Not in my experience.

Heh. I bet that first study mentioned is out of Jim Pfaus's lab. (I don't see it indexed in Medline yet, and they don't mention in the story where the findings are published).

Further on the topic of rat sex, I once observed two rats doing it in missionary position, which was just wacky.

That was a good article, thanks for posting.

As for whether the conclusions are valid in my life: I don't think so. It definitely gives me something to think about though, I like thinking.

"I think what this whole study is telling us is that having easy access to sex for men does not facilitate the development of bonding with a partner," Ms. Ismail said. "The harder males have to work to get access to the female, the easier it is for them to develop a preference for that partner. And that could apply to humans too."

*could*


Then again, maybe not.


Then again, maybe this is just a gross oversimplification of how human men and women interact. That some rats are representative of some people.

I think we already knew that...

Very interesting.

Along with the might aspect of it, they lost me as soon as they invoked The Female Brain. As a reader of Language Log, I'm well aware of the horrible psuedo-scholarship that went into the writing of that book.

A nice story, but worthless as a genuinely scientific result.

I don't know. I remember the Summer of Love being a kind of wave that took a couple more years to roll across America fully. But what started in '67 in Haight-Ashbury was beginning to affect Kansas, Missouri and Ohio by '68, in terms of sexual mores, and by '69, the combination of greater tolerance for drugs, and greater sexual freedom was palpable nearly everywhere I went. AIDS wasn't an issue, and most any STD any one could be diagnosed with was curable with a single shot, or a short course of oral antibiotics. The Pill worked, bras were suddenly and amazingly declasse, and life was pretty damn easy, and, except for news reports from Vietnam, Memphis, L.A., it was pretty damn good. Kent State and Jackson State were still months away, and until September of '69, the Chicago 7 were still out on bail.

And people were still falling in love, getting married, and having kids at the usual rates, if not necessarily in that order, while steely eyed missile men were going to the Moon.

Anecdotal of course, but I think it does work. My husband was the pursuer. Although, I didn't play hard to get intentionally. He kept calling, trying to get a date, and I was very busy at the time. And mildly ambivalent. I liked him, but wasn't gaga at first.

Another interesting viewpoint: Monogamy.

It might work. I've always been "hard to get" (not playing), and there's always someone in love with me - maybe more because of that than all my actual stellar qualities. I'm not (nor have ever been) "boy crazy" or "girl crazy" either, and never really got crushes or pined for anyone. And I've always had suitors and admirers and lovers (some of whom were ridiculously persistent), never been dropped or anything. I'm mad about my husband, but it took me 32 years to be totally amazed and crazed by someone (was never even close to feeling that way), and even with him, I'm not that "easy" - as in "gah, I love you - treat me any old way and I'll be right here, hanging on for dear life."

I don't know. I've always felt that a big part of why a lot of people have been attracted to me is that I have this kind of natural, inborn "distance" thing going on when it comes to romance. This makes me sound cold, but I'm really not, at all. I'm just not that in love with love, not very giddy that way, not inclined toward infatuation at all - but from my experience so far, I can say that I think I treat everyone well, and consider true (honest, equal, open, whole) love a sacred thing that is very, very hard to come by. [NOT PUNNING - OKAY MAYBE. JUST A LITTLE.]

Another interesting viewpoint: Monogamy.

Just from what little I read of that here's what pops into my mind: "Now here's a guy who can't make a relationship work."

I would have popped into this thread earlier, but I was playing hard to get.

So, did it work?

No? exactly.

Doohickie: So true, so often true.

Playing hard to get only works if the male is already getting some somewhere else.