had invaded my body. These organisms had no stomachs, so they utilized my digestive juices to obtain nutrients. I was going in to surgery to remove them, but it was impossible to use general anasthetic for some reason. Anyway, I assume I died on the operating table, when the parasites got pissed and killed me. That would be a shocking way to die.

posted by muddgirl 11 May | 10:05

Volcano!

posted by mrmoonpie 11 May | 10:08

I duuno, but screw the Emmy, Nobel Pulitzer and Tony; I hope to win a Darwin Award.

posted by ericb 11 May | 10:09

- squashed by giant ACME anvil

- melted by evil spirits

- choked by a naked Sarah Silverman

- anything that would involve my last word being "WEEEEEEEE!!!!"

posted by Hellbient 11 May | 10:11

Nobel Pulitzer sounds like the name of a superhero with a gigantic radioactive cerebrum. or a very erudite drag queen.

posted by jonmc 11 May | 10:12

god, just the thought of the giant squid death terrifies me. Nast.

Me, I guess I'd like to finally be brought down and eaten by my house cats. There always thinking of it, why not let them have their fun.

posted by cobra! 11 May | 10:18

I am standing in a field when the first of a dozen mushroom clouds rise over a distant city, the 400 mile per hour firestorm demolishing every building, tree and animal unlucky enough to be caught in it. The sky is darkening when I get back to my car, the radioactive ash beginning to fall and catch in my throat. Goddammit world, I say, what's next. My car won't start, and it's beginning to get cold. I wrap a bandanna around my mouth and walk. I pass other abandoned cars, some with fresh corpses inside, gunshot wounds to the head. Several rainy days later I arrive at the coast, a beach stretching for miles along an ocean that won't ever see a boat again. I make camp in some bushes, hidden from the road and the new bands of survivors preying on each other. I don't make a fire, I don't want to give myself away. I open my can of beans and eat with a dirty fork I stole out of an abandoned diner. The beans aren't very good.

I'm dead from botulism a week later.

posted by cmonkey 11 May | 10:27

- anything that would involve my last word being "WEEEEEEEE!!!!"

This is why I ride a motorcycle.

I'd like to die in the heart of the sun. Or any star. Or a black hole.

posted by Eideteker 11 May | 10:48

- anything that would involve my last word being "WEEEEEEEE!!!!"

This is why I ride a motorcycle.

That could just as easily apply to dying during sex. You could be like Richard pryor's dad, who as he put it 'came and went at the same time.'

posted by jonmc 11 May | 10:54

Fighting zombies.
Totally.

I want to get one chance to go all melee on some braineaters before I die. Most likely at the hands of said brain eaters...

posted by kellydamnit 11 May | 11:04

Auto-erotic asphyxiation.

posted by ColdChef 11 May | 11:05

That could just as easily apply to dying during sex. You could be like Richard pryor's dad, who as he put it 'came and went at the same time.'

I went to high school with a guy whose only conversational topic was how he wanted to die having sex. Eventually, I got so sick of hearing about it that I tried to point out that, if he did that, it wouldn't be all that cool for his partner. He said that was part of the fun.

posted by cobra! 11 May | 11:07

I'm protesting in Lafayette Park across the street from the White House. A meteor takes out a two-square-block radius.

You realize, of course, that a meteor strike of that size would be predicted with enough advance notice that the Pres (who doesn't spend that much time on the job in the first place) would be well evacuated, right? So you'd be standing there, protesting with people who don't follow the news, and die as an empty building (and national landmark) is destroyed.

Just sayin'.

ON PREVIEW: ColdChef is an X-Files fan!

posted by Eideteker 11 May | 11:09

Oh, don't be so literal.

posted by danostuporstar 11 May | 11:11

maybe a house falling on me, like the wicked witch of the East

*cackles maniacally*

posted by Pips 11 May | 11:12

I believe you're thinking of Catherine the Great.

posted by box 11 May | 11:14

Oops. I may have misread a word there.

posted by box 11 May | 11:17

Racing hellbient and Eideteker and cmonkey. We're on the last lap and about to catch cmonkey when he suddenly, unpredictably, and for some unknown reason, slumps across the wheel causing us all to crash.

posted by GeckoDundee 11 May | 11:18

On The Beach is one of the best books ever. I need to find the movie.

posted by cmonkey 11 May | 11:49

Ahoy, MetaChat (what's the shorthand, MeCha?), just joined. Somehow got here from MeFi; that's not very surprising, I imagine.

