"... But it's not looking good."
posted by: essexjan at: 05:19

That's tough, essexjan. When it comes to exes, a lot of people don't stop caring just because their ex didn't stop drinking, even though the long term result is predictable. And 30+ years of methadone? That's a level of issues few in the U.S. can even fathom.

When my ex was trying to get off heroin in the early 70s, the standard treatment at the time was to wean the addicts onto methadone. He was told it was non-addictive and he'd be completely clean within a few months. Of course, it didn't work like that, he became addicted to methadone, as many others did.

His prescription was for a linctus, which for a long while he used to have to collect daily from the pharmacy. Then, after we were married and he'd been in his job a few years, it was changed to weekly. But he could never manage it weekly, and he always used to end up buying more.

But the biggest problem was that he still used to inject it too, and it was a long while before I found out about that. Then, every time, he'd swear it was just a one-off. And I'd forgive him. Again and again. But he couldn't stay away from it, and, despite his protestations that he wasn't injecting, I'd find the broken ampoules and the syringes hidden everywhere.

Even when he swore he was clean, I knew he wasn't. I used to have to manage all the money, and I did all the shopping and all our bills were paid by direct debit. On a Friday I'd give him £100, and by Sunday night, when, to my knowledge he hadn't been anywhere or bought anything, he'd be asking me if I had any money ...

*sighs*

He's a decent man, he's always managed to hold down a managerial job, he looks good, he's always immaculately dressed, when he's not zonked out of his head he's good company, but after I got sober, I realised just how much of an addict he is and how much he got away with because I was drunk. When I was two years sober, I couldn't handle the lies any more. And I wanted a husband who I could have a relationship with, not someone who was happy to live on the sofa and never go out.

I'm glad we've been able to stay friends. Although he was, ahem, devastated by our breakup, within two days of us splitting up, he had a new girlfriend, one of his clerical assistants from the office. Like many addicts, he needs someone to take care of him.

I'm sorry essexjan. That's really too bad. He sounds like a decent guy, aside from his problem.
Here's hoping things work out. :/

Does he have Hep C? I imagine they've checked, but it took them 15+ years to check my parents and they were both IV drug users previously, and never hid it from their MDs. I have wondered, especially in my mom's case, if it took them so long to check because they were both such white, middle class, church-going sorts of people.

I mention the Hep C because there is a lot you can do to be kind to your liver (stop eating fat and anything with iron in it, etc.) that my parents do now, but I don't know which things are Hep C specific and which things are just for aggrieved livers.

Of course, the liver clinics would insist on no alcohol at all, and maybe that's not possible in this case.

No, it's not Hep C, he said his liver is greatly enlarged, so I suspect it might be cirrhosis.

EJ, I swear, sometimes I think you and I are long lost sisters or something.
I hope things work out for the good.

That sucks, EJ. *Big hugs*

That sucks, essexjan. Cirrhosis took my ex's mother a couple of years ago. It was hard watching her deal with it. I'm glad you still have a working relationship with your ex. That's so much better than as adversaries.

So very sorry jan. For what little it's worth I wish him well.

I'm sorry, ej.

I'm sorry, jan. *hugs*