MetaChat - jrossi4r is bored with her bedrest and we need to, um, entertain her.

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28 February 2007

jrossi4r is bored with her bedrest and we need to, um, entertain her. I, for one, think→[More:] that in her present condition, she is about the sexiest thing alive. I would like to take some sweet almond oil and completely anoint that belly with it until she and the baby inside are purring. Then do it again.

How would YOU like to divert, comfort, and pamper her?

post by: danf at: 15:09 | 33 comments

Umm, do our ideas have to be as creepy as yours?

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 28 February | 15:13

And I sent her a funny card already, so I think my work here is done. It's funny, jrossi4r, I have a friend due on the 3rd (with her 1st!), so whenever I think about you, I think about her!

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 28 February | 15:14

Hee! That's what I get for telling people that I have no boundaries.

I wish your friend much luck and a very easy delivery, TPS!

posted by jrossi4r 28 February | 15:16

I would take her on a driving tour of Western Pennsylvania. We would imitate the way the locals talk and we would giggle a lot.

posted by iconomy 28 February | 15:26

*peeks in* I'd sharing all my Eddie Izzard DVDs...make lots of dumb puns...and laugh at all of your jokes, too!

posted by Frisbee Girl 28 February | 15:31

Wow.

posted by tr33hggr 28 February | 15:38

≡ Click to see image ≡
I'd give her a Princess Bride DVD.

posted by arse_hat 28 February | 15:39

I'd get her drunk.

What?!

posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson 28 February | 15:50

Bring over a bunch of Cary Grant and Daniel Day Lewis movies.

posted by brujita 28 February | 15:51

Your offerings please me.
Signed,
The Dread Preggo Rossi

posted by jrossi4r 28 February | 15:54

Jammies. Pudding. Uno. Hire someone to come in and give pedicures and someone to do tarot readings.

posted by rainbaby 28 February | 15:59

I'd rent the three movies I'm currently obsessed with, mostly because of their awesomely sensual dance scenes (Strictly Ballroom, The Sound of Music, and...umm...I guess jrossi can pick the third one, as long as it has romance and dancing).

posted by muddgirl 28 February | 15:59

*streaks thread*

posted by danostuporstar 28 February | 16:05

i'd put together odd taste combinations for us to try as we bantered with music going that i would augment the wacky factor of with goofy dance moves. After dishing about what would make the best television shows for our new network, we would settle into both cheese and chocolate fondues as we picked baby names sure to horrify and confound Middle America.

posted by ethylene 28 February | 16:09

I'd add Shall We Dance? to muddgirl's list, not the remake with Richard Gere, but the original Japanese one because the movie takes on a whole different meaning once you realize that normal Japanese people aren't flamboyant and aren't used to letting their emotions hang out when they dance.

And then all three of us would eat ice cream (as long as it's safe for the baby) and then I'd surprise everyone with my favorite horrible dancing movies of all time: Staying Alive and Center Stage (the one with Peter Gallagher as a ballet impresario). I mean, come on! They both have sleazy dance sequences and improbable costume changes. What's not to love?

posted by TrishaLynn 28 February | 16:12

PSSST muddgirl!! Born Romantic. Sweet salsa action and Craig Ferguson playing 'Dean Martin's lovechild'. Good times!

posted by Frisbee Girl 28 February | 16:14

I would just kick back in her room and we would tell stories of our misspent youth until we laughed for several hours.

posted by mygothlaundry 28 February | 16:34

It all sounds so good. Why must you all stay trapped in my computer?

posted by jrossi4r 28 February | 16:44

I'm not in your computer. The comments are coming from inside your house.

posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson 28 February | 16:48

We're only 2 inches tall and if we came out we might get eaten by your evil cat. Thus we are afraid.

posted by mygothlaundry 28 February | 16:51

NOOOOOOOO!

I mean, YES! Stay here for the next week and a half, then you can get me drunk, Flo.

Oooh, Cat's Eye reference. Nice!

posted by jrossi4r 28 February | 16:53

*breaks into previously unnoticed bedroom to find IRFH maniacally laughing over a cut up Tickle Me Emo doll, covered in batting and stuffing*

posted by Frisbee Girl 28 February | 16:54

We're only 2 inches tall and if we came out we might get eaten by your evil cat. Thus we are afraid.

This is the gliders' excuse for not coming over.

I, on the other hand, will come over with offerings of various comestibles, books to read aloud, a wonderful game called 1,000 Blank White Cards, and 8 felt bunnies I made myself.

posted by Specklet 28 February | 17:19

I would make tea. Lots of tea. And crumpets. And muffins.

posted by casarkos 28 February | 17:23

I'd offer her some of the 'Artery Clogger' hero I just ordered (3 eggs with american cheese, sausage, bacon and ham on a buttered sub roll. I am not making this up). help that kid of hers build up an immunity to cholesterol. Or, if she dosen't want a bite she could watch me clutch my shest as my heart seizes which would probably be amusing.

posted by jonmc 28 February | 18:16

I would make a girly lunch and shower her with a few gifts just for her. Some bath bombs from Lush, a YSL Touche Eclat pen for her weary eyes, and a recording of my favorite lullaby.

Hush little baby
don't make a fuss
Mama's gonna put you on a Greyhound bus.

Hush little baby
don't cry again
Daddy's gonna put you in the garbage can

posted by LoriFLA 28 February | 18:44

If you're going with the Japanese version of Shall We Dance, you should also throw in Strictly Ballroom.

posted by plinth 28 February | 19:26

Ok, I'm sorta kidding. I'm saving the artery clogger for breakfast. I had the "Rock Bottom" for dinner (chicken cutlet, bacon, american cheese and brown gravy on a garlic sub) I made it hafway through after the order of fried ravioli. I love sloth and gluttony.

posted by jonmc 28 February | 19:32

I like it Lori! I used to sing "Beat on the Brat" by the Ramones to my firstborn. The lyrics are therapautic and the beat is perfect for walking a fussy baby.

And jon, considering I'm laid up due to dangerously high blood pressure, I'm going to have to put off awesome hoagie eating until I can wash it down with a beer. A really, really, effing big beer.

Have I told you all lately that I love you? Because I so totally do.

posted by jrossi4r 28 February | 19:34

Massage oil. Massaged into your feet and legs, the small of your back, and your shoulders. Massaged into the palms of your hands. And a nice head rub/scratch. Gentle massage around your beautiful, big, baby belly. And lots of jokes from all of us as we party in your room.

*dibs on holding the baby first!*

posted by redvixen 28 February | 19:58

I'd offer her some of the 'Artery Clogger' hero I just ordered
Meh, you got nothin'. Our favourite pizza (the XXX Special) from our favourite pizza shop includes ham, pepperoni, mushroom, onion, capsicum, egg, pineapple, extra cheese, prawns, clams, mussels, bacon, olives and anchovies. Plus you can add one or more of chicken, cabanossi or jalepenos, if that isn't enough taste for you.

Now that's what I call an artery clogger!

posted by dg 28 February | 21:22

Is the high blood pressure the reason why you can't have naan? Louise Erdrich describes saying horrible things to the baby in a very loving tone of voice in The Blue Jay's Dance--published before Dorris' suicide.

posted by brujita 28 February | 21:30

I'd borrow chrismear's complete 'Father Ted' set for her to watch.

"Drink! Girls! Feck!"

posted by essexjan 01 March | 12:55

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