MetaChat - This makes me sad and angry

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19 April 2007

This makes me sad and angry Girls turned away from their prom for showing too much cleavage.
But, a slide show reveals a bunch of run-of-the-mill prom dresses, nothing out of the norm from my own prom a decade ago, or any other I'd imagine. It does, however, show us many girls who are either on the larger side or have been "blessed" as my mother calls it. A "blessing" that, IME, leads to looking like President of Boob Island no matter what you've got on.→[More:]

It just makes me angry because I know, when you're carrying larger-than-average breasts, anything you wear will look revealing. Most shirts that look perfectly fine on any other woman will display miles of chest on someone bigger than a DD or so, or be stretched tight over your chest, or both.

I just remember trying on so many dresses for my prom, trying to find something that didn't make me look like my entire chest was hanging out, since I was already a self conscious mess from starting to develop at 10, and ending up with something more suited for a middle aged woman at the opera simply because everything else was designed for a figure that hadn't fully developed and looked so revealing.

I feel so damn bad for these girls, it's hard enough always wondering if guys like you or just like your chest, or pretending not to notice that people are focusing well below your face when talking to you, not to mention the shoulder injuries from bra strap and constant backaches. The one night that's supposed to be such a big deal for every teenager in America is ruined by some teacher who can't deal with the fact that, by 17, a lot of girls already have women's bodies.

post by: kellydamnit at: 21:59 | 29 comments

Funny to read this post just after I read the headscarf one.

posted by small_ruminant 19 April | 22:02

Yup, I saw that on Feministe. Totally lame- one crazy teacher who hasn't been shopping in 50 years, most likely. Those girls were wearing what the stores sell- there ain't much else! Shopping for formal stuff when busty is tough, but I think all the girls in the pictures look very nice.

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 19 April | 22:07

President of Boob Island

If you see any MeFi comments with this name attached, it's me.

posted by jason's_planet 19 April | 22:11

(Sorry. Didn't mean to minimize what you went though. But it was a very clever phrase. I enjoyed it.)

posted by jason's_planet 19 April | 22:12

In the pictures all the dresses seem pretty average and downright demur compared to what girls wore to proms in the 70's.

posted by arse_hat 19 April | 22:19

On Boob Island, we resolve these problems with an even lift and separation or the general uplifting action for all.
The bustiers are fabulous but can never come ashore, thus the mermaid monopoly.

posted by ethylene 19 April | 22:21

I thought all of those girls looked lovely. The dresses were all quite tasteful - better than much of what you see at the Oscars. That teacher's an idiot and likely won't be making that kind of mistake again.

I'm, er, blessed. I'm a size larger on top than I am on the bottom. I wore a relatively demure orange silk sheath dress to my prom. My mother made it for me.

At 17 I wasn't comfortable showing cleavage. I am now, and even though I make all my own dresses, both for daytime and for evening events, because that way I get something that fits, it can still be hard sometimes to show an inch or two of cleavage rather than four inches of it.

posted by Orange Swan 19 April | 22:26

Are those some of the girls in the slideshow? Because they look pretty normal.

posted by puke & cry 19 April | 22:26

Apparently the slideshow is all girls who got turned away.

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 19 April | 22:38

Wow. Those dresses are entirely normal to me. From the story I thought they were going to look like they were dressed for a pimp and ho party. Maybe in 1950 those dresses were inappropriate.

My date for the prom back in the mid 80s was not blessed with large breasts, but like every other girl there she found a dress push-up engineering to give her jaw dropping cleavage.

The fact that this happened near the city where women -- including girls under 18 -- will display their breasts in exchange for beads is just.... wow.

posted by birdherder 19 April | 22:41

They look like regular prom dresses to me. Were they supposed to where nun habits or what?

posted by puke & cry 19 April | 22:42

I suspect that the teacher -- like me -- was just jealous.

The link to the slideshow doesn't make it clear whether those were the girls turned away. If so, what bullshit. There's nothing overly revealing there.

posted by mudpuppie 19 April | 22:43

From what I can tell the slideshow is of the girls who were turned away, that's why a few seem to be opening jackets to show dresses and looking upset.

I read it with a bit of skepticism, thinking the slide show would have some trashy tits-a-poppin action going on. But nope, normal dresses. Most aren't even strapless. It just triggered a lot of the frustrations I have about clothing and trying to just find tops to wear to the office that don't make me look cheap and unprofessional.

(Sorry. Didn't mean to minimize what you went though. But it was a very clever phrase. I enjoyed it.)

No worries... It would be a pretty good sockpuppet name!

