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29 March 2007

Mike vs. Michael... →[More:]I'm working on a story where I want the character to talk about the difference between someone who goes by the short form of their name versus someone who goes by the long form. The thing is, I don't want the character to have the same first name as me... Do people not named Mike have a philosophy about the long and short forms of their name?
post by: drezdn at: 12:25 | 35 comments
I allow it to be dictated by the people around me - some people choose to call me the long form of my name, most the short, and a very very few, the in-between. I don't mind any of them. If you asked me what I prefer, I say the long form, but it's not worth a fight, I really don't mind, and I must carry that aura about me as people choose it most of the time.

Interested to read more input.
posted by rainbaby 29 March | 12:30
Well there's always Steve vs Steven, Dave vs David, Chris vs Christopher, Andy/Drew vs Andrew, off the top of my head.

I go by Andrew. Some call me Andy. My parents and former piano teacher for 9 years call me Drew. I'm ok with any of these forms. However I think "Andy" is less "professional" sounding than the other two.
posted by CitrusFreak12 29 March | 12:35
Dunno, but I do know that people named Michael are generally dicks [not Michaelist].
posted by Hellbient 29 March | 12:37
I've talked to a couple people about this (most recently Dave/David), so yes, it does apply to other names.

I once had a male friend in high school tell me never to date men with single-syllable names. I've found that to be mostly true, though men with multisyllabic names can also be trouble. :)
posted by occhiblu 29 March | 12:38
I don't really have a well thought-out philosophy about the whole Matt/Matthew thing, but one thing does spring to mind: there's a big difference between being known by your name's diminutive by your equals and your elders. I write Matthew everywhere, and think of myself as a Matthew not a Matt, but I'm fine with people my age (college age) calling me Matt - it's just a relaxed, friendly thing to do. But if people older than me call me Matt without first asking which name I wish to be known by, it sometimes comes across as a bit condescending - as if they want to assert their age/status. Of course this varies with the person in question; I had a teacher at school who insisted on calling me Matt despite my occasional protestations because she wanted to look cool and 'down with the kids' (shudder).
posted by matthewr 29 March | 12:46
Yeah, mr. gaspode has this (Stephen/Steve). He said he doesn't trust people who immediately refer to him by the short form, although interestingly enough I did (although we were introduced by his friends, so I think he was introduced as "Steve")
posted by gaspode 29 March | 12:48
One good thing about having a three-letter, monosyllabic name is that you never have to worry about this kind of thing.

I have a friend named Richard, who prefers to be called Rich, but for some reason most people call him Rick.
posted by BoringPostcards 29 March | 12:49
My family and some *really* old friends call me 'Danny'. I don't like it much; besides sounding childish, I just feel like a totally different person than I was when I was called that.

'Daniel' only gets used in written legalese.

I'm pretty much 'Dan', though even my wife has taken to calling me 'Dano'.

(She's 'Deborah'/'Debbie'/'Deb' interchangably. I usually go longform myself.)
posted by danostuporstar 29 March | 12:54
hm. i've known a ton of 'mikes' in my lifetime. dated some, lived with one, enjoyed good and bad friendships, relationships and co-worker associations with all of them. however, most guys with the name michael who insisted on going by 'michael' were by constrast either a) gay, b) highly uptight or c) strangely creepy. that's just my personal experience tho, so i doubt it has resonance with everyone.

i guess my only weird hangup is that i find it strange and somewhat offputting when i encounter mature, adult businessmen who still go by childhood diminutives; i.e. 'billy', 'bobby', 'buddy', 'sammy', etc. it seems a bit unprofessional, but then that's just me.
posted by lonefrontranger 29 March | 13:00
My baby book said "name: _____, _____ for short". The abbreviation didn't evolve, it was planned and that's always been weird to me. I'm with rainbaby... if given a choice, people seem almost relieved to use the short form of my name. It sounds more friendly? I don't know. Then for most of my life my mom called me what my brother said before he could pronounce my nickname- I like my brother but it added insult to injury. I wanted to simply have a name and thought as an adult I could use my real name, but no.

I'm curious how this issue influences how people choose names for their children.

posted by auntbunny 29 March | 13:01
I'm curious how this issue influences how people choose names for their children.


If my wife and I have a boy, we're naming him Philo. I'm kind of curious if people will shorten it to phil. Then again, with our cats, the ones that have short names, get even shorter names (Rusty is Roo, Lucky is Loo, when I get bored I call Edison Ewe).
posted by drezdn 29 March | 13:06
When I was a kid I hated being called Mike. Part of it was because there were always at least four other Mikes in class with me and being called Michael was one of the few ways to distinguish myself. I was also b) highly uptight. I definitely relaxed a lot when I started letting people call me Mike.

