Update →[More:]So it took me awhile to figure out what was going on inside my head prior to my previous post. I hope I wasn’t too vague about it. I had read Robo’s comment and wasn’t prepared to meet with the deluge of feelings that it brought up in me that day. His story about the little girl reminded me so much of me and the kind of situation I find myself in sometimes, like over the week-end, when I had to prepare a presentation, and was freaking out over it (would it go well, would I be able to hold everyone’s attention, would it be Perfect!?).
I really identified with that little girl. The kind of uncertainty that she faced over her future, even though she did every thing right, and still managed to be left behind. And how unfair that can seem, so much so that you crave for attention any way you can get it (lighting that fire seemed such a plausible scenario), and the fallout such actions can cause. I don’t think I’d be able to live if my mother weren’t here with me. Although I have thought of committing suicide a couple of times, never with a pen though. Now that was genius!
Maybe that’s why I felt a little hurt when I found out that the story was fictional. I really liked that girl, and really liked Robocop is Bleeding for telling her story so honestly and vividly. I wanted to punch him for making me go through all that and not having the pay-off of it being true, but maybe that’s what fiction is: it tells you about all those stories which _could_ be true. If only I could write my life story half as well.