I've always thought being the index case of some horrible mega-disease would be pretty excellent. Certainly a horrible way to die, but the infamy, assuming the human race survived, would be ridiculous.

I'm with ColdChef:

Auto-erotic asphyxiation.

cmonkey: see Jeff Harrell's "Untitled" novel, it's quite good.

posted by CipherSwarm 11 May | 11:52

anything that would involve my last word being "WEEEEEEEE!!!!"

And, hopefuly, not accompanied by PEEEEEEE!!!!

posted by ericb 11 May | 11:59

I would like to be killed by a Swarm of Ciphers.

Barring that, what about that turtle that was linked from MeFi the other day? Was that thing an effing killing machine, or what? If it decided to kill me there would be no rest for that little motherfucker until I was dead. It is relentless and without a soul.

posted by iconomy 11 May | 12:07

I've always wanted to be eaten by a mountain lion.

Or jumping off the very top of one of the golden gate bridge towers on a breezy day holding two large Chinese or Thai umbrellas.

posted by small_ruminant 11 May | 13:03

I'd be electrocuted through my soup ladle while at the grand opening of my world famous soup and crepe restaurant on the moon.

posted by chewatadistance 11 May | 13:06

P.S. is there a theme here we should be concerned about? Or is the world ending soon? if so, lemme know so I can drain my 401k at the local pub.

posted by chewatadistance 11 May | 13:09

Drat. I missed that thread entirely! For the record I want a green burial and a great big enormous huge gigandor party with many kegs of beer and a bonfire and libations poured on my grave and lots of people getting completely wasted and sneaking off into the bushes to have wild monkey sex. Live bands, the cops coming, good drugs - the works. My two best friends are pledged to do this for me (and in return I have to do a Viking funeral for one of them) but if they fail, I put it on your collective souls, bunnies.

This question actually came up last night when some friends and I were hanging out and one person suggested blue ice, which I thought would be a fairly awesome way to go, if, you know, you don't get eaten by something. Speaking of which, if you're telling the truth, Pips, I've never been gladder to live way the hell up in the mountains!

posted by mygothlaundry 11 May | 13:22

Rescuing somebody. Pulling a small child out of the way of bus or something like that.

I wouldn't mind dying in a plane crash if it were instantaneous. Like crashing into a mountain in foggy weather.

Instant death from a great white shark chomp wouldn't be too bad either. But please not a crocodile or alligator. They pull you down and drown you and pretty much torture you for a while.

posted by LoriFLA 11 May | 13:52

I wouldn't mind dying in a plane crash...

I want to be on Oceanic Flight 815 when it goes down.

posted by ericb 11 May | 14:22

why, mygoth, you've never heard of the dreaded mountain squid? beware, BEWARE!

For the record I want a green burial and a great big enormous huge gigandor party with many kegs of beer and a bonfire and libations poured on my grave and lots of people getting completely wasted and sneaking off into the bushes to have wild monkey sex. Live bands, the cops coming, good drugs - the works.

Consider it done.

posted by Pips 11 May | 14:24

I want a green burial

Then you might be wanting one of these.

I saw one once. . it was like a big egg carton, in texture.

posted by danf 11 May | 15:43

Spontaneous human combustion, just as i make the oranz gesture in the middle of a huge drug filled party.

posted by ethylene 11 May | 16:12

Three words, Spontaneous Human Combustion. Is, and always has been the method I have envisioned myself going by.
*poof*

posted by edgeways 11 May | 16:15

murder/suicide?

posted by Pips 11 May | 16:16

ethylene and edgeways sittin' in a tree
ethylene and edgeways sittin' in a tree
ethylene and edgeways sittin' in a tree
B-L-O-W-I-N-G
U-P

posted by iconomy 11 May | 16:35

I don't think of myself as particularly superstitious but just thinking about how I would like to die seems like asking for trouble.