I'm in the peculiar situation where my last name is one syllable and sounds like the second syllable of my first name. So, most people address me as Mike + Last Name. If you say it fast/garbled enough (especially when I do it, as I can't seem to pronounce my last name properly), it will sound like Michael.
posted by backseatpilot 29 March | 13:07
there is thankfully, no short form of "Ryan." Very occasionally someone will try "Ry" but it just really really doesn't work.
posted by drjimmy11 29 March | 13:08
My mother was a strong long former but 4 of us have obvious short forms available (one sister even has a double name). I have a brother Michael, and his family calls him that, I don't know about his peers.

I think the long forms stick stronger in families - my husband uses my long form too, dano.

Side note: I know two grown men (ok, it's the south and it's theatre) who go by Bob Ed and Billy Christopher. They don't hang out or anything, but WOW.
posted by rainbaby 29 March | 13:12
Very occasionally someone will try "Ry" but it just really really doesn't work.


From now on you'll be called "R."
posted by drezdn 29 March | 13:12
My name is Thomas, but I'm still 'Tommy' to family and the few friends who knew me before I made a conscious decision in 2nd grade to go by my proper name from then on. I've never been a 'Tom'. (My dad occasionally called me 'Tom-Tom', which was OK.)

And yeah, when people take the liberty of calling me 'Tom', it usually rubs me the wrong way. (It doesn't help that they're usually fast-talking middle-aged guys in sales.)
posted by Atom Eyes 29 March | 13:15
I'm curious how this issue influences how people choose names for their children.

My mother hated hated hated when people shortened her name, so she specifically gave my brother and me names that really couldn't be shortened.

Which didn't stop my grandmother from trying. Heh.

It has given me an aversion to nicknames, though, and a weird disbelief in people claiming not to care which form of their name I use. I'm always secretly convinced that they care deeply and are just too nice to mention it.
posted by occhiblu 29 March | 13:25
My name's 'Joseph,' but, like dano, it's 'Joe' everywhere but on legal documents, and for a few little old ladies (who have known me since I was a small child) that call me 'Joey.'

'Joey' makes me feel like some kind of Faulknerian idiot manchild Dave Coulier type, but I'm too polite to say anything.
posted by box 29 March | 13:31
I've known and liked both Mikes and Michaels.

I despise the common short form of my first name (Liz) because I hate the sound and I hate the mental picture I get when I hear that name and because in my own head I am absolutely not a "Liz"--I still correct people who use it (except Guy, who steadfastly refuses to call me anything but "Liz" and a pet name which with luck neither of us will ever utter in public). My sister uses the short form of her name--we all do, except Dad, who picked our names because they were long form. He is the only person alive who ever uses the long form of my Mom's name. I think he just likes the sound of that much name.

The only "philosophy" I have ever encountered with people who have a short form and long form and who honestly prefer on over the other is "I really hate it when I tell someone my name is 'OneThing' and they decide that I really mean 'My Name is Something Else'." In addition to really hating the name "Liz", I really hate when people take it upon themselves to decide what my name is. (It's like that thing in The Opposite of Sex when Lucia goes off about being pretty sure she knows how to pronounce her own name. I'm pretty sure I know my own name and it's not "Liz").
posted by crush-onastick 29 March | 13:45
People who use the diminutive of my name with the cutesy "ie" distinguish themselves as people who do not know me or insist that i must be a sassy diner waitress. They could be trying to ingratiate themselves and be familiar or maybe they want everything to have eee sounding endings and be covered with sparkles and rainbows, either way they are out of luck. The people who use it uncorrected are people i know as that neighbor who's name i don't know or that overly friendly clerk i try to avoid.
i'm barely attached to that name as it is and let people separate themselves as to how i know them depending on what name they use.
No matter what, i expect you people to be the ethylene people and not, say, sarah people.
posted by ethylene 29 March | 13:52
There is no diminutive of my name (Felicity) really and when I was a child this made me sad. Weirdly enough, somebody did eventually figure out a diminutive, Fliss, which is now what I go by a lot. I may be the only person in the world who acquired a diminutive nickname for the first time in her 30s. But it's not a nickname that comes naturally to anyone, so there's that. As far as the Michael/Mike thing, I used to date men named that almost exclusively (Five. I tell you, five left handed Leo musicians named Michael.) and I pretty much called them all Michael because I like the way it sounds better and I like polysyllabic names. And also because, for some reason no doubt connected to childhood trauma, the name Mike always calls up this image.
posted by mygothlaundry 29 March | 14:02
heh mgl... and i myself dated four left-handed designer/artschool types named John. one learns (eventually) from one's mistakes.

when i was in my early twenties, i had to number the 'Mikes' i knew, or assign them qualifiers like 'tall Mike' 'redheaded Mike', 'crazy Mike', 'bassist Mike', et cetera.

these days i'm having to number the 'Ryans', and it's not made any easier by the fact that a round 75% of them are acquaintances met thru cycling pursuits. thankfully my friend Frye (who is in actuality a Ryan) chose his own unique nickname.

posted by lonefrontranger 29 March | 14:31
I have had Mike qualifiers to keep track of Mikes - the one I remember fondly is "Santa Hat Mike." I totally rebranded my best friend - who has the same first name as my husband. He actually goes by the odd nickname I gave him ten years ago.
posted by rainbaby 29 March | 14:43
I sign documents with the long form of my name. I favor the most common diminutive as its spelling is unambiguous, unlike the long form. One of the more common diminutives rankles me as it sounds childish.
posted by plinth 29 March | 15:08
I acquired my diminutive nickname "Lena" when it was given to me by a gay college friend. I stopped being called Kathy when I was 14 and will scream if anyone calls me that. As far as my online name, I think LT was the one who started calling me "Mats" and it kind of stuck.

