MetaChat - So there I was, on the brink of certain death,

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21 February 2007

So there I was, on the brink of certain death, →[More:]

post by: Doohickie at: 23:48 | 28 comments

And there I was on, on the brink of curiousity....

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 21 February | 23:51

Marmosets to the left of me! Marmosets to the right of me!

posted by arse_hat 21 February | 23:51

Nibbling mercilessly at my toes....

posted by hojoki 22 February | 00:09

And at night, the ice weasels came.

posted by stilicho 22 February | 00:18

Weaving their scented hats of terror

posted by Pretty_Generic 22 February | 00:25

I could hear their cries of "shrooms!, shrooms!, shrooms!," above the howling wind.

posted by arse_hat 22 February | 00:28

Which reminded me of the day I'd lost my virginity...

posted by hojoki 22 February | 00:33

but then I found it! It was behind the couch. - Oh, wait. That's not mine...

posted by taz 22 February | 00:45

however it tasted absolutely divine..

posted by alteredcarbon 22 February | 00:54

Piquant, sassy, yet restrained and with a hint of...

posted by arse_hat 22 February | 00:59

owl's sweat; just like Mom used to defrost!

posted by bmarkey 22 February | 01:02

But wait... could it be... cilantro? I recoiled, exclaiming "WTFM!" And an odd voice responded from behind the refrigerator, saying...

posted by wendell 22 February | 01:03

kaaaaf! craaagh! huh huh huh graaaaaaagh! caf! grach! (mom smoked too much).

posted by arse_hat 22 February | 01:06

Being in no mood for her usual hijinx, I demanded that she put out that salmon and...

posted by bmarkey 22 February | 01:08

send her Cabana boy home.

posted by hojoki 22 February | 01:16

Meanwhile, the marmosets that fancied the woven hats of terror, continued their crafty infiltration of the attic, as

posted by paulsc 22 February | 01:44

the ice weasels sang show tunes and poured bathtub gin down Doohickie's gullet.

posted by arse_hat 22 February | 01:57

And that's how I escaped my certain fate.

posted by bmarkey 22 February | 02:04

Meanwhile, back in the jungle...

posted by bmarkey 22 February | 02:07

Lemmy was wondering what happened. Hadn't he just been on stage in London?

posted by TheDonF 22 February | 02:14

"Eat the rich!" he cried.

posted by arse_hat 22 February | 02:18

And with that, Lemmy blasted a fart across the theatre which blew off the hats of all the ladies in the front row.

posted by hojoki 22 February | 02:22

Now he found himself in the wilds of what he thought might be Borneo, with only a Rickenbacker bass and half a pack of Marlboro reds...

posted by bmarkey 22 February | 02:42

"S**t happens." he thought idly, and hoped the heavy crashing in the underbrush twenty yards to his left wasn't a pygmy rhino getting ready to charge him. "Bugger all," he also thought, as he fished in all his pockets. "Where'd I leave me damn lighter, and how am I supposed to smoke these crappy Marlboro's in the wilds of Borneo, if I can't even find a light?"

posted by paulsc 22 February | 03:26

Suddenly the neighborhood volcano erupted, sending a river of hot molten lava between him and the pygmy rhino and no more than three feet from his boots. He leaned forward, dipped the end of a Marlboro in the lava and took a long drag, while thinking out loud "I knew my luck was gonna change sometime." But then he realized his Rickenbacker was now sitting on the rhino's side of the lava river...

posted by wendell 22 February | 03:47

He saw the challenge would be to devise a clever scheme to ferry the Rickenbacker to his side of the lava river by using the rhino, but the solution wasn't immediately obvious. So, he smoked thoughtfully, and hoped somebody with a lava boat and a better (and preferably comely) head for combinatorial problem solving would show up before he ran out of smokes.

posted by paulsc 22 February | 04:51

He was on his next-to-last smoke and no one was in sight, so he shimmied up the nearest tree, grabbed a choice vine, and made to swing himself over the lava...

posted by redvixen 22 February | 09:26

...and landing on the rhino's back. For more thant the requisite 8 seconds, the rhino bucked and jumped...

posted by Doohickie 22 February | 10:12

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