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05 March 2007

THIS IS A SHOUTING THREAD! →[More:]

JESUS FUCK, PEOPLE!!! DO NOT CHEW YOUR GUM LIKE THE DISGUSTING COW THAT YOU ARE IN MY GODDAMN EAR! IT IS SO GROSS AND YOU MAKE ME WANT TO BARF.

ALSO, MY LEGS ARE KILLING ME AND I DON'T WANT TO CALL THE DENTIST. I KNOW. SHUT UP.
post by: Specklet at: 14:44 | 55 comments
I JUST DRIPPED HOT PIZZA GREASE ON MY BELLY!! IT WAS NOT PLEASANT!!
posted by jonmc 05 March | 14:46
MY KNEE HURTS! I SMASHED IT INTO THE DOORJAMB AFTER I CAME HOME FROM "ZODIAC" ON SATURDAY NIGHT (PROBABLY BECAUSE I WAS JITTERY FROM WORRYING THAT THE ZODIAC KILLER HIMSELF WAS STALKING ME)!! I'VE BEEN PUTTING ICE ON IT FOR A COUPLE OF DAYS, BUT IT'S STILL SORE!!!
posted by scody 05 March | 14:53
ALL GOOD HERE. HAD A LONG TALK WITH THE CRUSH. SORTED THINGS OUT. HAVE FOOD.

BUT GODDAMNIT, MY CAT LAID ALL OVER MY PILLOWS YESTERDAY SO I GOT NO SLEEP FROM THE ALLERGY-RELATED CHOKING, AND ENDED UP CALLING IN TO WORK. NOW I HAVE TO WASH ALL MY BEDDING.
posted by kellydamnit 05 March | 14:57
I'M TIRED AND FARTY AND MY THIGHS HURT A LITTLE TOO MUCH TO WORK OUT THIS MORNING BECAUSE I OVERDID THE LEGLIFTS ON SATURDAY SO NOW I FEEL FAT AND LAZY TOO. I WANT TO GO HOME AND EAT GIRL SCOUT COOKIES AND READ MORE OF RIVER OF GODS WHICH IS TURNING OUT TO BE QUITE GOOD IN SPITE OF BEING RECOMMENDED BY CORY DOCTOROW.
posted by Lentrohamsanin 05 March | 15:00
I SLEPT THROUGH BOTH MY CLASSES TODAY AND WOKE UP TWO HOURS AGO.
WHAT.
THE.
FUCK.
SELF?
posted by CitrusFreak12 05 March | 15:00
I love the expression 'Jesus Fuck.'

I ALREADY FOUND YOUR SULLEN LUMP OF A CHILD A BOOK, A MAGAZINE ARTICLE, A NEWSPAPER ARTICLE AND A WEBSITE! THIS KID'S FIFTEEN YEARS OLD, AND NEVER MIND BEING INCAPABLE OF LOOKING SOMETHING UP ON A COMPUTER, HE'S INCAPABLE OF TELLING ME WHAT THE TOPIC IS! AND NOW YOU WANT A FUCKING PENCIL AND PAPER? THE ONLY WAY YOU COULD BE MORE UNPREPARED IS IF YOU WEREN'T WEARING ANY PANTS. THE ASSIGNMENT'S DUE TOMORROW, AND YOU PULLED HIM OUT OF SCHOOL TODAY SO HE COULD DO IT? EXCUSE ME--I'M GOING TO CLOSE THE DOOR OF MY OFFICE AND SCREAM AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS.
posted by box 05 March | 15:02
Box: Let him fail the project. That's the only way it'll make any sort of impact on him.
posted by CitrusFreak12 05 March | 15:12
Box--are you a research librarian? Research librarians are my personal heroes.
posted by jrossi4r 05 March | 15:15
citrusfreak you're assuming the kid *cares* whether he fails or not. if he's the same species of sullen fifteen year old i was, he cant be arsed to give a fuck. in fact this shouting thread makes me want a time machine so's i can go back and slap the chickenfried shit out of my fifteen year old self.
posted by lonefrontranger 05 March | 15:17
ARGHH!!!!
posted by safetyfork 05 March | 15:17
I WANT TO GO HOME.
posted by mygothlaundry 05 March | 15:22
WHERE IS THE DAMN PHONE GUY?? IF HE DOESN'T SHOW TODAY, I'LL BE PISSED. I GOT DRESSED AND EVERYTHING.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero 05 March | 15:22
THE ONLY WAY YOU COULD BE MORE UNPREPARED IS IF YOU WEREN'T WEARING ANY PANTS


