MetaChat - I have had a sucky day today.

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20 February 2007

I have had a sucky day today. →[More:]
It started with the Complainant from Hell. I had a telephone appointment to call him at 8am. I called him on the dot of 8. He answered and said "Is that Jan?" (I hate it when people I do not know and deal with in a professional capacity only call me by my first name). "Yes, Mr C******" I replied. "Can you hold on a minute?" he asked. "Of course" I said.

So I held. And held. And held. For nine minutes.

Then one of my team members came over to ask me something. "Oh" she said, "I didn't realise you were on the phone". "I'm on the phone to Mr C****** but I think he's put the receiver to one side and walked away".

At which point he barked "Who were you just speaking to?" and I said "a team member." He said "You just made a false statement about me, I did not walk away from the phone". "I do apologise" said I, "you asked me to hold and I've been holding. I thought you had put the receiver down. But I'm ready to continue whenever you are."

"Ready to start, you mean."

"Yes. Whenver you're ready."

More silence, another minute or so. So I said "Are you ready to begin?"

Anyway, I managed to get some further details from him about the complaint against one particular company which I am investigating (I work for a dispute resolution service). This complaint has 8 parts to it, and one of the parts has another 32 separate complaints contained within it.

But he has now made a formal complaint to our Service Review Team about me, saying I made a "false statement" about him, the fucker, the prick, the nasty piece of shit bastard.

And tomorrow I have to call him again about another of his complaints against a different company, which again is multi-stranded. I am dreading it because I know it'll result in me doing or not doing something which will cause him to complain about me.

The only comfort in having to deal with this man is that I know it's not me, it's him. He has probably around 50 or 60 complaints going through our service at the moment (all of them multiple complaints) and I am dealing with only two of them.

Last year we had a presentation from a psychiatrist who's made a study of people like him, and there's actually a clinical definition - morbidly querelous. But that doesn't help when you are doing your best and whatever it is will never, ever be right. All I can do is cover my back and make sure my file notes are detailed and comprehensive, and that I am polite to him on the phone, because our calls are recorded. So at least that will exonerate me on this current complaint about me.

I also have more suckiness to report, but will do that in a minute.

post by: essexjan at: 12:02 | 32 comments

Ugh ej, just hearing about this guy makes me want to fly over, beat the living hell out of him, say Hi and fly home. He fills me with rage and I don't even have to deal directly with him! I'm sure your superiors know his complaints about you are unfounded.

Chin up! The bastard will get it returned to him, karma's a bitch.

posted by LunaticFringe 20 February | 12:08

bah! Such an ass. It sounds like his entire life is nothing but filing complaints. What a waste of skin.

posted by taz 20 February | 12:09

He made a formal complaint about the fact that you said you thought he'd *put the phone down*?

The mind boggles.

posted by gaspode 20 February | 12:09

You must have the temperament of a saint; I can't imagine dealing with something like that without snapping.

The fact that my calls aren't recorded is one of the reasons I try and get clients to do all communication by email -- that way there's always a written record of who called who a slag first.

posted by chrismear 20 February | 12:10

Awww, Jan. That really sucks. It sounds like that guy has a big stick up his ass and was just waiting to take out his anger on someone. I'm sorry it had to happen to you. Here's hoping that the rest of your day isn't sucky AT ALL. (((hugs)))

posted by smich 20 February | 12:11

What a strange, weird man.

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 20 February | 12:14

Anyone who hears the details of his complaint against you will come to the same conclusion you have about his character: that he's a fucker, a prick, and a nasty piece of shit bastard.

Sorry, Jan.

posted by Specklet 20 February | 12:14

Sucky day continued.

I just got off the phone to my sister, Lesley. We are chalk and cheese and are not really all that close, but she's been having a bad time lately, her (sixth) husband left her at Christmas.

Well it turns out they nearly got back together again last week but then didn't, and now, not two months after he first left, she and her friend are going out speed-dating. I asked her if it wasn't a bit soon to be getting into a relationship but she said she doesn't want a relationship, she just wants someone to take her out, pay for things, buy her things, and do jobs around the house for her. And, my sister being who she is, she'll find him. She and her friend have decided not to go to the 50+ speed-dating event (she turned 50 in June), but are saying they're 33 and going to the one for 30-40-year-olds (although she considers 40-year-old men to be too old).

