Yes, he should be asking the question about heliobacter.

No, he probably shouldn't have to go back to the doctor for a prescription unless there needs to be more tests run. Rx refills for maintenance drugs should be available with a phone call.

The doctor should probably confirm the diagnosis with and endoscopy and rule out other (possibly) worse things that should be treated early, or punt him to a specialist.

Living with a chronic illness (or two, in my case), sucks beyond belief.

you're right, plinth, and as he's off work sick today I'm going to go upstairs and give him a hug RIGHT NOW.

FWIW, we guys do not necessarily relate well to our own bodies and to the whole medical scene in general. (We straight guys, anyhow. I hope my gay and bi brethren are a little more matter-of-fact and circumspect, 'cause we breeders can be real idiots that way.)

You don't mention b/f's age, but some of the problem above stems from the youth-equals-immortality hangover of having a self-image that's stuck on 19. I think some aspects of this get better with age, but bad habits can become pretty ingrained by this point too. (I'm 45.)

Roger the chronic problems -- mine's an uncomfortable and sometimes unsightly rash that never goes away entirely. I can get what i want from my MD by being really efficient and assertive about it, but I have to have thought about my game plan beforehand. Managing a lifetime's worth of atopic dermatitis has taught me a couple things, so I could convince the doc that I knew how I wanted to take prednisone to battle the latest outbreak to a standstill.

R U accompanying the B/F to the doctor? Might be useful for all three of you....might want to make him sit down and read this thread, too.

thanks Pax - he's 38, and you could have a point. His father died aged about 60 of oesophageal cancer, which he realises may be relevant, and has told his GP this.

There's an interesting US/UK divide thing, I think - over in the US people are much more assertive about what they want from a doctor, whereas here people are a bit too ready to accept what the GP says without questioning (hangover from the paternalist past, I think).

I don't go with him to the GP, though perhaps I should - I feel a little caught between a rock and a hard place, as I work in the medical field (indirectly) and am quite good at researching the literature(if it were me, I'd be asking questions about tests and treatment), and I'm naturally worried about him, but I am wary of becoming the kind of woman who is solely responsible for her man's health.

altolinguistic, how awful for your boyfriend. I too am surprised the doctor didn't test for h. pylori. I agree with plinth -- your boyfriend should probably be referred to a gastroenterologist if an ulcer is suspected.

PaxDigita, have you tried eliminating all corn syrup from your diet? I know this sounds crazy, but one of my coworkers always had reddened, irritated skin that required her to see her dermatologist every six months for shots of cortizone or something. One of her customers suggested to her that it could be caused by corn syrup (the customer's son had the same problem). So my coworker began reading ingredient lables and avoiding products with corn syrup. She now has beautiful, clear skin. (Hope you don't mind my butting in)

Alto, not everyone here in the U.S. is assertive with their doctors. I still have to work on that myself. But I completely understand about your BF. My husband will say that he needs a check up, or should see the dentist, but unless I make the schedule, he won't go. And I want him to be responsible for his own health, so I don't make the schedules, so we keep going round and round. I've given him all the numbers he needs, but he still puts it off. Then again, I'm overdue for a regular check up, too, so I shouldn't talk.

redvixen, that's not butting in; that's friendly, helpful concern, and I'm quite grateful.

Since impending joblessness may eliminate most of eating out, I may have the opportunity to control what I'm eating even more closely yet, but I'm already sorta picky, read labels a lot, & don't buy or consume much stuff with corn sweetners to it -- some cookies, maybe, but not much else in the way of junk food, soda and the like. I'd rather snack on dried fruit and nuts and drink tap water than have Fritos and a Coke. So -- I'll double down on the corn-syrup thing, but I think it's largely stress and attitude causing my immune system to think something's attacking it.

I've had AD (or it's had me) since I was 6 mos old during the JFK administration. The only times I've ever had it 100% under control seemed to have more to do with relative lowering of stress than with diet. Cold wx, with the skin-drying heat on all winter, worsened it, esp. when I'd get sweaty from workouts. I learned that white petrolatum-based cortisone ointment was better than the cream because it occluded and protected chafed, dry skin and helped it heal a bit better, if not really well. Now that warm wx is comin' on, it's shorts and T-shirts outside of work, which lets my skin breathe better & get a little sun -- that's healthier too. That, and attitude -- some red bumps, scabs and itchy blotches aren't enough anymore to get me telling myself that I'm turning into The Elephant Man.

The deal w/ doctors is this: You have to take primary responsibility for knowing your own and family hx, becoming a knowledgeable patient to the extent you can, and communicating with your doc about symptoms and therapies. I was on the brink of "firing" this one and finding a different doctor but I'm giving him another chance; he's a family primary-care physician, is way overworked, but he has OSU med students trailing around after him, so it's useful to all of us for me to keep on talking to him & them.

redvix, maybe "bribe" hubby into dr. visits? Rewards to reinforce positive behaviors?

Not that this applies to your situation, but my dear friend Kelly had stomach pain for months and was told it was probably an ulcer or heartburn. In the past, she pooh-poohed doctor's orders or advice because of misdiagnoses and the fact that most of them would harp on her weight a lot, too.

However, one day the pain got so bad that she begged her husband to take her to the E.R.--which he knew meant that the pain was very bad. After a frightening series of tests, it was confirmed that she had an advanced stage of colon cancer. She died on September 22, 2005--two months after her initial diagnosis. She was 32 when she died.

I don't tell this story to scare you or your husband, but I do tell it to people who are afraid to question doctors or to get themselves checked out and to be aggressive in getting the competent care they need.

At the same time, I can understand some reasons for not wanting to see a doctor, particularly if the budget is tight. Two years ago, I had my female bits checked out because I have highly irregular periods. We're talking "not having a period in two or three months" kind of irregular. Or to be perfectly honest, I think it has been about six months since my last period and the pee test I took this past January said I wasn't pregnant.

I know I should see an OB/GYN, but I don't have the extra cash to pay for that and my therapy bills right now.

I wonder how much money I have in my change cup...

Pax, I already throw myself at Mr. V on a regular basis ;^).

TrishaLynn, just be careful. One of my sister-in-law's friends was still nursing her second baby (who was 10 months old) and had not yet gotten her period. She had tummy pains, they did a pee test for pregnancy which came up negative. They finally sent her for an MRI, but just (literally, just, she was on the table) before they sent her in the tube, a nurse came running in the room. A blood test proved that she was pregnant - and four months along at that!!!

As for irregular periods - I hear you loud and clear. Before my first son I could go for four months or so without getting mine. I had to take my temperature to find out when I was fertile. And I had no idea how pregnant I was with my second. Apparantly, I had a period while pregnant with him, according to my notes and the ultrasound at 10 weeks. So many weird things going on in the reproductive system!

Thanks all. Luckily we don't have to worry about the money - all care is free at the point of need here, i.e. comes out of our taxes. We'll work together on how to get this sorted out.