That was... nice of you, GOML. ::pats on shoulder::

My birthday is April 23rd. If you want to prove yourself, wish me a happy birthday.
I promise this is the only time I'll bring it up.

CF, add yourself to the birthday list and then everyone can.

goml, not to jump on your bandwagon but you just summed up the gist of most of my social anxiety/awkwardness, angst and guilt in relating to social 'smalltalk' sorts of topics in general.

i mean i honestly feel like i should contribute more in these sorts of threads, but it just feels awkward and forced to me. and the worst part is, i really can't express *why* it feels wrong for me to do so.

anyway... i don't have kids, nor do i ever plan to, so i can't really relate to the baby threads, etc. i mean kids are cool and all, but i feel like a pants-wearing-fish when trying to respond appropriately to 'motherhood' topics.

i've long since reached an age where birthdays are to be tolerated, rather than celebrated.

i never graduated from college or did many of the other huge 'life milestone' deals like getting married, so i can't really relate there either.

perhaps it's that i feel like i have nothing special to contribute (tho why i should have issues with not having something brilliant to say... eh, forget it already)

perhaps this is my issue (i test strongly INTJ on myers-brigg if you care about that sort of thing).

perhaps i just don't have a valid sense of humour. i mean i often think i'm being witty, and am subsequently astonished how pissed off people will get thinking i'm being serious, so i guess my sense of humour is broken or something.

perhaps i really am borderline autistic - my x certainly threw that in my face in arguments often enough.

perhaps i really was raised by savages afterall.

perhaps i'm truly as much of an asshole as i think i am.

basically what i'm saying is that i've been conditioned by so many negative responses to my apparently hamfisted attempts to be social that i've kind of learned not to say much in 'social', 'small-talkish' situations.

Shall I contribute to this thread? Nah.

lfr: well said. I feel the same way much of the time. It's why I've mentioned "I always feel like an outsider, even here." a few times, though people seem to find the concept ridiculous, as though someone as prolix and textually gregarious as me could feel alone or "outside" of things.

But it's true. The older I get the less uncommon this sentiment is among a wide variety of people. As existentialistly angsty as it is, we *are* all alone. Mostly. Especially if you think about it too much.

Frankly, personally, I'm often terrified of social situations. I originally became involved with/addicted to BBSs because it made it easier to be myself - to mediate through text.

It does get easier with practice.



However, an axegrind:

I can't recommend this strongly enough and with enough seriousness and earnestness, TURN OFF YOUR TELEVISION.

Yeah, yeah, you say you hardly watch it. It's just in the background as comfort-noise, no? In the background, yammering away about how unhappy you are, how ugly, how incomplete your soul is if you don't buy this car/soap/food/drug, how empty you are, how broken you are. Better fill up that void with some Taco Smell or a brand new Hummer! Better get some drugs for better sleep! Less anxiety! Drugs for anxiety and loss of self worth and depression caused by the TV!!

Always yammering, yammering away such negative, destructive things about *you*, who are gorgeous and unique and human and unable to be defined by markters, slowly eroding your confidence in yourself.

Please turn it off, and leave it off. In a few weeks to a month you won't even notice that it is gone. About the same time, you'll feel better about yourself, more confident, less distracted by non-TV advertisements in public, less socially anxious.

Please, try it. Of all the things any human can do for themselves, killing their TV is probably the best, first step of all. I promise. It's amazing.

loquactious: i couldn't possibly agree more

on review: FACK !!!

*writes on board 100 times 'i will spellcheck in preview... i will spellcheck in preview... i will spellcheck in preview...*

sorry loquacious, i suck at teh interwebs dude.

*circles 4/23 on the calendar, then forgets why*

*winks at initapplette's humor*

*shakes head at dodgy for being such a geezer*

LFR: Hey, kemo sabe! I think you said it well too. I am sorry I haven't chatted with you in ages. I see you lit up on Yahoo sometimes and I know I should say Hi more often.

Just like Gaspode, I have been meaning to send her an email for days now.

Loquacious: You are so right, and btw, your intellect scares me, I stand in awe.

GOML: I got your bunny. She's wonderful! You are contributing! :)

LFR: I don't find you socially awkward at all. And I love your sense of humor too. I'm glad you took that scone the other day. I think scones are icky and would have left it there.

yg44: You are welcome. I love your bunny, she reminds me of a marshmallow peep.

To the other recipients: I made address lables yesterday, I am getting closer to putting those bunnies in the mail. I thank you for being just a wee bit more patient.

pants-wearing-fish

Would those be quonsar's pants?

*steals quonsar's pants, runs away*

heh heh heh

goml: The only thing scary about my intellect is how it has caused me to be an underachieving pauper - either through my inablity to find a comfortable place in this society or through constantly haraunging me with guilt-trips about how much less so many others have.

Please don't be in awe of it. So far it has proved to be more-or-less useless. Thomassan, to quote Gibson from "Virtual Light". If it (and whatever resultant words) has inspired others to go forth and actually Do and Be, than so be it. It can't be helped. For me it is a maddening, cruel monkey perched on my back and for the most part I often wish it would just leave me alone.

Y'all can't feel like outsiders because I'm the outsider!

Seriously, it's nice to know, in an odd way because I don't want anyone to feel like an outsider, that I'm not the only one to feel like an outsider.

There's more I'd like to say on the subject but I'd better close the window because I know I'd regret it.

Hey you know what you guys? You're alllllllright. Honest.

I also have a hard time with small talk, but fuck it dude, I throw in sometimes.

For loquacious.

I can't figure out what I am doing wrong with the image tag, so here's a link instead.

Is this just a community full of outsiders? And loners? And misanthropists?
If so, awesome.

CF12: yes, yes, yes, and hell yes.

Yeah, I sometimes wish I could comment, but my thoughts seem to come out awkward on the screen. That, and someone always says it better than I could.

Now, I'll go back to ignoring you until I need something else...

Wow, that is so my stepdaughter right now!

Redvixen: that's funny, I can remember acting that way with my step-father, umpteen years ago.

I was kidding about MetChat though. I still check in several times a day, but like LFR pointed out, I don't have kids, or know much about home repairs or computer questions, so I don't answer unless I am 110% positive and/or my making a comment just to make a comment just doesn't seem right.

So, I figured it's never too late to say thank you and I am thinking of you (all).

Thanks, goml. I'm thinking of you too. And, as is often the case around here, I'm grateful to everyone who's said what I was going to say, better than I was going to say it.

perhaps i just don't have a valid sense of humour

OMG, LFR I love your sense of humor. You're smart and witty, I always love reading your posts.

I feel like an outsider. I really don't belong on this board with all of your smart peeps, but I still yammer away. This is the second message board I've ever posted to. The first was BBCAmerica, but they no longer have forums. I love MeCha because people here are normal, there is no bitchiness or weirdness.

I'm with box.