MetaChat - OMG he sort of proposed!

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12 March 2007

OMG he sort of proposed! →[More:]Last night, my beau casually asked me if we should go engagement ring shopping together next weekend. We'd been joking about a summer 2008 wedding, but I didn't really know we were serious! Now he wants me to get a ring before our good friends T., A., and J. visit from California in a couple weeks! Eeeh!

So I've spent all day today looking at vintage rings on eBay. I know a lot of you MeChazens have pretty serious reservations about buying new diamonds, and the eventual-Mr. and I have similar feelings. Furthermore, we're a wee bit cash-strapped at the moment - two months salary will not be spent on this ring. I'm thinking closer to 100-500 bucks. Can a nice, unique ring be bought for this price? Are antique/estate rings completely guilt-free, or should I still avoid those diamonds? Is it smarmy to buy an engagement ring from a pawn shop?

post by: muddgirl at: 17:59 | 43 comments

Can you get a stone besides a diamond? Like maybe an antique amythyst or something? Would you consider a nice fake diamond in a good vintage setting?

Personally, I would consider owning a diamond if it were antique/estate (and only then), but I don't think I'd want something from a pawn shop.

posted by Specklet 12 March | 18:04

Oh, jeez! And congrats!!!

posted by Specklet 12 March | 18:05

I have no ring advice, but yay! Congrats!!!

posted by youngergirl44 12 March | 18:12

Congrats!

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 12 March | 18:18

Congrats!

posted by LunaticFringe 12 March | 18:21

Congrats. Unless he's just looking for an excuse to have a bachelor party.

posted by jonmc 12 March | 18:29

Yay! Congratulations, muddgirl!

posted by gaspode 12 March | 18:31

eeeee, congrats!

posted by casarkos 12 March | 18:33

Woo! Congrats!

If you're willing to consider non-diamond engagement rings, I highly recommend checking out some of the things that Etsy's vendors have to offer. Incredibly sweet and unique things can be had, often for not very much money, AND you can often get the artists to do a special design for you and the beau.

I also would avoid a pawn shop ring, but an estate/antique ring would be nice.

posted by Fuzzbean 12 March | 18:49

Woot! / No ring advice.

posted by safetyfork 12 March | 18:55

Congratulations!

posted by Hellbient 12 March | 18:59

Congrats! I was very lucky, and my mom had this lovely old pearl ring, with garnets around it for me to give to Jen. My dad had given it to her, but I suspect it wasn't new then either. It suited Jen just fine. But again, congratulations!

posted by richat 12 March | 19:00

Woo! Yeah! Congrats!

posted by TheDonF 12 March | 19:04

First off, congratulations!!! Second, if you like the look of diamonds, try cubic zirconium. Seriously. My engagement ring is the equivalent to a 1.17 carat diamond in a real gold band, and no one knows the difference. And it only cost $134.00. There are tons of styles out there, so you'll probably see what you like. The best part? You can find them kind of cheap, too, and you can change up your look as often as you like. Square stones, round stones, oval - whatever!!!

posted by redvixen 12 March | 19:53

Congrats muddgirl! I have an American brilliant cut antique diamond. Hubby and I bought it from a little mom and pop jewelry store that has a been around forever. It's gorgeous, but I never gave a flip about diamonds or rings, or "a rock".

I love Sapphire engagement rings. They were very popular back in the day and the stone to give. Diamonds are a relatively new stone for engagement rings.

Congrats again!

posted by LoriFLA 12 March | 20:12

Fuzzbean, I didn't even think of etsy! Thanks everyone for the advice and everything. I'll try not to pester y'all every day about this sort of thing, but I'm just surprisingly super exciting about this, even though we've been more or less engaged for years.

posted by muddgirl 12 March | 20:33

Congrats, sweetie! That's how it's done.

Now, on the rings -- I like vintage myself. Before the 50s, emeralds and rubies were considered great engagement gems, and they're much less. If you Google "Vintage engagement ring," you'll get a lot of wonderful sites like Sylvia's Antiques, Antique Jewelry Mall, and Fay Cullen. You can't beat the pricing, and I love the idea that these rings have a history.

But hey -- make sure you get a formal proposal! You deserve it!

posted by Miko 12 March | 21:02

OMG! Congratulations!!!!

posted by pieisexactlythree 12 March | 21:06

I hear that a row of Swarovski crystals surgically embedded in your forehead is the new diamond engagement ring. Classy.

