"Mensa Invitational" →[More:]
courtesy of my mother and an email she received
Take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing only one letter -- and supply a new definition.
1. Cashtration (n.): the act of buying or building a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
2. Ignoranus (n.): a person who's both stupid and an asshole.
3. Intaxication (n.): euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize that it was your money to start with.
4. Reintarnation (n.): coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5. Bozone (n.): the substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
6. Caterpallor (n.): the color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.
7. Giraffiti (n.): vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
8. Sarchasm (n.): the gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
9. Inoculatte (v.): to take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
10. Hipatitis (n.): terminal coolness.
11. Osteopornosis (n.): a degenerate disease.
12. Karmageddon (n.): It's when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, and then the Earth explodes and it's a serious bummer.
13. Decafalon (n.): the grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
14. Glibido (n.): all talk and no action.
15. Dopeler effect (n.): the tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
16. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): the frantic dance performed ju st after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
17. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.