lolling so much. God, that's funny.
posted by taz 05 March | 15:22
DAMN CRAPPING FECK ARSING LEASEHOLD AGREEMENT MEANS I'M NOW PART LIABLE FOR A WHOLE REPLACEMENT *ROOF* ON THE BUILDING WHERE MY FLAT IS. SO I CAN PROBABLY KISS GOODBYE TO MOST OF MY ANNUAL BONUS THIS YEAR THAT I HAD PLANS FOR.

IT'S LOOKING QUITE LIKELY THAT ONE OF MY BROTHERS MIGHT BE EMIGRATING TO AUSTRALIA FOR A FEW YEARS.

I HAVEN'T BEEN OUT RUNNING FOR ABOUT 3 WEEKS - WHEN I GO OUT AGAIN, I KNOW I'M IN FOR A WORLD OF PAIN THE MORNING AFTER.
posted by TheDonF 05 March | 15:23
cf: I like your thinking, but I doubt that failing the project would have any impact either. And, more importantly, as Omar says, fish gotta swim. When I'm on the job, I don't get to judge people.

j: I'm a public librarian at a small branch, which means that I do pretty much whatever needs doing.

lfr: Exactly.
posted by box 05 March | 15:23
Posted on behalf of (and narrated by) my gf, who is going through one of the most ludicrous, immature issues I've ever heard of:

FUCK YOU BITCH! YOU TREAT EVERYONE AROUND YOU LIKE SHIT BUT STILL I LIKE YOU AND TREAT YOU LIKE A FRIEND BECAUSE I BELIEVE IN THE GOOD IN PEOPLE. I HAD ONE (ONE!) BAD DAY, AND TRIED TO LEAVE THE OFFICE SO I DIDN'T BLOW UP AND HURT ANYONE'S FEELINGS AND NOW YOU ARE SHUNNING ME AND THREATENING OUR FRIENDSHIP BECAUSE OF IT???? WHERE THE FUCK DO YOU GET OFF? FUCK YOU AND YOUR DOUBLE STANDARDS RIGHT UP THE ASS.
posted by mike9322 05 March | 15:42
HOT JUMPING HOMINY COULD SNACKWELL'S DEVIL'S FOOD COOKIES BE ANY TASTIER?
posted by eamondaly 05 March | 15:48
NOTE TO SELF: NO MORE RUNNING IN THE HOUSE. I WAS RUNNING (well, a quick shuffle, really, but fast than a walk) DOWN THE HALLWAY TO GET KAYLEE TO CHASE ME TO THE BACK DOOR. NORMALLY THIS IS REALLY FUN FOR BOTH OF US. THIS TIME I SOMEHOW ENDED UP DOING A HALF SPLIT (left leg out front, right leg bent underneath me) AND AS A RESULT WRENCHED MY LEFT KNEE. IT FUCKING HURTS! IT DOESN'T HURT QUITE AS MUCH NOW AS IT DID WHEN IT FIRST HAPPENED BUT MY KNEE HAS STIFFENED UP HORRIBLY. ALSO, THE CATS WERE NEARBY (not sure where) AND SAW THE WHOLE THING. IT TOOK ABOUT 15 MINUTES FOR OLIVER'S TAIL TO UNFLUFF AND HIS EYES TO SHRINK BACK TO NORMAL. I LEFT A HUGE BLACK MARK ALONG THE CARPET AND I DON'T KNOW IF IT WILL COME OUT.