Congratulations!

posted by Lentrohamsanin 12 March | 21:11

No, no- you get them embedded on your ass. Then, you buy designer jeans with holes in the back, to show off the design.

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 12 March | 21:24

Whoohoo! That rocks! Congrats!

posted by Sil 12 March | 21:32

Ass-crystal embedder, that's the next step up the aesthetician lader from anus bleacher, right?

posted by jonmc 12 March | 21:32

I thought you got the embedded in the soles of your shoes so you could have songs written about you?

posted by FlamingBore 12 March | 21:51

oh, and congrats.

posted by FlamingBore 12 March | 21:51

Congrats!

If I ever get my engagement ring replaced (I lost the teeny diamond years ago, oh well) I think I'll get an emerald, myself.

(And I see nothing wrong with pawnshops but then there are a million of them here, seeing this is a military town. )

posted by bunnyfire 12 March | 22:12

I love Princess Diana's engagement ring. Maybe with a London Blue topaz surrounded by diamonds set in platinum, instead of that big honkin' gorgeous sapphire that would break the bank.

posted by LoriFLA 12 March | 22:23

And I see nothing wrong with pawnshops but then there are a million of them here, seeing this is a military town.

I know exactly what you mean, and it makes me very sad. :-(

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 12 March | 22:25

Congratulations!

posted by brujita 13 March | 01:14

We got my antique engagement ring at The Historic New Orleans Collection museum shop, so - no guilt, plus support for an establishment I love, plus under $200 for a unique ring I still love. Win, win, win!

So, that's a thought - check your local historic museum gift shops to see if they offer antique jewelry.

posted by taz 13 March | 02:18

Diamond engagement rings have a resale value of 25% - 40% of what you pay for them retail, if that. Any way you look at it, a diamond ring is a terrible buy from a financial perspective. But you can ease the pain on your own purse, and close a chapter in somebody else's life, if you'll check the want ads in your local paper, Craig's List, or certain Web sites, thus turning a "heartbreak diamond" into a keepsake.

posted by paulsc 13 March | 02:59

Congratulations, muddgirl!

posted by chrismear 13 March | 03:39

Congrats!!! Positively reward your fiance for wanting to go jewelry shopping with you by the way. :)

posted by By the Grace of God 13 March | 04:27

I had *no* problem with going to a pawn shop with whose owners I already had a relationship of sorts and explaining what I wanted -- about 1/3 carat, in an oval cut. He called around and with a couple of weeks (in a fairly medium-size Southern city) he had three for me to choose from. And the cost was nowhere *near* two months' salary, unless we're talking a McJob.

posted by PaxDigita 13 March | 06:41

Congrats!!

posted by chewatadistance 13 March | 07:49

hooray for you both!

Mrs. Plinth selected her engagement ring from a very reputable jeweler locally. It was expensive, but it's very beautiful. She felt badly about getting it, so we visited it four or five times before she was OK with it.

posted by plinth 13 March | 09:13

Lots of antique jewelry is very, very beautiful, but it doesn't suit everyone's style. If your tastes are more stark and modern, you might consider titanium rings--if nothing else, they'll appeal to your technical side.

posted by box 13 March | 09:51

That's great! Congratulations.

posted by omiewise 13 March | 10:00

Congratulations muddgirl!

posted by halonine 13 March | 10:15

Congradulamations, muddgirl!

posted by deborah 13 March | 12:02

The argument against antique diamonds (or the "cruelty-free" ones or even CZ) is pretty much the same as that against ivory, regardless of the source (or authenticity)--it fuels the demand for all such stones. I'm not saying whether or not I agree with that argument, but that's the buzz.

My ring is titanium, and I've already told the story of my wife's.

Oh, and congratulations!

posted by mrmoonpie 13 March | 12:09

Now I'm really embarrassed that I didn't already say
Congratulations, muddgirl!

posted by box 13 March | 12:16

Just coming to this thread. Congratulations!!!

posted by essexjan 13 March | 12:56

I bought my fiance's ring at a pawn shop. It's a really beautiful setting. There's a raised marquis cut diamond center stone, then two baguettes on each side of the diamond and a circular? diamond on the outside. It was a little over $200. Tons of our friends are getting married left and right, and no one else's ring looks anything like my fiance's.

I felt comfortable buying diamonds from a pawn shop, but wouldn't have been comfortable buying them new.

Another option is looking at lab made diamonds or, as many people have suggested, other stones.

Congrats to y'all.

posted by jaksemas 13 March | 13:06

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