Notice that mike9322 has not yet posted in this thread.
posted by matildaben 29 March | 15:16
I'm Maureen, "Mo" for short. For a while there my husband was introducing me to people as "Mo" and it upset me. I only like people around whom I am comfortable to call me Mo.

Five years ago, however, I used to introduce myself as Mo to people.
posted by frecklefaerie 29 March | 15:22
I'm very much an Andrew, not so much an Andy. It bugs me to no end when I introduce myself as the former and people call me the latter anyway. Like gaspode's boy, it makes me distrust them.
posted by me3dia 29 March | 15:39
The only time I use my formal given name is on legal documents and such. When I first started acting, way back when, I always used it - right up until the point where I realized how pretentious it sounded. I am not Robert De Niro.

I used the ultra-childlike diminuitive until age 6. After that, there have been exactly two people I've allowed to use it. Anybody else gets firmly corrected.

Some of my clients call me by my formal name. Inwardly, it feels like biting on tinfoil. Sometimes I'll jokingly tell them that I only get called that when I'm in trouble, but given the nature of my work it's usually not worth correcting them.
posted by bmarkey 29 March | 15:49
I'm "Dan", I prefer "Dan" in most contexts, but on anything remotely formal I'm "Daniel".

Haven't been "Danny" to anybody since I was 10 or so.

My dad is "Richard" and has an immediate test available to see if someone is being too chummy. He's always been "Rick" but of course many people try to call him "Dick". He's never been "Dick". He doesn't get as annoyed by "Rich".

I would say there's a philosophy about it. But it's very individual. Is it about maturity/immaturity? Is it about openness/opaqueness? Is it about directness/formality? I think those answers are different for people.
posted by stilicho 29 March | 15:58
My name isn't easy to shorten, but for years my family (and a tiny handful of close family-scale friends) called me by my initial. Somehow that leaked over to a boyfriend who then introduced me to a bunch of other people that way, and now I have an odd legacy of friends from a particular time and place who call me by what otherwise feels like a very intimate nickname. I'm used to it now, but it felt odd for a while.

I wouldn't dream of shortening someone's name arbitrarily. I generally call people by the name with which they're introduced, unless they ask me to do otherwise.
posted by tangerine 29 March | 16:30
My mother named me specifically "AnneMarie" because she hated the nickname "Annie". Marie is actually my middle name, but she would go so far as to write it as one word on my lunch bags. That name followed me to high school, where I shortened it to "Anne". When I started working it became "Annie", despite my mother's feelings, and that's the name that fits me the most, I think. I can always tell family and old friends though because they will still occasionally call me "Anne Marie". My mom used to say it so fast that her last husband thought my name was "Emory" when they met.

Both my sons, "Kevin" and "Philip" are called by their given names and shortened versions: "Kev" and "Phil".
posted by redvixen 29 March | 20:58
My brothers, oldest to youngest, are Michael, Daniel, David and Mathew (one T). They all prefer, and go by, the normal short version except for Daniel. I tend to call them by their full names except for Mikey. Dan's wife calls him Danny, which is what he was called as a kid.

I was Debi as a kid. Once I started working I insisted on Deborah. I didn't like either name for quite a while and even contemplated going by my middle name (Fern, it's a family name) because you rarely see/hear it anymore. Mum and the mister call me Deborah as do some of the more distant family members. My brothers, except for Mikey who calls me Sis, continue to use Debi. Argh.
posted by deborah 29 March | 22:33
I try to stick to the same rule as tangerine. If people call me Allie, I correct them as politely as possible.

It's not a power thing, it's not that I hate it, or think it rude--I just can't identify with "Allie" at all. I like my name, thanks.
posted by wimpdork 29 March | 23:37
I don't answer to Dave, but will respond instantly to David. I don't get nasty about it, but I get annoyed by people arbitrarily deciding what my name is. I always refer to people by the name they introduce themselves as, or their full name if I see it first in writing, unless and until I am asked to do otherwise.
posted by dg 30 March | 00:52
I like my name, but don't mind if people lengthen it. Sean, Seany, Seanus & of course Seanyboy. I think it's nice to have pet names.
On the flip side, my real name is William & I hate that and all combinations thereof.
posted by seanyboy 30 March | 02:26
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