PISSDAMNHELLSHITMOTHERFUCKINGCOCKSUCKER!
posted by deborah 05 March | 15:51
I WOULD HAVE BEEN IN ATLANTA IF I HADN'T FUCKED EVERYTHING UP!!! TWO DOORMEN HAVE BEEN TOLD OVER THE PAST WEEK THAT THE HOT WATER ISN'T WORKING PROPERLY IN THE OFFICE BATHROOM AND NOTHING HAS BEEN DONE YET!!!THE SUPER IS PAID A SALARY AND THIS IS A BUILDING ISSUE. I AM NOT PAYING HIM GRAFT!!!
posted by brujita 05 March | 15:57
I THINK I BROKE A TOE WHILE DANCING WITH MY 3-YEAR-OLD DOWNSTAIRS NEIGHBOR ON SATURDAY, AND I *KNOW* I PULLED MY CALF ON THE VERY SAME LEG. EVERY RIGHT STEP HURTS!
posted by me3dia 05 March | 16:02
THE DAMN RENAULT GARAGE SAYS THAT A FUCKING MARMOT GOT INTO THE AIR INTAKE FILTER OF OUR CAR AND CAUSED £500 WORTH OF DAMAGE AND THEY HAD TO TAKE THE ENGINE APART TO FIND OUT WHAT WAS WRONG AND THEY WON'T PUT IT BACK TOGETHER UNLESS WE PAY THEM AND WE HAVE TO WAIT THE REST OF THE WEEK TO SEE IF THE INSURANCE COMPANY WILL PAY FOR THE REPAIRS AND WE'RE OUT OF MONEY!!1!
posted by Medium Format 05 March | 16:19
*am chewing lips frantically in an attempt to stiffle the huge guffaw that Deborah's description has caused*
posted by Specklet 05 March | 16:28
Good points, everybody. Stupid 15 year olds.

I AM FILLED WITH SELF LOATHING BECAUSE I'M IN BED ON THE COMPUTER AND I NEED TO SHOWER AND DO SOMETHING WITH MY DAY I FEEL SO UNPRODUCTIVE AND I HATE IT BUT I JUST CAN'T GET STARTED.
posted by CitrusFreak12 05 March | 16:30
CITRUS FREAK, TURN OFF THE COMPUTER! STEP AWAY! WE CAN SMELL YOU FROM HERE! GET SHOWERED STAT!
posted by ThePinkSuperhero 05 March | 16:37
CITRUSFREAK GO RIDE YOUR BIKE GODDAMMIT!!! TAKE YOUR CAMERA WITH YOU AND SHOOT SOME PHOTOS AND UPLOAD THEM ON YOUR FLICKR STREAM!!! DO IT FOR ME BECAUSE ITS SIXTY-THREE DEGREES AND SUNNY IN BOULDER AND I'M STUCK AT WORK AND TRAPPED IN MEETINGS AND BY THE TIME I GO HOME IT WILL BE ALL DARK AND DREARY AND COLD!!

darn kids grumblegrumblemuttermutterbitchgripemoan...
posted by lonefrontranger 05 March | 17:00
I COULD HAVE SWORN THE PHONE GUY WAS COMING TODAY, BUT I CALLED AND HE'S ACTUALLY COMING TOMORROW. BOO. AND I NEEDED TO GO TO THE OFFICE TOMORROW. BLEECH.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero 05 March | 17:13
TWATTING AMAZON AND YOUR CRAPPY ORDERING SYSTEM. WHAT A MAJOR PAIN IN THE ARSE. IF IT DIDN'T SEEM SO MISERLY COMPLAINING ABOUT £1.24 SHIPPING, I WOULD. I BET YOU MAKE LOADS OF EXTRA MONEY FROM PEOPLE TOO LAZY TO WORK THEIR WAY AROUND YOUR MAKE-LIKE HELP PAGES. WANKERS.
posted by TheDonF 05 March | 17:34
DAMN SECURITY SYSTEM ON WORK COMPUTERS KEEPS LOCKING ME OUTTA MECHA. USUALLY IT JUST CUTS OFF THREADS, BUT TODAY IT BLOCKED THE WHOLE FUCKING SITE.