Then she started ragging on me about why haven't I found anyone to go out with yet. Jeez. Even if I was ever to go anywhere where I might meet somebody I liked, I have all this social anxieties and shyness that can render me dumb and make me hide in a corner. She is the pretty one, the vivacious one, the popular one. There's never been a time in her life since she was 14 that she hasn't had a man. For her to go almost 2 months without a boyfriend or husband is killing her.

I am not jealous of her, not at all. She is desperately needy, and if there's nobody to tell her how wonderful, fantastic, pretty, amazing she is, she feels invalidated, she has no sense of identity outside of how men relate to her.

But she has a way of hitting all the buttons that make me feel so inadequate.

Right now I am Dawn Wiener.

posted by essexjan 20 February | 12:16

Jan, your patience is remarkable! You're not inadequate, you're a beautiful, sensitive soul. I know women who sound exactly like your sister, and they're never truly happy, are they?

posted by muddgirl 20 February | 12:26

Oh, Jan, what an awful day!

You do write about these people so well, though. You always make me giggle.

posted by occhiblu 20 February | 12:32

Can I lodge a complaint about the complaint lodging "gentleman?"

posted by drezdn 20 February | 12:38

That guy sounds like a complete tool. Nine minutes on hold and he says that? And he has 50 or so complaints on the go? What a sad, lonely, bitter, twisted man. I'd like to suggest that your company ditches him, but he must be a fantastic source of revenue for them.

Right, I'm off to email chrismear!

posted by TheDonF 20 February | 12:39

What a horrible position to be in. Your blood pressure must spike every time, he's a real health hazard. Can't your HR rotate him around to other people who can do what you do, just for your mental health's sake?

posted by Wilder 20 February | 12:47

Ha! The UK contingent of MetaChat should start a Goon Squad, except instead of stalking people to rough them up, they show up at their place of business and give them big long bear hugs, followed by some whuffles.

posted by muddgirl 20 February | 12:47

Set the complainant from hell up with your sister! Two birds, one stone!

Heh. Actually, I must say I love the stories about this guy; he cracks me up, he's so awful, it's priceless. I know he's terrible to deal with and I feel for you, but oh Jan, you really should turn him into a book.

posted by mygothlaundry 20 February | 12:53

I love the term "morbidly querelous" Maybe I'll register a post-50K MeFi sockpoppet with that name.

posted by theora55 20 February | 13:01

9 minutes on hold. I hope you bill by the hour.

posted by theora55 20 February | 13:02

I'd like to suggest that your company ditches him, but he must be a fantastic source of revenue for them.

We offer a free service, set up under Govt legislation, so there's not even the comfort that we're earning money off him.

And yes, wilder, he's rotated round, I'm only dealing with 2 of his complaints, the other 50 or so are handled by other people.

The scary/sad thing is that he is not an isolated incident. There's probably 30 people like him who are draining our organisation. It's got to the point where the powers that be are beginning to realise that these people are abusing our service, to the detriment of genuine complainants. The vexatious and morbidly querelous complainants cannot be allocated to inexperienced adjudicators, so those of us who are experienced end up with them, and we are needed to deal with complex cases.

If we were a court, we'd be able to declare somebody a 'vexatious litigant', meaning that, before they can proceed with any litigation, they have to get clearance. All of us at the coal face who have to deal with this man and the others like him (one man even had an extension built on his house to store his complaint files) are lobbying for something similar.

Now, as for fixing him up with my sister, even I wouldn't wish that on her ...

posted by essexjan 20 February | 13:07

Poor Jan. You can't write about this idiot - he'd sue you somehow. And he's too "old" to set up with your sister. Actually, he's just the kind of guy who will die alone in his house and no one will miss him, for years.

As for your sister....well, you do get some good stories about her, that's for sure. I hope just venting to all of us helps at least a little bit.

posted by redvixen 20 February | 13:14

ej...your sister's *sixth* husband?

...Left her?

...At Christmas?

...And now she wants to go trolling for much younger men?

...By lying about her age?

The mind truly boggles.

I couldn't imagine all that in a really bad date-movie. (On top of the customer-service hell, of course.)

Oh, well, hugs from across the pond.

posted by PaxDigita 20 February | 13:26

Good grief, jan, that guy's behavior winds me up just thinking about it... you're indeed an incredibly patient person.

Your sister reminds me of a (gay male) friend of mine... I've seen him stay in absolutely toxic relationships because he can't go for a week being "single" before he freaks out and reconnects with one of his old boyfriends, or starts a rash new "relationship" with someone he just met. It's insane.