Anyway, I like those ecopods danf linked. There's even an urn.

posted by deborah 11 May | 16:56

I've thought about this a lot. It would have to involve a really shitty day, like my girlfriend leaves me, then I get fired from my job, then my cat dies, I get mugged, and, as I'm driving home from the bar, which wouldn't serve me because I haven't any money and the bartender is new and won't let me start a tab, I get pulled over for having a taillight out. The officer knocks on my window. I roll it down. He asks for my license and registration. He tells me I've got a taillight out. I say, "Oh, I didn't know that." He lectures me about being an unsafe driver and writes me a ticket.

As he's handing the ticket to me, I spontaneously combust.

posted by the great big mulp 11 May | 17:30

Hey! I'm not the only one in the spontaneous human combustion camp! Woo!

posted by the great big mulp 11 May | 17:32

*thinks about starting a site for people who want to spontaneously combust*

posted by iconomy 11 May | 17:47

It's showy but effective.

posted by ethylene 11 May | 17:49

Ha! You're on fire tonight.

posted by iconomy 11 May | 18:02

"Hey, guys, WATCH THIS!"

posted by jason's_planet 11 May | 18:24

I want to die peacefully in my sleep like grandfather.

Not screaming and yelling, like the passengers in his car.

posted by plinth 11 May | 21:29

All this talk of how we'd like to kick the bucket reminded me of the unusual deaths of some Burmese kings:

-Theinhko: Killed by a farmer whose cucumbers he ate without perssions (931)
(The queen, fearing civil disorder, smuggled the farmer into the royal palace and dressed him in royal robes. He was proclaimed King Nyaung- Sawrhan, and was known as the "Cucumber King.")
-Anawrahta: Gored by a buffalo during a military campaign. (1077)
-Uzana: Trampled by an elephant. (1254)
-Narathihapate: Forced at knife point to take poison (1287)
-Minrekyawswa: Crushed to death by his own elephant. (1417)
-Razadarit: Died after becoming entangled in the rope with which he was lassoing elephants. (1423)
-Tabinshweti: Beheaded by his chamberlains while searching for a ficticious white elephant. (1551)

My personal favorite:
-Nandabayin: laughed to death when informed, by a visiting Italian merchant, that Venice was a free state without a king. (1599)

Personally, I'd like to die peacefully after a long, fulfilling life. But I'm boring like that.

posted by CitrusFreak12 11 May | 21:38

Minrekyawswa: Crushed to death by his own elephant. (1417)

That one. That's the one I want. But only if me and my elephant get to wreck havoc around town first.

posted by bmarkey 11 May | 22:37

I hope that elephant got a fair trial.

posted by trondant 12 May | 04:12

I am daring a meteorite to hit me. C'mon, pussy!

posted by StickyCarpet 12 May | 09:59

Driving very, very fast directly into a very, very solid object.

Alternately, falling off the top of the Hancock into a dumpster. Wouldn't want to make a mess.

posted by eamondaly 12 May | 22:31

I want to die in my sleep.

But I hear a number of people are killed by falling vending machines every year, because they were trying to shake their treats loose. Oh, the indignity.

posted by Orange Swan 13 May | 09:41

I don't care. Once you're dead, you're dead and you won't know anyway. As long as it's quick and soon.

posted by dg 13 May | 18:49

My buddy and I have discussed how we have this deep desire to hit a motorcycle on the freeway, so we've come up with an elaborate plan. Once we're old and ready to go, one of us will run over a motorcycle cop, sparking an elaborate high-speed chase that ends when we careen wildly off a bridge and plow into a tree, building, or canyon wall. If it were a movie, we'd die in a fireball and one last blaze of glory, but we'll settle for being crushed to death instantly.

Whichever one of us pulls it off first gets dibs, and the other has to find another way to die. And the first gets a kick-ass eulogy about his secret double life as a superspy.

posted by kyleg 14 May | 22:49

I want to die fighting a super villian, take him out with me, and have the whole thing be on the evening news. And I want to be 92, wearing powered armor.

posted by craniac 20 May | 22:43

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