AND MY PUPICK INEXPLICABLY HURTS. : (
posted by Pips 05 March | 17:34
ADDENDA: DEAR RECRUITER, PLEASE STOP CALLING US EVERY THREE HOURS. YOU ARE A SCINTILLATINGLY SHITTY RECRUITER. YOU NEVER RETURN YOUR CALLS IN A TIMELY FASHION, IT IS VANISHINGLY RARE THAT YOU HAVE CANDIDATES AVAILABLE IN APPROPRIATE FIELDS, YOUR CONTRACT BUYOUT TERMS ARE UNGODLY MERCENARY AND YOU SEEM INCAPABLE OF FATHOMING JOB DESCRIPTIONS A TWO-YEAR-OLD COULD FIGURE OUT. OH AND YOUR LAST TWO CANDIDATES SUCKED ASS. LOVE, LFR.
posted by lonefrontranger 05 March | 17:43
GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKING TENANT KEPT ME UP UNTIL 1:30 IN THE MORNING ON A WORK NIGHT! AND I WAS TOO NICE TO GO POUND ON HIS DOOR - I LEFT HIM A MESSAGE TELLING HIM NEVER TO DO IT AGAIN! AND THEN HIS GIRLFRIEND WOKE ME UP AT 5 A.M.! WHICH IS A BEDTIME NOT A GET UP TIME! NO MORE LOUD TENANTS EVER AGAIN. BAD TENANT BAD!!!!!!!! RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.
posted by Sil 05 March | 17:50
LOOOOK AT MY TOOOOOOES!
posted by Specklet 05 March | 17:56
YOU MIGHT WANT TO GET THAT CHECKED OUT, SPECKLET!
posted by ThePinkSuperhero 05 March | 18:00
I love contracting out to private companies, because money is no object and we can throw as much manpower as necessary to complete the task. I HATE CONTRACTING OUT TO PRIVATE COMPANIES, BECAUSE WE HAVE 3-4 DAY LONG MEETINGS TO REVISE ONE FREAKING DOCUMENT, THAT I COULD HAVE REVISED IN 4 HOURS!
posted by muddgirl 05 March | 18:35
WOULD SOMEONE CHOP OFF MY LEFT LEG? PRETTY PLEASE. IT HURTS SO MUCH NO MATTER WHICH WAY I SIT OR STAND. CHOP CHOP CHOP!
posted by deborah 05 March | 19:35
POOR BUNNY! RICE, DEBORAH, RICE! REST IBUPROPHIN COLD (ICE) AND ELEVATE! AND IF ALL ELSE FAILS, START DRINKING HEAVILY. OR, ER, GET THE MISTER TO DO SOMETHING TO GET YOUR ENDORPHIN LEVELS UP.

posted by Specklet 05 March | 19:45
DEBORAH, NOT TO MAKE YOU FEEL WORSE, BUT I HAVE A FRIEND WHO SLIPPED ON A BANANA PEEL IN HER KITCHEN AND BROKE HER LEG. YES, REALLY!!!!!! SHE THOUGHT SHE HAD RETORN HER LIGAMENT, BUT SHE HAD BROKEN A BONE!!!! ON A BANANA PEEL!!!!


You can laugh. I did. How could you not? Even she laughed, later.
posted by redvixen 05 March | 19:55
(since when did the I in RICE stand for ibuprofen? just btw?)
posted by gaspode 05 March | 19:56
MY CRAZY AUNT JUST CALLED ME A LITTLE FAGGOT ON MY VOICEMAIL! HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH!!!!!!!!!! I JUST LEFT HER A VOICEMAIL WITH AN EVIL MANIACAL LAUGH THAT LASTED FOR 3 MINUTES THEN I HUNG UP. NOW SHE'S SCARED FOR HER LIFE AND HAS CALLED THE POLICE. THE POLICE ALSO LAUGHED AT HER, BUT PROBABLY NOT EVILLY OR MANICALLY, BUT ONE CAN HOPE!
posted by WolfDaddy 05 March | 20:01
I JUST FOUND OUT THAT YET ANOTHER OF MY FRIENDS WAS KILLED ON SUNDAY :-(
posted by dg 05 March | 20:02
I'm really sorry, dg.
posted by gaspode 05 March | 20:12
dg, what happened? How do you mean that? *worried*

WolfDaddy, your aunt is an idiot; you are not little at all. You are strong and burly. :)
posted by taz 05 March | 20:13
MY CRAZY AUNT JUST CALLED ME A LITTLE FAGGOT ON MY VOICEMAIL!

AND YOU CALLED HER CRAZY ON TEH INTERNETS!! TECHNOLOGY HAS DONE A LOT FOR FAMILY SQUABBLES, HUH??;>
posted by jonmc 05 March | 20:13
dg, my condolences.

