MetaChat - Macros for life.

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26 March 2007

Macros for life. →[More:]

I would like to write a macro for Excel that will do all of my work for me: It will open various spreadsheets, categorize and analyze various information, move things here and there, and present my boss with finished product after finished product.

I would like to write a macro that wakes up for me, showers, shaves, irons my clothes, and gets me to work on time.

The beauty of macros is that they do the work in the background so you can spend your time more constructively -- it's not just like some speed-up-time algorithm that leaves you old and grey like some dumb movie plot.

For example, if I didn't enjoy going to the dentist so much (I've only had one dentist, and he's the best in the world), I'd write a macro for a dentist visit: make appointment, go to the dentist's office, sit in the chair, have procedure done, listen to the dentist's one-sided conversation, pay up, and get the hell out.

What would you write a macro for?

post by: Hugh Janus at: 09:47 | 11 comments

Breakfast. As much as I love to cook, I don't enjoy it first thing in the morning.

posted by mischief 26 March | 10:00

I want a macro like a clone, who will go to work for me and do my laundry and clean my house and pay my bills while I lie around in sybaritic luxury inventing things and being bad. I want a responsible macro who will take care of the kids and the dogs and getting the oil changed in the car while I ignore all this stuff and wander around in the woods splashing through streams. I want a macro who will be a grownup and do all the dumb stupid grownup things I don't want to do so I can build a tree fort and sit up in it smoking pot and throwing water balloons at passing joggers.

posted by mygothlaundry 26 March | 10:10

I have a Filemaker document that can reprogram DNA. It sort of works - I made a little hand that extends from my side. It's part of a bigger project called "Evolition!" I was going to post in MeFi Projects at some point, but screw it, I'm too excited about it to wait. Oh, and it's really hard to run - you need a 9 Niggahertz processor.

posted by Hellbient 26 March | 11:14

I would like to buy mischief's breakfast macro, for exactly the reason he stated. I hate cooking in the morning.

Also, commuting. I like the getting ready part of going to work, but not the getting-to. Especially now that I'm on a bus line full of students, who all talk too loud on their cellphones and bump into me with their backpacks. Stupid students.

posted by occhiblu 26 March | 11:18

I just want a vacuum that works. Once you vacuum something it should stay vacuumed.

posted by pointilist 26 March | 12:35

THAT WOULD SUCK.

posted by quonsar 26 March | 12:41

Yes, what mischief said. Love to cook, but how I would love to wake up to have a macro-created breakfast.

And pooping. And calling bill collectors.

posted by tr33hggr 26 March | 13:52

I would never macro pooping -- it's one of the few unalloyed pleasures in life.

I'd macro being sick, though.

posted by Hugh Janus 26 March | 14:12

I'd like to write a macro to get me ready for work in the morning. I like showering but I hate getting dressed, eating breakfast, brushing various things that need brushed, and so on.

posted by muddgirl 26 March | 14:15

I'd write a macro to write all the other macros I'd need, and after I ran it I'd end my own processes - after disabling their automatic startup, of course. Maybe it would take care of that last bit for me...

posted by appidydafoo 26 March | 15:00

Yeah, like VIKI in I, Robot.

posted by Hugh Janus 26 March | 15:26

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