I'm glad your bosses are starting to realize that the morbidly querulous people are taking over your department like a cancer- I've seen similar situations in the U.S. and have never really seen that problem addressed.

posted by BoringPostcards 20 February | 13:33

I sometimes think some people complain (and, IME, the big complainers tend to be a bit, um, older) because they worry everyone would forget them otherwise.

But then, some cranky complaint-filled old people were once young pains in the ass, too.

I wouldn't worry about his complaint. Maybe since it's all inter-agency they can finally laugh in his face, as he seems to sorely deserve.

posted by kellydamnit 20 February | 13:49

Darned if I would stay on hold for nine minutes for anyone.

I'd hang up the phone, call him back, hopefully the phone would be busy, problem solved.

(Is it time for you to find a less stressful job? Yeesh.)

posted by bunnyfire 20 February | 14:01

Since it's a government program, he gets what he pays for, right? Is it out of place to answer the "can you hold?" with "No, but you can call me back via our main number when you're ready."

I guy I worked with years ago invented a product called "hold on hold". When you were put on hold, you pushed a button and hung up. Hold on hold left the phone connection live and kept repeating "you have been push on hold, press star to continue." When the person at the other end pressed star, your phone would ring. It was sweet and sensible, but because it was part of the research division of the phone company, it had zero chance of actually seeing the light of day.

posted by plinth 20 February | 14:11

What an idiot. I had a phonecall on Friday from a complainant who was very similar - twisted every word I said, wouldn't listen when I actually tried to help, shouted at me, called me all sorts of names, you name it. I didn't sleep on Friday night for fretting about it, I was shaking when I got off the phone. But the way to deal with them is to remember that there is another technical term for them other than morbidly querelous - and that term is "total fuckwit".

posted by greycap 20 February | 14:25

(Is it time for you to find a less stressful job? Yeesh.)

No, I really love the job, apart from this one total fuckwit (thanks greycap). And "itsnotmeitshim itsnotmeitshim, itsnotmeitshim" repeated like a mantra. I'll be done with him soon, we try to push the complaints through the process as fast as possible, but in the meantime, it's very stressful dealing with him. We all swap our war stories of dealing with Mr C****** and the others like him.

Is it out of place to answer the "can you hold?" with "No, but you can call me back via our main number when you're ready."

If I'd said that, it would've been an even bigger complaint about me.

posted by essexjan 20 February | 14:30

"... She is the pretty one, the vivacious one, the popular one. ..."

exxexjan, I don't know your sister from Adam's left ox. But I've seen your picture, here on MeCha, and so I know it's impossible that she's "the pretty one."

posted by paulsc 20 February | 15:18

Thanks for linking to that article, theora55. My employer is mentioned in it. In fact, Grant Lester was the psychiatrist who gave us the presentation. And it is not true, as the Guardian says, that we have set up a special unit to deal with them. Not yet, anyway. And if did and they offered me a thousand pounds a week I wouldn't work in it.

posted by essexjan 20 February | 15:20

Thank you, paulsc.

posted by essexjan 20 February | 15:29

(((essexjan)))

posted by deborah 20 February | 16:39

At Virgin (I booked phone reservations for Virgin Atlantic here in the states some years back), we had this great hold button where you could still hear the person on the other line, but they couldn't hear you (we'd ask folks to hold while we researched their flights). You wouldn't believe the conversations people had with themselves or others while they were on hold. My friend M. used to have me listen in on particularly interesting ones. The "accidental" disconnect was also a lovely feature (though not possible in your case, I realize). Course, once I got a marriage proposal from some fellow in Florida.

(I don't know, ej... Speed dating might be a kick. You're certainly one of the most charming, intelligent, fun, and lovely young women I've ever had the pleasure of meeting, and I know many the man out there would think so too, given the chance. What better way to work through shyness... hey, ya never know.)

posted by Pips 20 February | 23:54

How about introducing this guy to specklet's boss ;-).

On my first trip to look for a NY rental 9 years ago, the super in one of the buildings claimed she was 32 when the youngest she could pass for was mid 40's. I gave her a big smile and said that I turned 30 next week (which was the truth). She fessed up, but I didn't rent the place--too many two bedroom places here are actually 1 bedrooms with alcoves.

posted by brujita 21 February | 02:33

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