If you're still wearing slippers, you probably shouldn't be drinking beer yet. Have some class, man! Put on some shoes, at least!

Atone by drinking champagne out of a lovely lady's stiletto pump. It's the only thing for it.

DRRRRRINNNNNNG IDDDDDDD!

In an effort to take the edge off a slightly weird family gettogether yesterday I had a stiff Kahlua and Coffee Soda. It had the opposite effect. I was more edgy and slightly less able to hold my tongue. I should have seen that coming.

Atone by drinking champagne out of a lovely lady's stiletto pump.

I've always wondered what other slightly fetishistic ways of taking a drink would have made it into the cultural canon.

I'm going to suggest squeezing Fernet Branca out of a wadded up girdle. It'll be all the rage with the super dissipated euro-hedonists.

Well, they're foam slippers so I'd have to squeeze them like an orange.

I'm going to suggest squeezing Fernet Branca out of a wadded up girdle. It'll be all the rage with the super dissipated euro-hedonists.

I'm fairly sure that Puff Daddy sips Cristal from a bling-encrusted Nike hightop.

Irish whiskey out of a muddy Wellington?

A good omen, yes. Like the parakeet that's been hanging around our backyard for several days.

I just spilled beer. into my slipper. Omen?

No.

I just spilled beer. into my slipper. Amen!

I guess it was a good omen, since pips found my signed copy of James Ellroy's White Jazz that I'd been looking for for a week. Maybe I should spill beer into the other slipper, who knows what'll turn up?

It varies on the type of beer. For instance, if it was a lite beer then you're okay and should have an okay day. If it was a dark ale you're screwed. Just speaking from experience.

I'm sorry, but I refuse to take anything seriously from a man who wears slippers in the first place.