Taz, I'm a big and burly faggot on the outside ... BUT A SOFT FUZZY BUNNYBOY ON DA INSIDEZ OH YEAHHHHHH

JONMC, ONE WOULD THINK WE WERE PLAYING RISK, BUT WE'RE NOT. IF WE WERE I WOULD SO OWN HER ASS BECAUSE I REALIZE THE VALUE OF AUSTRALIA!!!!!
posted by WolfDaddy 05 March | 20:17
taz, this happened. It has now happened to seven friends/aquaintances. Maybe it's time I chose a new sport to participate in.
posted by dg 05 March | 20:20
oh, man... please do, dg. God. I'm so sorry.
posted by taz 05 March | 20:25
But, but it's such a buzz and I don't want to stop! You can't see it, but I'm grinning like a cheshire cat here. Also, I am securely strapped in to a carbon fibre and kevlar reinforced cockpit, unlike the last two friends who bit the big one. There are no guarantees in life of course, but I went through a very similar accident a couple of years ago with only some bruising to my ego.

Sorry to derail the shouting thread, folks.
posted by dg 05 March | 20:51
Oh, dg, I'm so sorry!!! Please be careful. Who else will commiserate with me about horrible children?
posted by redvixen 05 March | 21:05
I am sorry for your loss, dg.

As for my leg - I'm already taking an anti-inflammatory for my left arm so I'm not supposed to take ibuprofen and I have a subwoofer under my desk that's a good leg elevator and I'm using it. I'm already too cold, so no ice at the moment. Bruises are starting to show up which surprises me - I rarely bruise for something this violent, it's light bumps that usually make me bruise (yes, I know this is weird).

I have laughed at myself as has the mister (bastard!) - I'm such a klutz it's amazing I'm not injured more frequently.
posted by deborah 05 March | 21:40
IT AMAZES ME HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE A BAD ATTITUDE AT WORK. CHILDISH, IMMATURE, WHINING, LOUD, COMPLAINING BEHAVIOR IS RAMPANT. PROFESSIONALISM AT MY PLACE OF WORK IS SEVERELY LACKING.
posted by LoriFLA 05 March | 21:54
dg, just read the thread. So sorry for your loss. How terrible.
posted by LoriFLA 05 March | 22:09
THE DAMN RENAULT GARAGE SAYS THAT A FUCKING MARMOT GOT INTO THE AIR INTAKE FILTER OF OUR CAR AND CAUSED £500 WORTH OF DAMAGE AND THEY HAD TO TAKE THE ENGINE APART TO FIND OUT WHAT WAS WRONG

You should post the symptoms to Ask and see if anyone figures out Marmot in the intake.
posted by Mitheral 05 March | 22:54
I'M SORRY, DG
posted by brujita 06 March | 00:01
MARMOT? HUGS AND SYMPATHIES TO DG. NO SYMPATHY FOR MARMOT.

SO THIS GRAD SCHOOL REJECTION LETTER I GOT A WEEK AGO, IT COMES DIRECTLY FROM THE PROFESSOR I WANTED TO WORK WITH AND SEZ:
"BLAHBLAH YR CREDENTIALS ARE BRILLIANT YR GPA IS UNFORTUNATELY SUCK WE CANNOT ACCEPT. HOWEVER SINCE YOU ARE NOW GRAD STUDENT AT MUCH_LESS_REGARDED_INSTITUTION WE WANNA SEE WHAT HAPPENS WITH YOU THERE, IF YOU DO WELL YOU COULD REAPPLY AFTER FEW SEMESTERS."

1) I THINK I WOULD LIKE TO WRITE SOME SORT OF EMAIL THANKING PROF FOR AT LEAST CONSIDERING THE REST OF MY APPLICATION BEFORE CHUCKING IT ON BASIS OF GPA, BUT NOT SURE IF IT WOULD COME OFF AS DORKY.

2) AM NOT SURE IF ALL THAT ABOUT POSSIBLY REAPPLYING IS JUST TACKED ON TO EASE CRUSHING PAIN OF REJECTION. WHICH I DON'T HAVE, ACTUALLY, IT'S WEIRD.

OKAY I'M DONE SHOUTING. MY THROAT HURTS.
posted by casarkos 06 March | 11:40
AH SHIT, SENT EMAIL ANYWAY. THINK I CAME ACROSS AS PRAT RATHER THAN DORK. SIGH.
posted by casarkos 06 March | 12:02
Belated, but RICE is Rest, Ice, Compression, and Elevation. The compression part is important-- it decreases swelling and speeds healing.
posted by eamondaly 09 March | 20:10
← A weekend of cheerful movies! || Do over the counter sleeping pills actually work? →

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