And Orange Swan, I make a lot of my own dresses, too (got any good pattern recommendations?). I'm basically the same size on top and bottom (I call the giant butt my counterbalance), but my waist is, by most size charts, three smaller. Sewing is essential, even for stuff I buy. I need to get better at pattern alterations, though. My half-assed "make it bigger and add a billion tucks and darts" method isn't always ideal.

posted by kellydamnit 19 April | 23:08

Hmm, no especial pattern recommendations. I just use the usual Vogue, McCalls, Simplicity etc. patterns. It sounds like I have an easier time fitting myself than you do. My weight fluctuates, but whatever weight I am, my hips are always the same size as my chest and my waist is eight inches smaller instead of the ten it's apparently supposed to be. I'm a (sewing pattern sizes, which are WAY smaller than retail sizes) 14 up top and a 12 down below. So I cut the top of the dress in a 14 and veer down to a 12 for the lower half.

posted by Orange Swan 19 April | 23:37

This is either the New Puritanism or that teacher is just completely nuts; being old fashioned or out of touch can't account for this. Here are two girls that were booted, along with a 1960 prom photo and a 1950s girl in a prom dress. wtf?

≡ Click to see image ≡

posted by taz 20 April | 02:18

I think they all look lovely.

Now this, on the other hand, is the kind of prom dress I'd expect the teacher to say "get on home, missy, and put some clothes on"

posted by essexjan 20 April | 02:52

The white dress and cool hair-do on the middle girl in picture number 2 rock!

posted by By the Grace of God 20 April | 03:07

I've been on Google Earth for I don't know how long, and I cannot find La Isla de las Tatas. ¿Donde esta, Señora Presidente?

posted by rob511 20 April | 05:07

Huh? Those dresses look positively demure to me.

Also, I wish we'd had Proms in the UK when I was at school (I think they're catching on nowadays) - stresses aside, it seems like a great way to finish school on a glam note.

posted by jack_mo 20 April | 05:20

I'm glad they threw a token white girl in there (no big loss, cuz she's ugly, rite?) so they could say the event was (NOT RACIST).

posted by Eideteker 20 April | 05:35

Yeah, that top picture is ridiculous. Those dresses are lovely and the girl in front is absolutely stunning and what the hell? I hope there's a big hue & cry about this; I never heard anything so idiotic. I hear you on the dress thing kelly - my ex stepdaughter was blessed by boob island and by age 14 she was a triple D chest. And they wouldn't let her join the cheerleading squad because the "teacher" said they didn't have a uniform to fit her. I was so angry. When she spent the summer with me she told me all she really wanted was a dress. We must have gone to 100 shops that summer and nothing, but nothing worked. It was heart wrenching - although on the other hand it turned into a great summer of bonding and the quest started to be ridiculous fun in and of itself.

posted by mygothlaundry 20 April | 07:15

*favorites ethylene's comment*

posted by matildaben 20 April | 07:16

WTF? I see more cleavage at work. How totally ricockulous.

posted by tr33hggr 20 April | 07:19

I would vote for the president of Boob Island.

When I was teaching, I saw a lot worse on a daily basis at school. And by worse, I mean, girls who assumed that if a little cleavage is good, then cleavage you could rapell into must be better. Brrr.

posted by plinth 20 April | 08:25

I would vote for the president of Boob Island.

Rather than a presidency, wouldn't it be an oglearchy?

posted by Eideteker 20 April | 08:49

Mmm, rapelling cleavage. (oddly, cleavage is one of the weapons in the female attractiveness arsenal that has no male equivalent, unless you count guys walking around with their ass hanging half out of their pants.)

posted by jonmc 20 April | 08:58

Clearly, you weren't paying attention in the late seventies when men were encouraged to leave several buttons unbuttoned and wear gold neck chains.

Thank God that era is over.

Rather than a presidency, wouldn't it be an oglearchy?

I welcome our new decolletagenous overladies.

posted by plinth 20 April | 09:01

Oh, Taz, good work! Those poor kids didn't get to be their beautiful selves at their prom. That's not right.

posted by theora55 20 April | 10:21

These outfits are a thousand times worse than the dresses worn by the girls in the article. I don't see a thing wrong with any of the dresses in the slideshow. I just went prom dress shopping with my stepdaughter. She too, is "blessed", and so many dresses just accentuate the bosom as opposed to enhancing the gown. We finally found one that is tasteful and gorgeous. Thank goodness, because the one she liked before that one would have given her dad a heart attack.

posted by redvixen 20 April | 18:29

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